Fun times

The librarian shushes us for the fifteenth time, spit flying from how hard she’s shushing. Her eyes narrowed to slits as she points her spit covered finger at us. I hold up my hands in surrender as a snort escapes my lips. I turn towards my friend, who is doubled over the table. His shoulders jumping from trying to hold in his laughter. I smack the back of his head.

“Ouch, what did you do that for?” he whisper yells as he rubs the back of his head, half laughing. It’s his fault we’re getting shushed all the time. Bastard keeps mocking the writers.

“We need to finish this before we get kicked out” I whisper yell back with a smile on my face. Resisting the urge to smack him again. Ain’t no way in hell I am leaving this library without getting all the facts we need for our project. All we need is three different reliable sources on conspiracy theories. And from what we’ve found so far, that seems fucking impossible.

“C’mon man, let’s just pick three and write some bullshit on why they’re reliable cause it’s in a book and they have ‘evidence’” he makes a quotation motion at the word evidence. He turns serious for two seconds as he flips through a book. This is what I get for choosing friend over foe. The foe being a better study partner. “Look here” he turns a book towards me, with an alleged picture of the Loch Ness monster.

“That might as well be a whale penis” I snort as I push it back to him. He frowns as he looks at the picture. His eyes looking up at me, thinking I’ve gone mental. “Google it will you” I give him a wink. Oh, he’s going to love this. Fishing out his phone from under some books, he quickly searches. His eyes widening in horror as he drops his phone. I burst out laughing at his reaction, covering my mouth as best as I can. Love that look on his face.

“It scares me sometimes that you know things like this” he shudders, pushing his phone away. I shake my head at him as I grab three random books on conspiracies. These will have to do. The shushing hag has already threatened to drown us in her spit a thousand times. I’m never going to survive another five minutes in here with him. I grab my stuff then head over to the checkout counter.

“Hello, gorgeous” I wink at the hag that’s been shushing us. A cloud of cigarette smell hitting me hard, nearly knocking me over. I discreetly breathe into my hoodie as I place the books on the counter.

“Finally leaving?” it asks. Her voice slightly more pleasant than nails on a chalkboard. Just slightly. Smoking has evidently damaged her vocal cords. My friend joins me then, leaning against the counter. Stopping for a second as the smoke cloud hits him. He blinks a few times, giving me a look before looking back at the hag with a flirty smile.

“I couldn’t help but notice you checking me out” he wiggles his eyebrows as she blips the books. She lets out a scoff. “So, what you doin’ later?” he asks with a wink. The image of him together with the hag nearly makes me gag. But then him being tied up on the bed, and her with a whip in her hand. I barely have time to cover my mouth as a snort leaves my body. Now that’s an image I didn’t want burned into my head. The hag ignores him as she places the books in front of me.

“Please, don’t ever come back” she gives me a jerk at the corners of her mouth, hatred radiating off of her. I lean in close, mimicking my dear friend. A smirk playing on my lips, despite almost chocking on the cigarette smell radiating from her.

“But I will have to return these at some point in time” I put my charm on. Her eyes narrow further, if that’s even possible. She takes a deep breath before pushing her chair away from us. With a cocky smile we make our way out from the library. Now we just have to make up some bullshit on how these nutjobs are reliable sources.

“Fresh air” my friend breathes deep as we make it outside. He bounces up in front of me, slapping me lightly on my arm. “C’mon! Let’s grab some food, then head to my place” he rubs his hands together, excited. Probably because he knows we’re not going to get any work done if we go to his place.

“You know what’s going to happen if we go to your place” I sigh. I don’t mind, I just want to be done with this project.

“Hey” his voice is soft as he gently places his hand on my arm. “It’s entirely up to you what happens at my place” he says stepping in front of me, so I’ll look at him. “I thought you knew that” his eyebrows furrow with worry.

“I’m not saying no, just I know what’s going to happen as soon as we get to your place” I hold out the books for him to take. He gladly takes them under his arm, intertwining our fingers with his free hand. “I just don’t want to do this one last minute like always” he tugs on my arm so that we’re chest to chest. He let’s go of my hand to wrap his arm around my back, holding me to him.

“If you’ll agree to be more than my friend, then I might consider helping” he leans in, thinking he’s being cute.

“You might consider helping?” I ask, teasingly brushing my lips against his. “On our group project?” I scoff as I push him off of me, but I can’t help but to smile. “You’re an arse” I laugh.

“But I want to be your ass” he winks.

“If you do this assignment and it looks good then I might consider it” I use his words against him. He holds out his hand for me looking ecstatic.

“Deal!” I shake his hand. He is going down.

Three hours and some chicken nuggets later he hands me my laptop. He wiggles his eyebrows at me as I roll my eyes. Time to proofread as he sits down next to me. I’m more than halfway through and this doesn’t look too bad. His arms sneak around my waist from behind. Lips touching my shoulder, but I ignore him. I need to make sure this is passable. Once done I close the laptop, shaking my head.

“Looks like you’re going to be single a while longer-…” he shushes me, sounding scarily like the librarian.

“Nope” he tightens his hold on me. I smile to myself as I lean against him. It’ll be his funeral.