Espen's Enigma

It could happen to anyone right? Reality become distorted. Or no maybe just to me. I feel like I fell down the rabbit hole. Do you have a few minutes? Can I tell you what happened to me the other day?

My name is Espen by the way. What's yours?

So the other day I woke up feeling disoriented. I blinked several times and shook my head to clear the fog. I looked at my damp and tangled bed sheets and realized that I had dreamed. How many times was it now, five, no six times now the same dream. It was weird.

I rubbed my eyes; still blurry with sleep and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I grabbed my phone to check the time. 6:43 a.m. "Damn!," I spat.

I was annoyed because I lost seventeen minutes of sleep. You see my alarm is always set for 7 a.m. Once I wake up that's it. I am up.

Oh well, I thought, I may as well get up and start getting ready for work. I pushed up off my bed and made my way to the bathroom.

I remember it was Thursday; because Thursdays are when I had to make my weekly run to DKB to drop off revenu deposits for my boss Oliver. Oliver refuses to digital bank; thus my weekly deposit runs to DKB.

I went about my day as usual; and before I knew it Oliver was bringing me the 'Pelican'.

Oliver uses the 'Pelican' as a bank bag; but

it's actually a case made specifically to keep laptops safe.

At 4 p.m. the deposit drop-off had been made and I was headed back to work.

It was very cold that day so I was walking fast, head tucked down, shoulders hunched, a gloved hand tightly gripping closed the collar of my coat. I had forgotten my scarf. I left it on the counter when I stopped to put food in Popo's bowl. Popo is my cat.

So anyway I'm walking and someone steps directly in my path. I said, "Excuse me", and moved to the left. They also moved to the left. So I moved back to the right so did they; blocking my path still.

I looked up to see a rather peculiar man. He looked like a mash-up between Dennis Rodman and Liberace. He wore aviator goggles, had a gold sequinned scarf wrapped around his neck, a purple and black top hat tilted to the side, and a salmon colored tuxedo. On his right hand he wore three rings. The left hand had just a pinky ring. Laying against his chest was a thick gold herringbone chain. Black Air Force 1's on his feet finished off his odd look. He looked like a confused circus ring master.

He hands me what looks like a wooden cigar box. He instructs me to choose an envelope and a key from inside. I opened the box to see two envelopes and two keys laying atop a red satin cloth.

I stared from the open box to the man and then back to the box again.

What is this? Some kind of prank. I think to myself. I start looking all around me for a hidden camera crew sure that I was being filmed at the very moment. Was I about to be Punk'd? No way; that show had been off the air for ages right?

The man cleared his throat to get my attention and tells me time is of the essence and that it is imperative that I make a choice of one envelope and one key.

Imperative?! Didn't that mean something was a must?

I have to admit my curiosity was stirring up a bit. I had questions...who, what, where, why, is....., however, before I could put my rambling thoughts into some kind of coherent sentence; the man raised his jeweled hand up and says; all questions would be answered once I made a choice and accepted the task.

I raised my eyebrows and licked my lips. This was unreal. The man raised his eyebrows as if to say, 'indeed....truth is usually stranger than fiction'.

What the heck I thought. YOLO! right?; I considered playing eenie meenie minee mo for a brief moment; but instead shrugged my shoulders and pluck the envelope and key from the right side of the box.

The man smiled magnanimously and curtly took the box from me. He doled out further instructions that I should read the contents of the envelope and do exactly what was written without leaving out a step. He said I had two hours and fifteen minutes to complete the task.

Completely intrigued at this point; I forgot all about the cold. My adrenaline was kicking in.

I looked up from the envelope to tell the man I accept; but he was gone, he was nowhere in sight, just disappeared into thin air.

Ohhhkayyy weird, strange, and bizarre I thought as I carefully opened the envelope making sure not to tear it.

I removed an ivory colored card that held printed instructions and an address located at the top of the card.

It read.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gartenstrasse 37 10117

1. Enter the building through the revolving door into the lobby.

2. Walk to the elevator located to your left and take it to the seventeenth floor.

3. Go to your right when you exit the elevator and walk to the end of the hallway.

4. When you reach the end of the hallway there will be two doors labeled A. & B.

5. You must choose which door you will enter. After choosing you will use the key to unlock the door and enter inside.

6. If the key does not open the door you must return to the ground floor, exit into the lobby look for the security room; and say to the attendant the following words: 'Cartons up I-bons down who will be next to wear the crown'. Where upon a new key will be given to you.

