A confession from far

Jess flicked her dark hair away, a grumpy expression etched on her face. She was waiting. She looked at the clock. 7 minutes. Her light, hazel eyes were narrowed in concentration. 6 minutes. Her button nose wrinkled in impatience. 5 minutes. She got up and paced around the room, shuffling her feet anxiously as she went. 4 minutes. She couldn't help glancing at the curtain. 3 minutes. She walked towards it. 2 minutes. This was it, he would be here soon. 1 minute.

"Jess?" a voice called from behind the curtain. She pulled it back eagerly, and rushed onto the balcony. There he was, grinning at her from across the street, and for a moment, she forgot why she had come.

"Hi Jack!" Jess called, trying to keep her voice stable. Her emotions were a mix of delight upon seeing him, and despair at what she had to say. She pushed down her doubts, and greeted him cheerfully, ignoring the nagging pang of what she had to do.

"I've been so bored lately, have you?" he asked, raising a hand to squash the cloud of brown hair on his head, but all he did was fluff it up more.

"Yes," a trace of annoyance crept into Jess's voice, but she knew he felt the same, "I hate having to stay indoors!"

"Me too," he sympathized, smiling at her bitterly, "But at least I can talk to you." He seemed so genuine, so caring.

Jess felt a sudden swooping sensation in her stomach she had never felt before. But before she could say anything stupid, she remembered why she had come. She had to tell him. This was the perfect moment, he had practically started her sentence. Though her heart was screaming to stop, she continued through gritted teeth.

"Listen, Jack, it's great talking to you, and I never want that to stop, but..." She trailed off. Her mouth had gone dry, her mind was a whirlpool of random word and thoughts, and she could not find the right ones, only that if she opened it one more time, a barrage of nonsense would come pouring out.

"Are you okay, Jess?" he seemed concerned about her, but all it did was make this harder. She couldn't do this. She changed tactic.

"Yep," she squeaked, her voice as high as if she had swallowed a helium balloon, "Don't worry, I'm fine." The lie burnt her throat as it was formed, but she ignored it.

"Are you sure, because you sounded like you wanted to say som-"

"Nope, nope, everything's fine."

Everything was not fine. Everything was worse than fine. Everything was worse than before. Jess had just found out another thing. Another thing she was scared by. Another thing she had to tell Jack. She was in love with him.

She could not tell him that. She could never tell him that. It would only end in him feeling bad, and her heartbroken forever. So she did the only thing she thought she could do. She told him the truth, or, at least half of the truth,

"Listen, Jack, it's great talking to you, and I never want that to stop, but..." No, she told herself, you won't back away from this, "Jack, I'm moving away." She stared at him unsure of how he would react, heart thumping in her chest.

"Moving away," he mumbled, staring at the floor, "Oh, okay." He seemed broken, as if he were a sheet of glass, and she had chucked a hammer right through him.

"Jack?"

"It's fine. I'm fine. It doesn't matter. I-" He was speaking rubbish now, spurting out words like a random word generator, but she knew this was only a way for him to shield his true feelings.

"Jack." He stopped when she spoke, and looked at her hopefully, but she could not tell him what he wanted to hear, "I don't want to go, but I can't change it. My parents told me yesterday. We're leaving tomorrow."

"Okay. I understand," he still seemed rattled, "I'll see you tomor-. I'll see you in-. I'll text you." He walked stiffly to the door and behind the curtain. He closed the curtain, and he was gone. Jess was alone.

"What am I going to do, Jack," she thought aloud, "I love you."

The curtain billowed open like a theater curtain, revealing a surprise. Jack was there. He had stayed. He had heard Jess.

"You love me?" he didn't seem confused. His expression merged into an unreadable gaze. Jess didn't know what to say. Her words were coming out in splutters.

"No, I-"

"I love you too Jess." Jess didn't know if she was dreaming or not. But eventually, she smiled. They stared at each other, grinning uncontrollably. Then it hit them. The sad reality. Nothing could be perfect. Not with this obstacle.

"But, I'm moving!" Jess could barely get the words out, her shock was overriding everything. She didn't know what to do. He loved her? But she couldn't love him. But she did. The world didn't make sense.

"We'll text," Jack looked determined, he was pouring out ideas, desperately trying to keep himself together, "And meet up. And I'll come round anytime you need me. And-"

"No. Jack." Jess didn't know how to say this. He was so full of hope and life. "I'm moving to Australia." Again, she was looking at him to find a reaction. How would he take this?

There was silence. Each stared at the other, one's eyes full of sorrow, one's full of shock.

"Australia." Jack couldn't seem to look at Jess, "Why?" She felt like she had betrayed him in some way, but there was no way for her to change it.

"I don't know. They want to go there." Jess sighed, "But we can still face-time?" He still couldn't meet her eyes, but she stared at him, trying to read his face.

"Okay." His voice was blunt and short, as if her words had drained all the meaning and emotion out of him.

"Well, I'm going to go now..." Jess didn't know what to say. She slowly backed towards her house.

"See ya." He spoke in the same, dull tone.

"Bye..." She gazed at him as he passed through the curtain, looking at him for the very last time. She gulped. She had done it. Yet she felt like a hole had been torn out of her, and chucked into a river to drown. She would never see him again.