The Meeting

Kai set out early in the morning. The cabin had no heating so he jumped out of bed as soon as he felt the cold creeping under the blanket. He went outside to stretch and breathed in. The fresh spring air smelled like frost but warmed quickly in the sun. The cabin sat on a slope facing east. Below was a green valley, dotted with hawthorn shrubs and wild apple trees covered in white flowers. There was some mist below and droplets of dew on the grass. He could see the rays of the sun pierce the mist as it rose up. He took in the view and felt blissful in his solitude. He packed an electrolyte drink, a small flask with green tea, two sandwiches and a thermos with tomato soup. It was his special recipe. The secret ingredient was a pinch of cinnamon.

***

He picked an easy trail. It was his favorite route. About a mile into the forest a small path branched off to the left. It ran along a small creek. He liked the sound of trickling water, it calmed him down. There was another thing he liked about this trail. The path didn’t lead anywhere, it just ended right where the mountain rose up at an impossible ninety degrees. That’s why no one ever came here. He could just be there in his inner silence, alone. Sunlight trickled through the leaves, illuminating the grass and moss in several spots. A feeling of warmth overcame him, his stomach muscles melted, he felt relaxed and joyful. He stopped at the end of the path in a small clearing. He sat down on a log and took off his backpack. For a while, he could hear nothing but the chickpea toast crunching in his mouth. He washed it down with some green tea and then he heard it. 

“Hello newbie,” a voice said.

He could hear the voice clearly. The problem was, he could hear it clearly… in his head. He immediately knew it came from a tree. As if the voice came in with an instruction. 

“Why are you calling me a newbie?” he said out loud, puzzled.

“Because you’re new here,” the tree answered.

“I have come here before,”

“But not like this,”

“Like what?”

“Open,”

“Open to what?”

“We have waited for a very long time,” the tree said. 

“Alright,” he said in his thoughts politely.

“I will tell you a story,” the tree said slowly.

***

Kai ran all the way back to the cabin. He rushed in, locked the door behind him and threw the backpack on the floor. He sat down panting, trying to get his thoughts in order and remembered why he came here in the first place. He had been suffering from anxiety for as long as he could remember. The new pills his psychiatrist had given him didn’t offer much of a relief. After a month of trying, he booked a visit to complain about it. 

“Is there anything other than medication, that helps you with your anxiety? A craft, a special place, a mantra?” Doctor Leary asked him after Kai listed all his anguishes, existential pains and side effects.

“A mantra?” Kai asked. He looked at his doctor, a serious man in his fifties, in glasses and a white coat. His neat, gray, boring office was the last place where he’d expect to hear the word “mantra”.

“Yes, some clients find comfort in special Indian mantras. Is there anything that has helped you in the past?” Doctor Leary asked, unphased.

“Well, I like walks. In the forest,” Kai said hesitantly. Doctor Leary looked at him, and nodded.

“I see. And on a scale from one to ten, how helpful are those walks?” he asked.

“Maybe… Eight?” Kai answered.

“Mr. Rasmussen, then you should take long walks in the forest as often as you possibly can,” doctor Leary said with a sigh. He seemed resigned but as if he has had this kind of conversation before.

“There aren’t many parks in the area. I don’t feel safe walking in parks anyway,”

“You could get away from the city during the weekend,” Doctor Leary proposed. He looked at him suspiciously.

“I thought you’d be a die hard fan of pharmacological solutions to mental health issues. You’re a psychiatrist after all,” he said.

“I am, maybe not a die hard fan, but certainly a fan of man made solutions. Nonetheless it is my patient’s well being that I am a fan of most of all, and anything that helps is vitally important to the solution,” Doctor Leary explained.

“Okay…” Kai said. He didn’t feel like investing his time in leaving the city for a walk. Logistically it seemed like a waste of energy. But he did have a place - a perfect place for that kind of thing. Still he wasn’t convinced. Doctor Leary looked at him. 

“Look, how about this. Let’s design an experiment. You filled out your monthly anxiety form when you came in today. For the next month, I want you to walk in the forest every weekend and we’ll see how your anxiety levels change. Treat it as a prescription,” he said. So that’s exactly what Kai did. And it all led to this.

***

Back in the city, Kai saw Doctor Leary right away. He had an office two blocks from his flat. At five thirty sharp Kai rang the bell. He told him every detail of his trip, up to the moment when he got a panic attack and ran back all the way home. Doctor Leary looked at him but didn’t seem to be shocked at all. 

“Well, you need to watch out with those tea leaves,” he said, “they harvest them in some forgotten provinces, God only knows what they spray them with.”

“The tea?” Kai asked, looking at Doctor Leary with disbelief.

“It’s… possible. Foodstuffs like teas get shipped by sea. It’s a long journey. A lot of things can happen, fungus, bugs, microscopic mold. And we all know what that means,” Doctor Leary raised his eyebrows and winked.

“What?” Kai looked at him with a blank expression.

