She was Happy

She was there at the corner of the room, looking at the open glass window. Happily smiling for no reason at all, maybe she's just happy looking at the scenery or perhaps she's reminiscing cause her mind seems to be not in reality. 

The dusty couch on her side and the wooden rocking chair where she is sat, the old furniture no one knows how many years has is been stayed at this shadowy and vast house. 

The dinner seemed to be served at the dining table she thought, because of the luscious scent mix with an inviting tasty smell. "Creamy potato soup" she mumbled and smiled. 

As soon as she hears the door opened and the sound of her daughter's heels clicking on the wooden floor, she stopped her chair from rocking and help herself stood up, her body was quite heavy for her and she was also annoyed for the fact that her daughter needs to held her first before she even let her foot touch the ground. She hates being old that's what she always thought.

"Oh mama careful" Her daughter warned her. She slowly sat again and shakily trying to grab the spoon that is already close to her but her hand stopped mid-air, her daughter noticed the problem and lend her her hand. "I'll feed you" Her daughter request with a smile drawn on her lovely face. She shook her head and said "I'm, not a baby" but the other laugh and raised her hand with a spoon full of soup "say ah" her daughter said.

She knows deep inside that she can't feed herself, her shaky arms and legs, wrinkly skin and blurry eyes won't help her do things she wants to do. She was frustrated.

Opened her mouth and ate slowly while her daughter accompanies her with her meal. "You know back when I was a teen, I still want to be feed like this. Cause I was lazy" She told.

"But now I hated it when you feed me, not that I hate you but I want to do things without someone help cause I want to be stronger but my weak body always proves me wrong, how annoying" She sighs and continued.

Her daughter looked at her fondly but stayed quiet. Fed her mama in silent but with a smile, happily listening to her mother's stories of her past, laughing with her with the embarrassing dum moments her mother experience.

After she ate she took a bath with the help of her daughter, every walk she makes is hard for her to do so she has her daughter to hold her throughout the daily activities she does. When the night came, she lay in bed and stare at the blank ceiling reminiscing the lovely days.

When she was in her mid 30, she thought she would die without a family. Love has never been on her side since when she was a teen but the funny thing is she is hopelessly romantic but never experience a love story herself. Until she met the love of her life, a bit older than her but age doesn't really matter when you finally found a man that will truly love you. 

The poster of a brand new popular artist is paced in the corner of the room, it reminds her of those days where she used to love music and would always attend concerts with her one true friend that always accompany her with dumb things they would always do. 

She laughs as she remembers the day they skipped school to run around the city but it ended up raining and they just ran around the street with wet clothes and laughs around the people in umbrellas. How embarrassing. 

Like the day she fought with her guy friends ex-girlfriend because she thought she was the one who broke their relationship, she was embarrassed and annoyed but anger ate her first so she got into a physical fight with the girl. That was funny, love really can drive you crazy. 

Love? Maybe it was that day she met her husband is the day she felt love. Because back then failed relationship is always the end of all her love stories, she's not afraid to try again for her heart to open for another chance that she hopefully thought would heal the pain she felt when she tried loving someone that didn't love her back or perhaps it was when she loved someone who didn't even know her existence.

She just hoped love was easy back then but now she knows that you cant learn how to ride a bike without having a bruise.

She closed her eyes and gave a deep sigh. Now she's imagining her old self standing near that familiar tree, it was her hometowns bigger tree she thought. As she stood there freely she felt herself catching the clean wind the blows her hair beautifully. 

She then imagined herself walking barefooted at the greenish grass that tickles her feet, she saw her younger self running towards her with a smile on her face. 

Look at her go.

Her younger self hugged her and held both her hands and dances while she swings her arms with hers. 

Will I be happy if I met myself in the past? She thought again. Her younger self is so much happier than she thought she was. 

It was nice to know though.

That her days back then were full of laughter and embarrassment, life lessons and mistakes that thought her how to be a better person. 

It was her every night hobby, reminiscing on her bed before she drifts to sleep. Reminding herself of those days and moments she knows she contented and happy.

Where days are full of laughter and people around her that always made her life fun and enjoyable, now she doesn't know where those people are. Where could they be on this earth, she always wonders every time she remembers them but times do pass and so does days and years.

But despite that clock around life, she knows... She knows

She was happy.