7. GO! Your wasting time.

I glanced at my watch. It was 4:15. Ok bet. I had until 6:30 before time ran out.

I began calculating in my head. If I grab the S7 on the S-Bahn it would take me all the way over to Hauptstrasse Station. Then I'd have to book it up to street level; find a taxi and take it two miles to Gartenstrasse 37 10117.

I check my watch again 4:17. I turn and move towards the S-Bahn. If I was fortunate enough to catch the 4:31 S7 then it would take me 54 minutes total to reach Gartenstrasse 37 10117.

I dialed it up a notch from my regular stride to a speed walk. I reached the S7 with two minutes to spare. As I enter the rail the automated message plays, 'Next stop Kurfurstendamm Station', the whoosh of the automated doors sound as they closed behind me.

Making my way towards the front; I look for an empty window seat. My phone vibrates in my pocket. I take a look and see that it is Brice texting me telling me that his wife's cousin Kalista would be coming with to Zaddy's later.

Aww man I groan. Zaddy's shoot. Zaddy's is this Turkish kebab shop over on Kurfurstendamm. Oh you know the spot? Good food right?

Well I had plans to go there after work for a Doner kebab and a Club-Mate and meet up with some friends.

Brice would be texting me calling me a flake when I don't show up.

He'll think I don't want to hang with his wife's cousin. Even though that's true it wouldn't be the reason why I was a no-show.

Kalista is cool and everything but I am not interested. Kalista is not bad looking; but she smokes and talks too much.

I finally spot a window seat and sit down next to a grungy skater dude.

We chin-up nod to each other and I settle in for the rail ride.

I pull out the envelope; and remove the card reading the instructions again and finger the key wondering which door to choose A. or B.

I am very curious to know if I had the right key to open whichever door I chose.

I rub my hand back and forth over the top of my head rolling my eyes up to the top of the rail car ....which door? which door?.....which door?.... I agonize.

Let's say after I chose a door and the key works to open the door then what? You understand what I'm saying?

What in the heck was I getting myself into? I wondered.

It is the weirdest, craziest, thing I've ever done. I couldn't explain it though; something was driving me. I felt compelled to choose a door, open it, and enter inside to see what happened next.

Like what if I found a lottery ticket with the winning #'s on it. Whooo! Hooo!

What if I get to meet Kevin Hart (yo that guy is funny) and he ask me to be in his next movie.

I feel myself grinning like an idiot but then in the next instant my grin's gone; replaced with a frown

Paranoia creeps up. What if this is some type of culling for a human trafficking ring. I sniggered a bit at the thought. "Whoever" would be highly pissed.

I have a condition called Genophobia. Genophobia is the fear of sexual intercourse. Yes it's real. I should know. It's my affliction isn't it? I don't flirt or explore dating because I seriously flip out faced with the prospect of going beyond the hugging, cuddling, and kissing stage. They would never get the desired results from me. 'They' have the wrong guy for a 'lot lizzard' I thought.

Ok busted. Now you know the real reason I didn't want to hang out with Kalista. What if she wanted to hook-up?

Or uhm...what if it's one of those extreme games that are so popular these days. Ya know the ones that mess with your mind; by putting you in the most hellacious situations with no hope for a way out. Then you're yanked out at the last minute when you are about to go full on bullistic, meltdown, mode.

Ok ok enough I tell myself. I had to get a grip.

Skater dude gets off at the next stop and someone's oma sits down next to me...complete with reading glasses attached to a chain, sensible shoes, and a knitting bag. She made me miss my own oma.

I check my watch again. I had only five more stops before reaching Hauptstrasse Station. I close my eyes and lay back against the seat.

I think about texting my mom, but, she's a mom and she would start nagging; telling me to get my butt off the rail and get back to work immediately.

Which makes me think about my job. I hoped I didn't get written up because I didn't come back to finish my shift.

And then there's my 'Little Tykes' fussball team that I coach. Who would replace me if I didn't come back?

'Next stop Hauptstrasse Station' the automated message announced pulling me out of my revelry.

I sat on the edge of my seat and checked my watch it was 4:42.

When the rail came to a stop at Hauptstrasse Station I moved out of the rail and entered into the throng of rushing commuters. Walking fast I slid by and pushed my way up the steps to street level.

Now to find a taxifahrer. I scanned the street rght and left and; bingo there was one coming my way stopping right in front of me to drop off a fare.

