one bit trick, one part crime

April 5th, 2020

Dear sweetest Diary,

I write to you on this fine evening to let you know of my intent to win next year’s competition. Indeed, on April 1st, 2021, I will pull off the grandest trick of them all. The illustrious god of trickery, Dolos, will have no choice but to name me high king of tricks, and I shall accept this title with the greatest of honor. At last, all my dreams will come true. I will have this mortal world at the tippy top of my little fingertips. How wonderous it will feel, as the mortals and gods alike bow down to my deceit. Indubitably, Dolos himself will recognize my skill and perhaps even give me a right-hand seat at his throne. To think, all these years they’ve thought me some pitiful demigod, incapable of rendering the simplest of tricks. Oh, to see their faces on the day of my reckoning. It shall be almost as great a prize as my winning of the title itself.

June 1st, 2020

Dear wistful Diary,

The days pass on relentlessly so, at an agonizing pace. But alas, this trick of mine requires a careful hand in planning. I must not rush things nor get too excited; though that is hard to do, mind you. Simply the thought of being rid of this awful place gets my cheeks tense with glee. I don’t belong here after all, on this Earth I mean. No, my destiny awaits me in a different realm. Enough of that for now, though, let’s get back to the reason I’m writing: my big trick. Hmm, perhaps I’ll come up with a far grander name later, but no matter. Planning is already going quite swimmingly if I do say so myself; and I do. In this short stint, I’ve already collected several of the materials I require to pull this off. And the people here are none the wiser. Ah, humans, such insignificantly foolish creatures.

August 1st, 2020

Dear inquisitive Diary,

Such as a good plan takes time, so does that of weaseling my way into a person’s head. Deceit is a fickle game after all. One not so easily done by those less cunning than I. Although, not to recant my previous statement, some humans are actually quite easily fooled. So, here I am, laying down the framework for my brilliant plan when I realize how truly farcical it would be for me to bring this plan to fruition all by my lonesome. There’s nothing in the rules, after all, stating that a demigod can’t partake in using humans to do his biddings. In fact, I dare say the greatest tricks of all time have done just that! With that in mind, I went about and distinguished several candidates ripe for my using; and, wouldn't you know, a few of them are already under my spell! Yes, yes, oh how exciting... but there’s always more to be done, isn’t there? So, off to work for me. Until next time, Diary.

October 1st, 2020

Dear evocative Diary,

As you may presume, all is going according to plan. And what a plan it is. I figured, however, given the circumstances, that I’d take this time to divert from talk of my tricks and share with you some background on the trickster. That is me, of course. And god knows, ha, that we don’t need to spend long on the subject, we’ll have plenty of time to delve into my past later. But just a quick note, I figured, would suit us well. Everyone will be talking about me anyway, you see, so I wanted this to come straight from the horse’s mouth. For, if I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t choose this path. And that is important for you to know, well because, that’s what everyone says—or at least thinks—of men like me. Why didn’t he just choose a different path? He didn’t have to do those things. He made his choices. But... that’s the thing about growing up with a dad like Dolos. In some sense, my path was set before me at a very early age. So maybe I could have been different; but then again, maybe not. Nonetheless, here we are. And while many of you mortals won’t have the slightest clue of the meanings of my ramblings, I know some of you will. Those whose parents are also Dolos. Or Deimos, or perhaps Lyssa, or Momus, or Pothos, or countless other gods alike. You’ll understand me. I hope.

December 1st, 2020

Dear cringey Diary,

A wrench in the plan. A terribly awful wrench. I have fallen in love. The beautiful red-head, whom I see every week. And she has taken to me as well. If it weren’t for my feelings for her, well then everything would be going to plan. For she is supposed to love me, but not I her. Indeed, I have enjoyed the fruits of my labor too much. I have been swept up in my own devices. And how foolish of me! Us gods are always falling in love with the mortals. I should have seen it coming. Oh well. It pains me so, naturally, because on the day of my legendary trick, she too will be foundeddumb like the rest. If only there were some way I could spare her. But alas, it is far too late. I could not choose another to act for her, as love does not bloom overnight. No, as you know, it started back in August. With a carefully placed wink here, and a devilishly handsome smile there. The first brush of our hands was magical. And yes, it was easy, but it took time. Time that I no longer have at my disposal. I couldn’t risk this trick, not even for her. So pressing on I will continue, cluing her in to only bits and parts of my plan. With a few parts missing and a few bits added, as you’d expect, to lead her right where I need her to be. Or rather, to give me what I need to have—the last few ingredients to my greatest trick of all. Thank you, my darling, in advance. It won’t be long now. 

February 1st, 2021  

Dear fairest Diary,

Everything is coming together. It’s only the minor details now, that need sorting. But just as the sun rises and sets, and people lie and steal, so my plan will come to fruition. The greatest trick of all time will be pulled off, the contest won, and the fame and glory mine. But I wouldn’t want to take all the applause for myself. No, that’s not like me. And in a thank-you speech, that’s what this is, those in the spot of honor give credit where credit is due. So thank you. Thank you all. And to my love, especially, for your heartbreak will be greatest. Oh, yes, and to the many others who helped me pull off this trick, don’t worry, I’ll leave a list of all of your names in the appendix. Credit where credit is due. 

April 1st, 2021

Dear boastful Diary,

At long last, today is the day. Wish me luck…

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BREAKING NEWS: 

APRIL 5TH, 2021

DIARY FOUND OF CRIMINAL WHO ‘DISAPPEARED’ FROM FLORIDA STATE PENITENTIARY AND INSANE ASYLUM ON APRIL 1ST, 2021, CLAIMING TO BE A DEMIGOD OF TRICKERY.

THE ONLY CLUE ON HOW HE DID IT? A SCRAP OF METAL, PULLED OUT FROM A FELLOW INMATE’S APPENDIX. ETCHED INTO IT, THE NAMES OF SEVERAL DOCTORS, GUARDS, AND OTHER VARIOUS EMPLOYEES OF THE FACILITY.

THOSE WHOSE NAMES WERE LISTED ON THE PIECE OF METAL ARE NOW BEING BROUGHT IN FOR QUESTIONING, BUT HAVE SO FAR DENIED ANY ACTION IN THE AIDING AND ABETTING OF SAID CRIMINAL.