True Feelings

Under the old and beautiful Flamboyant tree, in the umbrella of the night sky stood a hopeful Emiliano Queresma - his palms sweating with anxiety as he stood in front of his beloved Natasha Cruz, a fellow South American whose beauty was second to none in his eyes.  

There could be no one else for him, he believed - obsessing whatever she did or whatever little movements she made; whenever he could, he was watching. 

“Natasha…”

“Yes?”

“I’m in love with you, please go out with me!”

“...”

She looked a little flustered, but she also looked a little uninterested. It was not as if she ever took particular interest in him, sure they were friends - but that was all she saw him as.

“I only feel alive when I am with you, I wake up and go to sleep thinking about you.”

His thick dry lips quivered a little whenever he spoke, he was clearly trying to straighten up his voice. It was nerve-wracking, he had been thinking of this day ever since they met three years ago. 

It turned out scenarios played out in one’s head does not always equate to reality.

“...”

She kept her silence, standing still and upwards. Her posture was that of a fashion-model, well she was in fact training to make her debut in fashion. Emiliano was stunned, captivated to the point he nearly lost focus.

“I love how you’re so approachable, how you were comfortable with me when we first met. It was love at first sight, I swear.”

His brown-sharp eyes desperately wanted to look around, but he made sure to look at her. 

    “...”

    Again, silent and calm. She touched her silky and straight brown hair for a bit, looking down for a second. 

    He agonized for a response, but she continued to stay silent. He’d never seen her so silent, she was usually the life of the party.

    “I- I dream of being your dream, you are who I wish to wake up to every single day.”

    “...”

    The word that ran through his head was pathetic, he thought of himself as only pathetic. It could not have gone any worse, he was expecting the worse to be rejection - but absolute silence was a tragic event of the highest degree.

    It looked hopeless, as grim as the reaper. Luckily for Emiliano no one was around, it was dinner time and he called her up for dinner. The Flamboyant tree shun by the park lights matched the gorgeousness of Natasha.

    She was gorgeous, she was dreamy. A slender body, facial features that would bless her future children - a dreamer’s jackpot. Emiliano would be the dreamer in this case, and it was not like he was bad looking either. He dressed decently, groomed himself decently, his messy black hair only matched his masculine looking face.

    “Because of you, I’m clean now! My addiction is gone because I wanted to become a man you could be proud of, a man that you would not mind holding hands with.”

    Her blue eyes largened a bit, she had no clue that he was even an addict. They were relatively close, close enough to invite each other out - but she never knew this about him.

    “...”

    “You changed my life, Natasha. You gave me my reason to live again,” Emiliano spread his arms out wide, a gesture of pure desperation. “All my motivation comes back to you, and I do not know what to do with myself anymore. I thought… I thought I could keep this in forever, but it is too difficult to suppress my feelings, it is too difficult to come to terms with a life with no answer.”

    Their eyes truly met for the first time that evening, a moment where the only focus was each other. No distractions nor excuses, he had her full attention now and he knew it.

    “...”

    “Your silence will only bring me more pain, Natasha. And the more pain that grows within me the more desperate and eager I become for an answer.”

    “Why me?” She finally responded, the way she looked at him was rather soft.

    “Because,” He looked at her even more intensely, “Because you are Natasha Cruz, the girl of my dreams. The girl with the most beauty on this Earth, inside and outside. The original reason for why somehow gets lost along the way, clouded by so many more why’s that come along the way.”

    This was the first time she had seen him so fixated on something, a surprise to her as she never felt as if he had romantic interest in her. Of course, she understood that many men lusted after and she felt that one of these men had to include Emiliano, but she never expected him to fall for her.

    On the contrary, he felt as if she had to have figured it out somewhere along the way in the time frame they knew each other. He was rather shocked that she seemed so surprised, and this silent and soft side was something he had never seen before.

    “For how long have you truly loved me, Emiliano?”

    “As I said, for as long as that fated day we met. You encapsulated me, your beauty brought serenity to my chaotic mind,” Emiliano relaxed, it was like the weight of three years worth of accumulating mass had been dropped off his shoulders. “Do not mistake me, I have never viewed you as a goal or an object. Never in my life shall I ever view you as that, instead my thoughts of you have led me to become a better person.”

    “What if I am not the woman you think I am, Emiliano?”

    Of course, this thought had crossed his mind. Everybody has their own secrets, everybody has their own view of what they want to portray themselves as, even if it contradicts who they really are. He did not care for such thoughts, if he were to get close to her and reveal a side he had not known about her - so be it! He wanted to know everything about her, he was trapped within her unknowing grasp.

    “That does not matter, discovering the secrets and mysteries you have are a part of the life I want to live. A life with you, a lovely life.”

    Even after all was said, from an outsider’s point of view it truly looked like a one-sided confession. Her eyes did not sparkle the same way as Emiliano’s did, instead it felt like they were quite shallow and dull - unfitting of her diamond eyes. 

    “Emiliano…”

    The tone of voice felt like doom for the young Emiliano, he quickly spoke before she had a chance to continue.

    “I’ll take you wherever you want! Paris, Madrid, Seoul, London - anywhere you want! I’ll give you anything you want too, you know I have the money for that. I’ll take you to the top of fashion, your dreams are my dreams.”

    It was total desperation.

    Her eyes finally sparkled disingenuously, a warm smile arose from her. It was as if she had finally heard the words she was waiting for.

    “I love you too, Emiliano.”