I jumped in and told the guy to get me to Gartenstrasse 37 10117 ASAP!

Five minutes later I was standing in front of the Upper West. I looked up at the 33 story skyscraper and blew out a resigned breath. I then entered the building through the revolving doors.

I found myself walking on a polished patterned tile floor that led me into a hotel lobby.

You're not going to believe me, but seriously, I tell you no lie.

I didnt know how, but yet, I just knew that to my right would be a water fountain that looked like sheets of glass with white, hanging, globe shaped lights behind it. On my left would be elevators and a outdoor style cafe nicely decorated with side walk tables and Scandinavian chairs. A short distance past the cafe a security station. Straight ahead of me double staircases leading up to the 2nd floor where the reception desk was located.

I was astonished and bewildered. It was if I had personally drawn up the blueprints for this building myself.

What was going on?! How in the world did I know these things? A very strong wave of familiarity washed over me. Like I had been here before; even though it was my first time ever laying eyes on the place.

Then it hit me, the dream. Remember I told you that I had been having this dream. That's how I knew this place; from the recurring dream I'd been having the past few nights.

I had never had a panic attack before; but I think the way I was feeling was very close to it. I was sweating, my mouth felt very dry like someone dumped a cup of sand in it. My head started to spin, my heart was hammering inside my chest. I felt shaky and disoriented.

I needed to sit down and breath. I made it to one of the chairs at the cafe and put my head down between my knees. I began to inhale slow deep breaths and exhale in the same way. After a few minutes I started to feel more like myself again. I looked at my watch it read 4:55. Ok cool. I still had plenty of time. I stood up making sure my legs would support me and headed to the elevators. I punched the up button and waited.

After a minute or so the elevator doors opened and I slipped inside. There was a middle aged man and his two teen-aged kids next to him. They were having an intense conversation. I didn't know what they were saying; but there is an universal understanding of kids begging their parents in any language being spoken. There was also a guy with a food delivery bag. He was checking the receipt stapled to the bag, probably re-checking what floor and room # he was supposed to be delivering to.

I pressed floor seventeen. On floor six the dad and teen-agers got off. On floor thirteen the delivery guy got off leaving me alone on the elevator .

I watched the floors light up on the console as the elevator continued to rise. Floor fourteen, floor fifteen, floor sixteen, floor seventeen ding!

Here we go I thought and stepped out of the elevator into the hallway.

As I neared the end of the hallway I could see two doors labled A. and B. in bold, black, block lettering. I stood in front of the two doors nervous but determined.

I pulled the key out my pocket. It was time to choose a door and use the key to open it; but which door?

I really wished I had a phone-a-friend or ask- the-audience option right then. I grip the key tightly and move towards door A. I pause. What if door B. is the better choice? Arghhhh. I felt like I was going crazy.

I decided and chose door B. Eenie meenie minee mo comes in handy sometimes ya know?

I put the key in the door knob and turn. Nothing; it doesn't unlock the door. I tried the key two more times before I accept that it won't open the door. I turn around and go back to the elevator.

Take a guess what happens next. In front of the elevator door is yellow caution tape and a orange hazard cone, a sign read.....

'Routine maintence service. Elevators will not be available for use for the next two hours. Please use the stairs to your right. Sorry for any inconvenience'.

"You have to be kidding me", I growled.

I take the steps to the ground floor and enter into the lobby. I go over to the security station where there is a pretty young lady sitting behind a plexiglass window. I notice a dial pad and intercom on the lower right side of the window. I press 0 as the directions indicate.

"Yes sir how may I help you", she asks with a friendly smile.

"Cartons up I-bons down who will be next to wear the crown", I reply.

"Right", she says crisply and opens a drawer in front of her then removes a key identical to the one I have.

"Sir please place your key in the tray". I do so and slide it toward her. She removes it and places the new key in the tray and slides it back to me.

I take the key and say thanks. She says you're welcome and gives me a wink. I smile and wink back.

I return to the steps. I am tired and hot by the time I get back to the seventeenth floor. I walk again to the end of the hallway and stand in front of door B. I place the key in the door knob and turn; the door opens.

As I start to enter a loud piercing Baahmmp, Baahmmp, Baahmmp, Baahmmp, sound assaults my ears. I snatch my hand back from the door and everything around me gets fuzzy and gray.

I grope around a bit. Finally my hand finds it. I hit dismiss on my phone alarm. It's 7 a.m.