You check the time. Perfect. As intended, you've arrived fashionably late. After all, you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard. This is the first time you have ever been invited to a party and after running an algorithm, you've found out that being on time is not the way to go. When you pull up your Mom gives you a smile and a thumbs up. You just sigh. You get out of the car and inspect the house in which the party is. You can tell the car parked in front of it is a Kia from the year 2000. The house looks to be just built. You decide it's time to go in. When you ring the doorbell a lady, looking to be about in her 30's answers. You realize that she must be Ricky's Mom. You put your hand out for her to shake and she does, timidly. You push past her and into the house. You don't even look around before turning into a hall and opening the door to what must be Ricky's room. He's in there with 5 boys surrounding him. I can't see what they are all looking at. Ricky looks up and says, "Hey, look who it is. Autism boy!!", the other boys look up and start laughing. You feel tears in your eyes but are determined not to cry and to have a good time. Sure it's a rough start but there is still a chance you can turn it around. "Hi!", I say smiling. Mom says that people like when you smile. She says it is a sign of happiness. “Hey!”, Ricky says. “Why’d you invite him?”, Ricky’s friend Jackson asks. “I thought it would be entertaining to have autism boy at my party!”, Ricky replies. “Maybe he’ll have one of those huge breakdowns and we get to watch him!”, a girl I don’t recognize says. Everyone else nods and smiles. I just can’t anymore. I ran out. I’m surprised to see Mom’s car there. I should have known she’d stay. I am both relieved and annoyed. I get in the car. “Drive.”, I say bluntly. “Oh, honey. What happened?”she asks. “Now.” My mom sighs and starts the car. I watch the houses pass by. We drive in silence. Finally when we get home, I jump out of the car, fly inside, and go to my room. I slam the door. Mom hates when I slam the door, but right now I don’t really care what she thinks. I jump on my bed and cry. I hear whispering outside of my door. It always gets me so mad when my parents try to help. I wish that they could just get that they can’t. They can’t now and they never will be able to. I will always have something wrong with my brain. I know that they wish I wasn’t their child. They wish that they had a normal little boy. They always say they love me how I am, but parents just have to say that. The next day, Dad and I were supposed to go to the park at 1:00. I had sort of gotten over Ricky and was so excited to go to the park. Then, Dad got called to a last minute work meeting. Mom had a doctors appointment, so she couldn’t take me. I got so mad. Why would they tell me we were going to the park if we were not? They got my hopes up, got me excited, then bailed. I had a breakdown and started yelling at them. We didn’t end up going to the park, and I was in a bad mood for the rest of the day. The next day was school. I hated school. I had exactly 6 reasons to hate school, I even had a list.
- I have exactly 0 friends.
- I don’t get social cues.
- Everybody always makes fun of me.
- The teachers think I’m dumb.
- People talk about me behind my back.
- Work is too easy.
- Nobody ever talks to me.
My parents said I have to go to school, though. They always say education is sooooo important, but what if I already know everything? I’m already smarter than most college students.
Every morning I have the same routine. Get up, brush my teeth with my green toothbrush for exactly two minutes. Get dressed. Go to the kitchen. Eat my eggs from the purple frying pan and eat 10 apple slices. Then, my parents drive me to school. At school, I go to my class, and sit at my desk silently while everybody else in the class banters. I have no one to talk to, so I sit alone. I prefer to be alone, but I also like to fit in. Obviously I don’t. I wish I did. Finally, when the bell rings, Mr. Smith comes in. He tells us all to sit down and teaches a lesson on mathematics. It was so easy. Classes went like that until lunchtime. Lunch is the worst part of the day. I sit at a table by myself while it feels like everyone around me is talking about me. They may not be, but it feels like it. Everybody else is sitting with their friends, and talking and laughing. When lunchtime is over class progresses until the end of the day when Mom picks me up. She obsessively questions me about my day until we get home where I go to my room and play with my Legos. Then, after a while, Mom calls me to dinner where we eat as a family. After dinner and homework, I have exactly one hour and thirty minutes of screen time before I read then go to bed. Hen, the next morning I wake up and life goes on. Life is always the same with a bump in the road every one in a while. It’s hard but I always get through it. I don’t usually admit it but it’s mostly my parents who help me. Some things about them are really annoying, but we get past them and I love them so much.
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