20 comments

Science Fiction Suspense Sad

This story contains themes or mentions of suicide or self harm.



“Timmy!”, Timmy's mother shouted from the kitchen. “It's time to go to bed!” Timmy was occupied, playing a choose-your-own-path space game. He was almost done with the level so he decided to keep playing. He was nearing the end when his mother popped into his room and scowled at him. “I thought I told you to go to bed,” she said. Timmy replied, “Well I was almost done with the level”. “Mom-I wish I was old like you so that I could go to the moon”. “Don't rush your life sweetie” she says smiling. “You'll go to the moon someday, I just know it”. 

Turning back to his game, he saw the aliens attacking him furiously. The aliens were duplicating while his mom distracted him. By now it was too late. They got to his rocket and it was destroyed. There was no hope for him. He reluctantly got up and turned off the TV. Then, he began his regular bedtime routine. Being eight years old he knew how to get ready by himself. He was a “big boy”. Ready for bed- he got into his bed covers. 

Up ahead of him was his space clock. Space had been his favorite thing for as long as he could remember. Every birthday party was space-themed. His whole room was space-themed. Being eight years old, he dreamed of being an astronaut and going to the moon one day. At school they had a career day where they all said what they wanted to be when they grew up. Timmy of course said he wanted to be an astronaut. He was told that not many people had the chance to go to the moon and it was a long shot of him going. He just ignored those people. The people that didn't follow their dreams and passions, and took the easy route in life. The people are so scared to take a big leap forward, that they tell other people not to do it. Looking up at the ceiling full of glow-in-the-dark stars, he drifted to sleep. 

Timmy woke with a jolt, seeing the stars again, only they weren't the green glow-in-the-dark ones…they were white. Very tired, he rubs his eyes, gets up, and looks around. There were rocks everywhere. He picked one up and threw it. Instead of dropping to the ground quickly, it floated majestically in the air. He looks at the ground. Grayish rock all over. No sign of life anywhere. He looks at his hand, then his body, he is wearing a spacesuit. Then he realized where he was, what he was doing, why he was there. 

The 32-year-old Timmy Crawford had been sent to the Moon. NASA was looking for recruitment to be sent to the moon as test dummies. There was an 85% chance of death on the way so there weren't people piling up asking to be sent.  Timmy, being homeless, with no wife, no kids, and no career, told NASA he couldn't wait to get started. They would send the dogs, or the monkeys to space, but there was a big fuss from people who didn't want to hurt the animals. And besides, animals can't gather data and fly the rocket back to Earth. 

Timmy looked at the rocket suddenly. Slowly waking up from that dream he had, he realized that his rocket had had malfunctions on the landing on the moon. He sits down, knees to his chest, getting sick and dizzy. Emotions pile through him like a bulldozer. He tells himself he's a failure. He wouldn't be on the moon if he weren't a failure. This lifelong childhood dream of his had become reality, but the reality was frightening. He stands back up looking at the Earth. Wishing to be a kid again….

After about an hour to think about his situation, Timmy stands back up. He had learned as a kid that astronauts couldn't take their helmets off by themselves. They needed someone else to do it. He balls a fist, and starts punching his space helmet. He punches over and over, until there is a small crack starting to form. He keeps going, whacking at his helmet. He finally breaks through. With the subsequent volume of air expelled into Timmy's chest cavity, his lungs are ruptured. His death is very quick. A noise comes from his radio transmitter in his helmet. “This is NASA, Hayden Galt speaking, Timmy do you copy”. “We understand your rocket had malfunctions, we are sending another rocket soon to pick you up”, “Timmy do you copy”. 

“Is he dead!”

“Yessir, we suspect so. While there is no way of telling for sure, he hasn't answered our signals for a couple of hours. “

“This is crazy-I haven't seen him for twelve years”

“Well would you like to go, yes or no”

“I’ll go, as long as they know it's safe”

“Yes, it's very safe, and one more thing before you go. There might be a way to bring him back…”

After one hour on the moon, another rocket landed on the moon to pick up Timmy. The astronaut hopped out of the rocket and rushed over to Timmy as fast as he could. He knelt to see Timmy's face. Timmy's eyes were wide open with his mouth hung down. The astronaut picked up Timmy, holding him in his arms. He walks into the rocket and sets Timmy down on a bed. Then, walking near the rocket's wiring system, he connects a plug into an empty slot. Then grabbing the other side, he puts an air mask on Timmy's face that's connected to an oxygen tank. The astronaut takes a step back, says a little prayer, then turns on the power for the oxygen tank. Beads of sweat trickle down his face as he prays that Timmy would be revived. A minute passes and no luck. “C'mon,” the astronaut says angrily. 

Two minutes go by…

Then three…

Four minutes later...

