Long Overdue Conversation!

"I thought I might find you here"

"I was hoping you would and then maybe you'd remember"

"I never forgot"

"You sure about that?"

"Ali, I'm sorry for how I reacted when I saw you back there. I just wasn't expecting to see you"

"I was surprised too but in a good way."

"I am happy to see you"

"Uh.. Didn't really seem that way"

"Ali…"

"It's all good. You haven't spoken to me in more than 5 years, so I wasn't surprised at all by your reaction."

"Maybe I should go."

"More silence should make it better, right?"

"You don't understand."

"You're right, I don't. You never gave me an opportunity to understand."

"It wasn't about you."

"Really…my closest friend stops talking to me and it has nothing to do with me?"

"I was a mess, Ali. My life was literally coming apart at the seams. My relationship had fallen apart, my teenage son resented me for divorcing his dad years earlier and I was just lost. Unlovable. You were questioning the 'realness' of our friendship and it was more than I could take in that moment."

"I wasn't questioning our friendship, I just felt like we needed to physically see each other sometimes."

"But how did you think that would go? We visit and then what?"

"…we reconnect?"

"Ali…we were always more than friends and the only way we could be 'friends' was at a distance. I couldn't put myself through that."

"So you still felt it."

"Of course, I did… it never went away. I was lost, lonely and depressed and it was just a lot."

"I just wanted to know that you were ok… I couldn't 'see' for myself through the phone line or over the email thread."

"I know you meant well… so did I actually. My feelings were all over the place."

"So were mine… you knew that though."

"I realized I was pushing you…and I needed to stop."

"Pushing me?"

"Uh… trying to get a reaction from you about my dating situations. It wasn't fair and I was ashamed of that."

"I wondered."

"I'm sorry Al...the longer this has gone the harder it's been to reconcile, especially over the phone, text or email."

"I never blamed you…I felt like I finally pushed too hard. I was a hot, hot mess, I knew that. I was in this cycle of 'remembering' my feelings for you and trying not to at the same time…if that makes sense."

"It does."

"I mean, it's a real brain twist to be happily married and yet feel like I made a mistake at the same time."

"I knew you were struggling and I thought if I just disappeared you could focus on what was in front of you, rather than be reminded…"

"I get it… but I was so lost and even more confused"

"I wasn't trying to hurt you…but I also couldn't pretend that we were the type of friends that could hang out healthily. Just the thought of hanging out with Cait gave me anxiety…still does"

"Cait's a sweet person."

"I'm sure she is but I had unresolved feelings for you and I just couldn't put myself in that situation or either of you."

"When I suggested that, I hadn't really thought it through… you know. I just wanted to be in your presence."

"I know."

"How did it all get so muddled… I mean, we were fine for such a long time."

"Were we though? I feel like after that night things just kept getting harder and more complicated. I don't know. I wanted more and less at the same time"

"I pretty much buried that night and never fully processed it…and you see how well that worked out"

"Were you sorry we happened?"

"Never…"

"But?..."

"But…it did complicate things, whether we wanted to admit it or not. I mean, when I heard your voice on the phone, I felt different and I felt like everyone around me could see it."

"Same...I always thought one day we'd end up together"

"Me too…I think I subconsciously started making space for you."

"And just like that, Cait"

"That's not fair…"

"I know… but it did seem fast."

"It was more than two years later…I had no idea where I stood with you. We may have been talking but we weren't talking about that."

"I guess we were doing what we had to do… "

"Sure we were… you know, I remember hearing songs and thinking why do I feel so sad about my ex. I mean, I was glad to be out of that, so it was confusing.. And finally I realized, I was 'bleeding love' for you."

Awww, really? Ali, are we good?"

"We are…Sam, this is all I wanted. A conversation so we could both understand."

"How is Cait?"

"She's good, we get along better now than we did when we were together."

"Wait… what?"

"We divorced a little over a year ago."

"I'm sorry."

"For what? It's not a bad thing… things change, needs change… it's been easy and that is such a blessing."

"Wow."

"What about you… attached? Married? What?

"Neither.…"

"Really? Why?"

"After Cal, there was a lot I needed to work through. I think that was probably evident even before I pulled the Houdini act.  I was spiraling and lost, grasping at straws. I still can't believe I swiped right on some of the guys that I did… ugh!"

"So no one stuck?"

"Nah… I had one fairly dangerous encounter and it opened my eyes."

"Sam?... You know, I was so worried about that."

"I know… I was so desperate it's embarrassing. So, I've decided I'll be single forever."

"Forever?"

"Yep!"

"Hmm… Sunsets here are still beautiful, aren't they?"

"Yes, it is a peaceful spot. I still come here every now and then to clear my head and remember."

"We should probably head back before it get's too dark."

"Or we could go to Benny's like we used to."

"It's still there?"

"Yep… "

"Lauren will be disappointed if we don't go back."

"She's not going to miss us… there are a ton of girls there!"

"True.. let's do it."

"Sam, do you ever think about that night?"

"Two dirty martini's, please… Of course, more than I care to admit."

"What do you think about?"

"You want details?"

"I think that night defined my life."

"How do you mean?"

"There was something sacred and spiritual about that night. It was like a glimpse into what love and life were suppose to be like."

"Yes! Yes! I had never felt anything like that before… like when our eyes met that night, something happened and then it just kept happening."

"Do you still feel it?"

"…do you?"

"Yes!"

"This is why we couldn't hang out."

"I know."

"So…"

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"You didn't"

"Do you want to.. "

"Yes!"

"Yes what?"

"Whatever you were going to say."

"..have a shot?"

"Oh.. Ok!"

"kidding."

"Do you want to finally explore this thing between us?"

"Yes! I really do."

"So, tell me about your life, what have I missed?

"Me… you've missed me!"

"More than you know "

"Whoa…what was that for?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be… and don't stop."

"How was that?"

"Is 'forever' still off the table?"

"it's all ON the table!"

"You're lips are still the softest, sweetest ever... EVER!"