The Waterfall

Oh, now they tell us. If I knew it was going to be this hot I would have waited to go on vacation. Now I’m way up here on this mountain and it’s damn near 110°. I didn’t hear anything about a heat wave coming when I was planning this thing. What the hell!

I guess what the hell is right. It’s too hot. I got to tell you I’m not ready for this. I expected at this altitude there would be a cool breeze. It shouldn’t be scorching. But it is. It’ll be brutal to trek down the mountain. The shade of the trees will be no help. 

And the temperature is supposed to rise as the week goes along. If I go down this mountain and faint or injure myself they may not find me for fifty years. I got to tell you I thought summer was supposed to be over.

Everybody did. The cities and small towns must be catching it. God must have been looking out for me. I bought this new cooler that keeps food good for weeks. The ice won’t melt. The food stays fresh. I could wait it out. I will definitely survive. 

No point in building a fire. But then there is. I will. No not really. I have these lamps. Solar lamps. I forgot I had them. I bought them about a year ago and stashed them in my equipment. I can just place these around my camp. I need to do it now to make the most of the daylight I have left. 

If I nod off I could wake up in the dead of night with nothing set up. No tent. Unorganized. Wildlife on the attack. Rain and wind blustering and buffing. My would be camp tossed and trashed by the weather and then a heat filled exhausting day fixing it all up. 

Now that would be a way to start a vacation. It would be over before it started. Wouldn’t that be crazy? I could starve or be blown off this mountain. I must be an idiot to come up here in a heatwave. A heatwave where it’s ten and might be twelve degrees hotter than the normal. It usually hits 100° to 103° for a high three or four days, but nothing hotter.

I thought I was skirting the high temperatures by waiting until the end of summer. With the season drifting into the fall, I thought I was safe from possible heat stroke. It’s sweltering, smoking. I might catch fire in the next moment.

There is no breeze. You believe this. No breeze this high up in these mountains. Not one iota. I’m getting light headed. Starting to see stars. I told you I might stumble and fall off a cliff if I don’t get my wits about me.

Okay. Let’s see. What was I was supposed to do first? What to do? What to do? What to do? Get organized. Okay. Set up camp. Set up camp where? This is not where I settled on. This is not the spot I was a few minutes ago. Or is it? 

Listen?

Excuse me? 

Listen? 

I don’t have time to listen. And don’t interrupt me. I’m trying to think.

Calm down, relax, and think. 

Will you stop talking? Who am I talking to? Myself of course because there’s no one else here. 

What? No I will not calm down. Shut the hell up already.

Okay. I’m going to take a few items. I’m going back to the spot I had when I arrived. 

Wait. 

No, you wait. 

I told you I need to think. I said clearly I need to get organized. I will make it through this heat wave with or without your help. And I prefer without. Leave me alone. You get it. I can put it no clearer than that. Understand. Get it, got it, good. Okay. Where am I? If I remember right I made a left at this tree. And up here there should be a trail. No trail here. 

There never was a trail. 

Shut up. There is a trail here somewhere. I just need to keep walking. I know where I’m going, alright. If you would just leave it alone. Leave me alone. See, here it is. There’s a nice spot across from the waterfall. I remember. I should hear the water rushing in a moment. Just a little farther. 

You’re not on a trail. Where are you going? Go back. 

I’ll go back and get more stuff after I cross this clearing. And who are you?

I’m you. You’re losing touch. You’re getting farther and farther away from your supplies. This is not the way you came when you arrived. You’re stumbling and dehydrated. You dropped the water bottle. Go back and get it. 

The waterfall is right up here. I hear it. I’ll go back and get the bottle in a minute.

No. Stop. Go back, get your stuff. This is a good place right here. 

No. I need to be near the waterfall.

You are near the waterfall. What am I saying? There is no waterfall. I’m seeing the mirage like you. We’re in trouble. Neither of us can differentiate. What’s real, what’s an illusion. I don’t think I have much time left. I’m blending with you. I’m starting to hear the waterfall. I’m starting to see the trail. Neither are here. 

Will you stop talking? I can’t hear myself think. What is your problem? 

I am your thinking. You just won’t listen. You’re going to get us killed. You’re delirious, chasing things you think you see. Drifting toward things you think you hear. I can no longer help you unless you turn back.

The waterfall is just ahead. Don’t you see? Just a little farther. And stop griping. We’re not going to die. 

We are if you don’t stop. Don’t you understand? I’m your subconscious. I can’t tackle you.

No, don’t jump! There’s no water down there!