Five minutes go by…

Eight minutes later…

After ten minutes of no success, the astronaut pounds on a table in anger, clenching his teeth. He readies the ship for takeoff. Then he hears a “cough” “cough” and a wheeze. He turns around, as Timmy sits up. “Dad?” Timmy says confused. Timmy's father rushes over and hugs his son. Tears streaming down both of their faces. “Son, I thought I lost you”. “I know I was never there for you when you were a kid, but thats because I had to work extra after your mother and I divorced. I wanted to spend time with you so badly, it hurt me”. “Timmy sits back down quickly eyes scrunched and teeth clenched. “Timmy?” His father says concerned. Timmy struggles to open his eyes, he opens his mouth to speak but no words come out. “Dad-” Timmy manages to get out, “Yes, what…What son? Timmy! TIMMY!” his father cries. “I-” Timmy says. His father is tense with anticipation. He runs to check where they were in space, and seeing they were a thousand miles from Earth, he runs back to Timmy. “Dad I-” Timmy looks up at his dad with soft eyes, “I forgive you”. His eyes flutter shut as he smiles peacefully, returning to the dead once again. His father kneels down and softly crys. Approaching the Earth at fifty miles away, Timmy's father has completely forgotten about checking on the status of the landing. Emotions raging through him, he screams like a maniac. “Come back, Timmy”, he sobs. “COME BACK!” yelling through bitter tears. 

Ten miles approach and the rocket is blazing towards the earth. People stare up at this phenomenon wondering what is happening. 

The Rocket crashes into a field in Kansas. 

GAME OVER

”Timmy! Turn that game off now” Timmy's mother says. “Oh alright, alright,” Timmy says with a sigh. 


March 28, 2024 16:28

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

20 comments

Darvico Ulmeli
14:49 Mar 29, 2024

Very nice. Very emotional. Loved. Had those dreams when I was a kid. A lot of them. I wrote them in my stories. So I don't forget when I grow up. Still waiting to grow up. Nicely done.

Reply

D H
16:14 Mar 29, 2024

Well-spoken words from a well-spoken writer

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Alexis Araneta
09:32 Mar 29, 2024

Oooh, adorable one ! Welcome to Reedsy ! Lovely work here.

Reply

D H
12:43 Mar 29, 2024

Thanks!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Brian Haddad
23:37 Mar 28, 2024

I agree with the other commenters. There is definitely a great storyteller inside of you. Learning to do effective editing happens in stages, one step at a time. I don't always feel like my stories are very well polished, but I'm usually happy with the base story I am trying to tell, and you have done a great job with that as well. Here are a couple of small editing tips to get you started with the basics: 1. Most readers expect that all dialog in a paragraph comes from the same character. If a different character is speaking, you should c...

Reply

D H
23:57 Mar 28, 2024

Thanks for the feedback, your an og, thanks bro.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Trudy Jas
23:08 Mar 28, 2024

Great story. Love the child's voice. And welcome to Reedsy

Reply

D H
23:12 Mar 28, 2024

Thanks :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Annie Hewitt
22:51 Mar 28, 2024

Great job! You say you're not a writer. I disagree. There's lots of good stuff here. Keep working on it. Editing is the most important part of writing. Good luck!

Reply

D H
23:05 Mar 28, 2024

Thank you so much, I appreciate it. Once I start a story I can't stop haha. It is also hard for me to decide on one path for the story to go when there are endless possibilities. But, that's the fun of writing and creativity.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Tommy Goround
21:38 Mar 28, 2024

(Spoiler) A 32-year-old homeless man is Sent to the Moon because no one cares if he dies. [Insert international backstory why we have to keep sending animals or people to the Moon. ] {Good job on introducing a kid character that was remarkably interesting. Dreams sequences = false narrator and harm flow of story} While on the moon, Timmy suffocates in his own helmet because there was no one to help him. Just like on Earth Timmy is all alone. Then BOOM…in an international effort to save humans stranded in space (it becomes a dare from th...

Reply

D H
21:55 Mar 28, 2024

Wow...Incredible feedback, thank you. I think you should have written this story lol.

Reply

Tommy Goround
19:59 Mar 29, 2024

Hold on now. This is your story with extras cut-away (the mom and video games and dreams)... The elements you already have are highlighted. The theme is magnified. There is nothing really from me in.the edit. It is the natural progression of your story. A good story. You have about six hours to edit if you want.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Kristi Gott
18:29 Mar 28, 2024

I enjoyed this whimsical space video game story. It is very imaginative and I liked the main character, Timmy. Well done!

Reply

D H
18:32 Mar 28, 2024

Thanks so much!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Martin Ross
18:08 Mar 28, 2024

Delightful story! Love to see this illustrated! Welcome to Reedsy, and I look forward to seeing more!

Reply

D H
18:11 Mar 28, 2024

Thanks I appreciate it!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Mary Bendickson
17:19 Mar 28, 2024

Oh, the imagination of a child!🤗 Thanks for the follow and welcome to Reedsy. Have fun and read to be read.

Reply

D H
18:11 Mar 28, 2024

Thanks! I will be reading.. a lot. This is a good use for free time, instead of YouTube or TikTok, I can learn a lot here.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
D H
23:13 Mar 28, 2024

Here is an updated version

Reply

Show 0 replies
RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.