“You clearly had a psychedelic experience and mold cold could have triggered it. Spontaneous reactions like that do occur, although not often. After consuming various dodgy substances, people have talked with trees, clouds, pictures and their own socks. I wouldn’t worry about it. Just maybe lay off the green tea for a while,” Doctor Leary concluded with a shrug. Kai blinked several times and felt a wave of relief.

“Well, alright,” he said. But the doctor immediately brought him back to earth.

“But, just in case, I’ll prescribe a new drug and um… we’ll see. ” he said, clicking something on the computer.

“We’ll see what?” Kai asked nervously.

“If your life improves then maybe it wasn’t just the green tea. That’s how medicine works, sometimes a shot in the dark can lead to a diagnosis. And um, well, we’ve known for a while that your current medication isn’t helping with your anxiety anyway,” Doctor Leary said lightly and started typing on his computer. Kai looked at him with terror. 

“You’re not saying… I’m crazy?” he asked. Doctor Leary looked at him with a professional smile. 

“We don’t use that word,” Doctor Leary said, “Look, there is a slight chance that you may have had a psychotic episode. We can’t rule it out,” he said compassionately. Kai felt the fear welling up in his throat again. So he was crazy. He did talk to trees. And the doctor, well he didn’t judge him, but now Kai felt embarrassed.

“I guess your experiment failed,” Kai said bitterly. The doctor looked at him indifferently.

“We’ll see. You still have two weeks to go,” he said.

***

The following weekend Kai went up to the mountains again. He packed some avocado sandwiches and a veggie broth. He cautiously omitted the tea. Soon he was sitting under the quiet, green canopy and a feeling of peace came over him. He breathed in the smell of wet leaves and pine. He looked up at the branches.

“Hello?” he said carefully. No answer.

“Hellooooo!” he said louder, “It’s me. The newbie.” he said. Nothing. Not even a whisper. He sat down on the log, only half-relieved. Because that meant he actually was crazy. The meds worked and he needed them.

“Are you talking to the trees?” a voice behind him said. He jumped up and turned around. A short, brown haired woman, dressed in hobbit cosplay clothes, stood right behind the log.

“Where did you come from? I didn’t see you,” he gasped.

“Oh, I blend in. It’s because of my clothes,” she said. He looked at her clothes again. It was true. Her shirt, bodice and skirt were all in different shades of green. 

“So, did you come here to talk to the trees?” she said.

“No!” he said, a little too loud. 

“Oh. Well it wouldn’t surprise me. They are quite chatty in these parts,”

“What?”

“The trees here. They’re chatty. So it’s only logical that more people talk to them.”

“More… people?” Kai looked around nervously. Was he imagining her? He stopped the urge to reach out and touch her, “do you… do that? Talk to the trees?” he asked instead.

“Yes. Me and a couple of friends from around here,”

“You mean… There are more people… who do that?”

“Yes,” she said and smiled proudly. Kai felt his knees weaken. He sat down again and felt his head swirl. He wasn’t crazy. Talking to trees was a thing. The girl looked at him, worried.

“Are you alright?” she asked. Kai looked at her.

“I did talk to them… but now I’m medicated. I can’t hear anything,” he said softly.

“Like schizo meds?”

“Yes.”

“Why did you take them?” she asked.

“I thought I was going crazy,” he answered.

“Well, the meds will do that to you. They’ll wipe out half your thoughts,” she said and shrugged.

“But.. doesn’t that mean that we’re crazy?” he asked. 

“Well, does hearing a voice from a tree cause pain and havoc in your life? Or does it make it better in some way?”

“I don’t… really know,”

“What did the trees say to you?” the girl asked.

“They said they have waited for a long time,” Kai said with some hesitation.

“Oh. They say that to everyone,” she said casually.

“Then they… He told me a story,” Kai said slowly. He didn’t know if it was OK to share so much with a complete stranger. A feeling of anxiety started welling up in his stomach. He knew that feeling. He was oversharing.

“Hm… interesting. I’d love to hear it,” she said and smiled. Kai looked at her with terror as his anxiety grew. This became too friendly too quickly.

“Maybe some other time. I got to go!’ he said quickly. Of course he didn’t have to go. He felt panic taking over him again. He jumped to his feet, put on his backpack and sped walk down the path, back to his cabin. The oddly dressed girl looked at him hurrying away, a little surprised.

“What’s your name?” she yelled.

“Kai!” he answered, speeding up.

“Don’t be a coward, Kai!”

Kai opened his mouth and gasped. How dare she, he thought. She didn’t know anything about him! They’ve only just met.

“It’s a little early for insults in our relationship!” he yelled back, not slowing down or turning around. The girl chuckled. As he walked back, his anxiety faded away. He felt guilty again, for running away without even asking her name or saying goodbye. She could have told him about the trees. She could have told him everything. And it wasn’t weird. People do that. He wasn’t crazy. He wasn’t crazy!

