A Young Woman's Conviction

Water drips on the floor of the dank prison cell, a small dark pool forming on the dirt floor. The smell emanating from the cramped space is putrid, causing some of the newer members of the cell to dry heave. The icy cold seeps into the prisoners’ bones, racking their bodies with shivers to retain even a shred of body heat. Agatha sits naked, having been stripped of her clothes like the others. Her wrists are bloody, chafed from the chains holding them together, but she barely notices. Those are really nothing compared to the other wounds she has suffered.

Her body has been beaten, whipped, and burned. Her flesh torn with iron hooks. She prays the cold tonight will numb the searing pain in her limbs and torso. But no amount of prayers will fix the disfigurement she experienced at the hands of Quintianus. Perhaps she shouldn’t have pretended to take the torture with a sense of cheer. Even though she was in agony, she lifted her chin, met his eyes with a defiant look, and smiled. She refused to let him see her pain and fear.

Unfortunately, he concluded she needed a more heinous form of torture, so he ordered her breasts to be cut off her body. She supposed this reaction was the culmination of his frustration to her numerous and repeated rebuffs to his proposals. He expected her to turn away from her vow, a vow more important to her than life, denounce her Christian faith, turn toward the Roman gods, and marry him. But she refused.

Now, she sits on the dirt floor, her shoulders sore from being stretched across a rack to endure her torture earlier. The open wounds on her chest sting, the dried blood streaked across her chest and abdomen cracking, a strong metallic scent reaching her nose. Her body is broken, and her spirit is dimmed.

How did she even get here?

In those days, the Roman empire was in a period of intense crisis. There was political instability and frequent civil war following the assassination of Emperor Severus Alexander in 235 AD. Barbarian invasions were happening in Roman territories, putting increasing pressure on the borders. The plague of Cyprian caused widespread death and further destabilized the empire. In addition, there was an economic crisis, military anarchy, internal dissension and corruption. So in 250 AD, in a move intended to restore traditional Roman values, enforce loyalty to the Roman state, and appease the gods, Roman Emperor Decius required all citizens to perform religious sacrifices in the presence of commissioners.

This created a monumental conflict for Agatha. From a young age, she had decided to dedicate her life to God. She made a vow to remain celibate and give herself wholly to Jesus and the Church, living a life of prayer and service. She didn’t want to break the law. But to break her vow and renounce her faith was out of the question.

Emperor Decius’s edict created a major, empire-wide persecution of Christians as many refused to perform the mandatory sacrifices to the Roman gods. As a result, they were imprisoned and executed. The persecution under Decius was the most violent and most widespread the Church had yet faced.

Quintianus, a high-ranking diplomat in the Roman empire, was among many men who desired Agatha, as she was a beautiful young woman. Despite Agatha declining his advances, he remained persistent. He thought he could force her to change her mind.

When it became apparent she was going to stay faithful to her convictions and refused to be strong-armed, he took action. Knowing she was Christian, he had her arrested and brought before a judge. A judge who just happened to be Quintianus himself.

He expected her to give in to his demands when faced with torture and possible death. But instead, she reaffirmed her belief in God.

She was first sent to be imprisoned in a brothel, where she suffered a month of assaults. Her faith gave her the strength to endure. Even in the darkest moments in the brothel, she felt Jesus by her side, His presence calming. She prayed for courage, Jesus Christ, Lord of all, you see my heart, you know my desires. Possess all that I am. I am your sheep: make me worthy to overcome the devil.

When Quintianus brought her before him again, she told him that to be a servant of Jesus Christ was her true freedom. So he sent her to prison and ordered her to be tortured.

Now, as she sits in the cell, she looks around at her fellow prisoners. Some of them are here for the same reason she is. Dark circles mar their faces, their cheeks gaunt. Many have wounds, oozing blood and pus. Sweat lines their brows despite the cold, their eyes bright and fevered. The putrid, rotting smell is a mix of feces and infection. Agatha looks down at her gaping skin where her breasts used to be. Surely she will soon succumb to the same fate.

Her stomach grumbles, and she sighs. Quintianus made sure she was denied food and medical attention once she returned to the cell. She shifts on the floor, her back stiff, her body aching, her breath catching at the sharp pain. How long can she survive without food and water?

She prays for oblivion as her eyes grow heavy. Her resolve wavering, she wonders briefly if she has made the right choice. Should she have given into his demands? Would anyone have truly faulted her for that - a choice made out of mere survival? Would she have been able to live with herself if she had?

