I am a primary school teacher and I have to say, this week I was very disappointed. My class is mediocre at best but there is one student who is really good at writing. Like, really good. Her name is Charlotte and she never uses incorrect punctuation, ever or spells a word wrong. Every time I read her work, I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster. I get that feeling when you’re reading a really good book where my stomach does flips. And to have everything immaculately written. It makes me very proud. However, one day after a writing task of what you did on the weekend, she made a mistake. My stomach dropped with disappointment though I don’t know why. But it was a really bad mistake because it was written on a poster, at the front, instructing use on commas. Her work is as follows:
This weekend was special as I went to my Grandmothers house. She is very fragile and old but sweet and always manages to run around with me. My dad was there, too. It was a special occasion. Father says that as Grandma is old, she also has a high risk of death. So, we decided that because if anything were to happen, we should have dinner with each other. After some running and playing, we sat down in the grass, talking as she braided my hair. My dad sat and listened, occasionally chiming in.
“You know I love you so much, Charlotte, don’t you?” she said. She sounded sad, pleading.
“Yes, Mama. I do love you.” She still looked concerned and I knew why. She was scared of death. The unknown and leaving everyone behind. Uncertainty and no more Wednesday bingo. So, we sat there, I grinning up at her and her looking down with pleading, sorrowful eyes. The sun set, painting the sky with colours that blended so well.
“I love you to the moon and back, as much as the farthest galaxies and as much as the many blades of grass grow.” I merely nodded, grinning. Finally, she looked the saddest so far.
I look to my Grandma and father, smiling.
“Let’s go eat Grandma.” I say and we walk inside for a feast.
The error here is ‘”Let’s go eat Grandma.”’ At the front a poster instructs the use of commas. This is the example as it should read ‘Let’s go eat, Grandma.’ One implying feasting upon your grandmother, the other that you will eat with her. It is the exact sentence and I’m so displeased. When the work is handed back and I give back the feedback, I talk to Charlotte.
“This work is really good, dear, but there is one error.” I point at the work. “It’s meant to be ‘Let’s go eat, Grandma,’ not, ‘Let’s go eat Grandma.’ One implies you wish to eat your Grandmother while the other to eat with her. Other than that, it’s really good.” She looks at me, confused, as if she wished to eat her elderly. But she merely nods and walks out. This could have been settled and left alone for eternity, but something was off. Charlotte would never make a mistake as silly as this. I might have been able to forget, if not for the fact that I was then invited to her Grandmothers funeral. Apparently, she had died some time on the weekend. It was this that lead me to be suspicious. ‘Don’t be silly,’ I scolded myself. ‘You’ve been watching to many horror movies. People don’t eat people, especially not little girls. You don’t even know what the cause of death was.’ But something still wasn’t sitting right. At the funeral, I sat and listened to the sermons and was invited to give my condolences. After, at the after party, I snuck away while everyone was a bit tipsy, to see the coffin and put my mind at ease. However, that was the last thing that happened when I found the coffin full of half an eaten body. Everything felt cold and shivers ran down my spine. I’m crazy, I think. ‘Seeing things.’ But I am sober. And everything is confirmed when Charlotte and her father walk in. I quickly slip the lid back on after I hear steps and turn to see my prized pupil.
“Ah, Joseline. You must be Charlottes teacher,” her father says. He is a nice man, well dressed with mousse brown hair, slicked back for the occasion. Charlotte is in a small, black dress with little white flowers and pigtails. She is very cute. Deceitful.
“Yes, that’s me. I’m so sorry for your loss, I thought I’d come give my prayers to your dear departed.”
“Yes, that’s very nice. She will be dearly missed. But do you mind giving us a couple minutes alone? You know, to say final good byes?”
“I understand. By your daughters writing of the weekend lunch you had with her, it was obvious she was loved.” His eyes quickly flick down to his daughter but not too noticeably.
“She was dear. Please enjoy the refreshments and food.” And with that, I left. Or so her thought. I know you may be thinking “Joseline, don’t spy on those poor people, leave them alone,” and I know your thinking it, because it’s what went through my head. But I just had too stay. And I have to say, I’m not pleased with what I found. The father and daughter duo began to eat the rest of the remains, silently and extremely cleanly. I panic and quake, but I can’t tear my eyes away. After they finish, I snap out of my trance. Run, I think. Run. And run I do. Silently, fast and not looking back. Sometimes I hate it when I’m right. However, after that sight, I never told anyone. Why not you may ask? I thought if I did, and somehow people believed me, they would know. They would know and find me. And I’d be next.
So, dear reader, this is how I found out that my star student was that, my star student. Charlotte never spelled words wrong, always had wonderful writing, impressed me with her pencil. And never forgot punctuation.
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1 comment
Hi there, What a great way to get the word out there about punctuation, and the 'suggestions' for writing. I did find a few grammatical errors - for instance, punctuation indicating possession - grandmother's was missing the apostrophe. I always suggest a good style guide to help with remembering the 'rules of the writing road.' I love 'Elements of Style,' and I recommend it to my students all the time. Thank you for sharing your story.
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