Back at the cabin, Kai chucked the rest of the pills on the compost pile and immediately felt a sting of environmental guilt. But hey! What else was he supposed to have done with them? They would end up in the ground sooner or later anyway. All he wanted right now was to get his mind back. His perfectly sane mind. 

***

Back in the city, he felt odd all week, while his body adjusted back to sobriety. He felt his thoughts becoming clear again. The week went by quickly and Kai couldn’t stop thinking about the forest hobbit girl. He called her that in his head. Why hadn’t he asked her name? A fool of a Tuk! He promised himself to apologize properly if they ever met again. He was counting the days to the weekend. 

On Saturday morning he was back at the cabin. He packed a light lunch, hummus sandwiches, green tea and a yellow smoothie. He was at his spot earlier than usual, so he gasped when he saw the hobbit girl already waiting for him.

“I want to hear that story,” she said smiling and patted the log, inviting him to sit with her. Kai stopped and his heart jumped. Her honesty shocked him a little. Also he didn’t notice how beautiful she was, when they met for the first time. She had a pointy nose and big eyes, like an elf. Her hair was wavy and long. Her green clothes, brown hair, the trees and the light trickling down through the leaves made everything look like a painting. 

“H… Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” she said. 

“I’m sorry for… last time,” he said.

“It’s OK,” she said and smiled.

“What is your name?”

“My name’s Mia, but my friends call me Freya,” she said. Kai looked at her a little perplexed.

“Can I call you Freya then?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, laughing.

“Now tell me the story, tell me the story, tell me the story,” she jumped up and down like a little girl. He took his backpack off and sat down beside her.

“OK,” he said. He took out his lunchbox.

“Hummus sandwich?” he asked, holding out a neatly wrapped sandwich.

“Mmmm, sure! Thanks,” she said.

“Alright, I’ll tell you the story exactly as I heard it. Wait, actually I wrote it down,” Kai said and took out a folded piece of paper out of his pocket, “this is what the tree said. In the old days there was a crystal chalice. In this cup all secrets, mysteries and wonders of the universe were contained. Just like in your books. The purpose of this chalice was for people to come, look into it and find out about things. When this cup was lost a dark time came upon you. It was literally a dark time. So everyone must be that cup. So that it never gets lost,” Kai said. Freya looked at him with her eyes wide open, her mouth full of hummus. She swallowed.

“Wow. I love it,” she said, “The trees never told me anything as weird as this,”

“Yes, it’s quite extraordinary,” Kai said. He bit into his sandwich, “I was hoping you’d tell me more about… trees. And how to talk to them,”

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Freya said.

“What? Why?”

“You seem to be good at it,”

“Good at it?” Kai asked. Now that was a surprise.

“I’ve been doing this for years and all I ever got was random sentences,” Freya shrugged, “Sometimes odd sounding words. But you, you got a whole story,” Kai felt dizzy. She didn’t know more than him.

“This was my first time,” he said weakly.

“Your first time? No way,” Freya said and looked at him, “that’s talent,” she said and laughed. Kai felt proud of himself for the first time in a very long time. He smiled goofily and suddenly didn’t know what to do with his hands.

“Thanks,” he said.

“Alright, tell me exactly how you did it,” Freya said, turning to him and piercing him with her brown eyes.

“Well, first I ate a sandwich,” Kai said.

“Check!” Freya said, crumpling the paper in her hand. She put it in her pocket.

“And then I just, you know, sat and… felt really really good. As if the forest hugged me from all sides,”

“Hmmm..” Freya said, tilting her head to the side. She inhaled deeply, exhaled and closed her eyes. He did the same. There was something magical in that moment. Without opening her eyes, she reached for his hand and held it. It was so unexpected, he flinched a little, and he felt his face going red. His heart started beating faster and his thoughts raced. Thank goodness she didn't see it! He tried to act as cool as possible. They sat like this for about five minutes. Finally Freya released his hand and stood up. He opened his eyes.

“I didn’t hear anything this time,” he said. 

“Neither did I. It was awfully quiet. But that’s OK. We can try again some other time,” she said and smiled. Kai smiled too. Not because he looked forward to weird arboreal experiments. He smiled because he was in love. But Freya had fallen in love faster than him. She fell in love when he gave her a sandwich. They spent the day walking around the forest, talking and giggling like little children. 

“I would invite you to my cabin, but it’s a horrible mess,” Kai said when it was time to go home.

“That’s OK,”

“Will you be here tomorrow?”

“No… I have a project due on Monday,”

“I’d really like to see you again,”

“How about next Saturday?”

“Alright,” Kai said. He went back to the cabin, and slept like a baby. No intrusive thoughts holding him up all night. He got up in the morning and prepared to go back. As he packed his toothbrush and shaving cream, he noticed it. His anxiety was completely gone. He opened his eyes wide and stared at himself in the mirror like a bewildered goat. He grinned. The experiment worked.