One Thousand Paper Cuts

It was a cold winter afternoon when it happened. The street looked like an unfinished painting. So much of the canvas was still perfectly white, as if waiting for the artist's hand to return. The sound of tyres screeching and alarms going off was deafening but quiet at the same time. 

She was walking down the street. The breeze created by  the passing cars made her shiver, so she huddled against the cold and placed her hands in her pockets.  Despite the depressing scenery in the bustling, yet boring city, Alex felt fine. She was better than fine actually, she was ecstatic, as if this huge weight was lifted off her shoulders. She had finally decided to do it; soon everything was going to be over, once and for all.

She was going to leave everything behind and everyone would be happy, it's not like they would miss her.

 Perhaps, making that list was a good idea after all.

 No one had known about it at first, she always took it with her wherever she went and made sure she was alone while looking at it. But as time went on, she grew careless with it, which was fine for a while, until a month ago, when Linda Anderson found it and exposed it to the entire school.

Of course, nobody knew what it was at first, but it didn't take them long to come up with their speculations and theories, all of them reaching the same false conclusion, which Alex made no attempt to correct. It was easier that way, they didn't need to know, they wouldn't understand anyway. No one ever did.

At first everyone made fun of her for the list, called her delusional, ridiculed and laughed at her, but she didn't do anything, she was used to it anyway.

However, as time went on, the constant whispers, and the number of averted eyes in the corridor increased significantly. All thanks to that list. None of that mattered anyway, everything was going to end that day.

The city was the same as it had always been, the old cigarette butts on the uneven sidewalk, the overpowering smell of garbage that was always there, but in that moment Alex thought that everything was different. Her grip tightened on the straps of her backpack and walked on, the wind blowing her dark hair back and revealing her pale skin.

Jared DeMarco was number ten.

He wasn't particularly handsome or charming, his long messy hair and crooked teeth made him as appealing as a piranha on a toilet. At first, everyone was surprised he even made it on the list, but he was reliable and nice. 

Alex had always thought he was held to ridiculous standards and unfairly judged, so there he was.

Next was Noah Park, Alex wasn't sure what it was about him that led her to put him on the list, he was mostly quiet and isolated, and tended to make intense eye contact with people, which usually freaked them out. He never spoke unless directly asked a question. He was similar to Alex in those traits, but he was kind, always ending conversations with a polite smile.

Number seven and eight were Asher and Caleb Davis, the famous twin brothers of the school. She had to admit that the only reason one was before the other was because of her obsessive need for alphabetical order, because if you asked her, they were both the same. Arrogant and self-centered, yet exceptionally popular and intelligent. 

Alex couldn't deny her confusion with them. Why would someone that smart care about such a remarkably absurd thing like popularity?

She stopped walking when she reached the house that, even though it looked the same as always, she couldn't help but stare. 

The front of the modern house had as much personality as a blank page. It was clean and geometric, with big windows and walls  painted with boring natural colors. It looked just like every other house in the neighbourhood, simply a box to put people in.

It took her a moment to unlock the door and walk inside. She made sure not to slam it due to the strong wind even though she knew no one was home. 

Reaching inside her backpack, Alex grabbed the razor blades which she had bought that morning before school and went upstairs to take a shower. She wanted to be clean and relaxed for this; she didn't want people claiming the next day that she had gone crazy and done something without thinking, in the heat of the moment. 

Alex wasn't crazy. She knew what she was doing.

The rest of the list was easy to predict for anyone who attended her school. Emily Ferris had even come up to Alex to show her agreement on it. Owen Wright and Samuel Taylor numbers five and six, followed by Dylan Garcia at number four. 

Some of the other girls in her school began making their own lists and comparing them during break time. It was all fun and games. Some would put Ian Hernandez as number three, like Alex, others would put Lucas Chen in that spot, but there was no doubt or discussion about number one. 

Carter Jones. This was an expected one, he was the prince of the Winterville Academy. Naturally, this wasn't an official title, but it certainly seemed like one. 

He was assertive and confident, yet not impulsive or bossy and he worked out enough to have just the right amount of muscles without it being excessive.

All over the school, girls and guys alike, developed crushes on him, even some of the more morally ambiguous teachers. What was Alex supposed to do? Ignore her feelings? She had been doing that for way too long.

She stepped out of the shower and put on a long shirt that almost went down to her knees. She contemplated putting pants on, but quickly chose not to. They were going to get dirty if she did. Just as she was gathering everything she needed, she heard a noise downstairs, followed by the sound of rushed steps coming in her direction.

He was here.

He stumbled into the room looking shaky and pale like he was about to be sick. Alex braced herself for what was going to happen. She held the razor blade on her hand and in one swift motion, she slit his throat.

There seemed to be so much more blood than last time. It kept gushing out of the wound. At that moment, Alex couldn't help but think that he looked beautiful. 

His gums were swollen and his eyes wide open, with a look of fear and  surprise. The oozing red liquid was sticking to his hair and his body kept shaking until suddenly it stopped.

Carter Jones.

It had taken her a while to decide how she wanted to do this with him. Alex could do what she did with Noah and hang him in his bedroom. Or maybe like Owen, and drown him in his bathtub. She knew he would have looked stunning any way she did it. He was number one after all. The last one on the list.