Will her life and death be for nothing? Will she be just another Christian who died for her faith?

In the same breath, she knows with certainty that her faith is worth her life. After all, Jesus died for her.

As her eyes are closing, a warmth sparks in her chest, like a flame set ablaze, and spreads throughout her body all the way to the tips of her fingers and toes. She opens her eyes and sees an older man, gray curls on his head and in his beard, his chest broad, his features rustic, approaching her. “Do not be afraid,” he says, gently laying a comforting hand on her arm. He sits with her and prays, and as he speaks, a sense of peace and calm spreads through her limbs, taming the sting and searing pain of her wounds. As the throbbing recedes, she drifts off to sleep.

***

She can remember first seeing the Christian symbols as a young girl. A man was drawing a picture in the sand as she approached. “What is that? Is that a fish?” she asked shyly.

He turned to her, his expression softening as he met her gaze. “Yes. Or another word we use for it is ‘ichthys’.”

“Are you a fisherman?” she asks innocently. He doesn’t look like a fisherman. Most fishermen she knew were broad, having grown muscles heaving in their numerous catches each day.

“No. Ichthys is an acronym for what the picture really means. If I tell you what it stands for, can you keep it a secret?”

She nods her head enthusiastically.

“It means, ‘Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior’.”

“Who is Jesus?” she asks, not understanding his words.

That day, she learned from this kind stranger that Jesus Christ was a man who lived about 200 years ago. He performed many miracles, healed the sick, comforted the oppressed. Brought sight to a blind man. Brought a man back from death. Taught people about God the Father and Heaven. Implored people to let go of their material possessions, to offer forgiveness, and love one another.

During the time, the Pharisees didn’t like what Jesus was preaching and how he would point out their hypocrisy. Jesus declared that He was the “bread of life”, that those who come to Him and believe in Him will never hunger or thirst. He is the source of spiritual nourishment and eternal life. Many people walked away from Him after this controversial teaching, and because of it, the Pharisees felt they had a good enough reason to have Him arrested. He suffered a painful and agonizing death by crucifixion. But that wasn’t the end. After three days, Jesus rose from the dead and appeared to His apostles and disciples, letting them touch the wounds in His hands, feet, and sides. Showing them that He truly is the Son of God.

Agatha learned about the Eucharist. During the Last Supper with His disciples, Jesus broke bread and offered it to them, saying, “This is my body” and offered them wine, saying, “This is my blood.” He commanded them to do this act in memory of Him. The first time she received the Eucharist, she felt her heart leap in her chest and a fire burn in her belly. After believing and experiencing the true presence of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist, she could never deny her faith.

***

The next morning, she awakens to find her wounds healed. The other prisoners are astonished at the miraculous recovery.

Many ask, “How is this possible? Your body bore many open wounds and burns last night. Where are they now?”

Agatha searches for a way to explain what she saw last night. She tells them about her vision of the apostle, St. Peter. “He came to our cell last night and comforted me. He healed my wounds through his prayers.”

A few days later, Quintianus, ignoring her miraculous healing, orders her to be brought before him again. Naked, she is rolled over hot coals mixed with sharp shards. The heat sears her flesh, the shards dragging through her sensitized skin, creating a sensation of pure agony.

When she is brought back to her cell, her body once again broken, she sits and closes her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she exhales all of her pain and suffering. Even in the darkness, she can feel Him. His presence comforts her and calms her fears. She prays, Lord, my Creator, you have ever protected me from the cradle; you have taken me from the love of the world, and given me patience to suffer: receive now my soul.

***

This story is based on the life of St. Agatha of Sicily, born in 231 AD and believed to have died sometime in the year 251 AD. What we know of her life was depicted through later traditions and hagiographic literature. The story of her torture, persecution, and martyrdom, as well as the vision of St. Peter are true based on these references, but I did take some creative liberties, such as the story of her young life. I do not know when she became of Christian - if her parents were Christian or if she learned of it from someone else. Any mistakes in her story are entirely my own.

She is the patron saint of Sicily, bellfounders, breast cancer patients, Palermo, rape victims, and wet nurses. She is also considered to be a powerful intercessor when people suffer from fires.

Prayer:

Saint Agatha, you suffered sexual assault and indignity because of your faith and purity. Help heal all those who are survivors of sexual assault and protect those women who are in danger. Amen