Dear diary

October 19th 2010

Dear diary, 

Watching the sunrise in the morning with my mom always made my day. Even if it were tough times we would go to the lake and watch the sunrise every morning. I’d even be late to school but she nor I did care because that was all I needed to start my day. I’ve always been very close to mom. We have a special bond. A bond that kept us together. Some people used to say I super glued myself to her. I did one time though. I have so many great memories with her. But my favorite one was to watch the sunrise. I would get us at 6:00 am and get dressed for school which would take 20 minutes and we would take 10 steps from our house and be at the lake and 6:25 am when the sun would rise. We would stay there for half an hour then bike to school which is pretty far so I’d be late for english. My english teacher would yell at me and then get a call from the office that my mom forgot my lunch. This would happen everyday! But I was fine with it and so was my mom.

November 8th 2011

Dear diary 

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve last written to you or with you. I am just trying to focus on 7th grade. I still look at the sunrise with my mom everyday but now we are stronger so we bike faster to school which means I can be on time! My mom still always forgets my lunch to give me which is why now I can make my own lunch now. My mom’s seemed more down in the last year. I feel that me growing up makes her lonely or like I don’t need her anymore. But I do! I really do! When I get home from school I hug her everyday and talk to her for an hour about everything in school. When I’m talking to her she seems less interested. I don’t know what's gotten into her.

November 10th 2011

Dear Jacky's diary 

Hi it’s Jacky’s diary I was cleaning and found her diary. Jacky tells me everything so I don’t see it wrong for me to look at it. But clearly I was wrong. I don’t know everything. I had no idea she feels this way. Jacky I’m not less interested in you or feel less down. If it looks like I am you have to tell me darling. Also I’m sorry for snooping around in here.

November 11th 2011

Dear diary

I just read what my mom put in here. But I need to make this clear, MY MOM HAS BEEN DIFFERENT THIS YEAR!!! And it’s true, she has. But if you're worried that she will see what I wrote, fear not I put a lock on my diary! It’s the weekend so mom and I can spend the whole weekend together and talk this out. 

November 11th 2011 (after we talked)

Dear diary

Normally I report after a day or 2 and sometimes even more but I just had to tell you about the fight/talk. I told her that she was acting differently and guess what she told me. That I’m wrong. Oh wow how babyish. She didn’t even BACK HERSELF UP ALL SHE SAID WAS SHE WAS NOT ACTING DIFFERENTLY AND I AM SO ANGRY I WILL EXPLODE!!! ARGH.

December 15th 2011

Dear diary

Sorry I’ve been ignoring you. Yes my mom and I are fine now if you ask but now I have an even big problem. My-my teacher said I might stay back a year. 

*cry's 

I’m sorry for the tears on the page. I’m just very embarrassed. Mom doesn’t know yet. I don’t need to tell her if that's your case. I don’t need to. Okay!? Don’t get into it.

February 12th 2015

Dear whatever you call this old thing

So is this like uh a diary that I’m supposed to tell you how I’m feeling or something. I’m guessing the no answer is a yes. Last time I wrote here I was 12ish, maybe 13. I dunno. Well this is stupied. I was just a little kid back then and now I’m 16 almost 17. You know I’m bored so I’ll just write my fe-feelings. Ugh I hate that word. I still go see the sunrise in the morning with my mom and she’s my best friend. But she has been acting weird lately. Also if you want to know if I stayed back a year it’s a no! So that was great. But I assume you want to know more about my mom. I love her with all my heart but she has gotten weaker and the doctor says she shouldn’t go biking. But at home it’s nice to be with her. And going on walks. One last thing I gotta go don’t expect me to write in this in the next year or two.

August 7th 2019 

Dear diary!

I’ve gotten much brighter now that I finished college and am an adult. My mom and I go to the lake in the morning for hours now cause I don’t have to go to school! I work as a waitress at a fancy dinner restaurant. That means I have the whole morning with my mom and the rest of the afternoon also with my mom. My mom is so active at 59 soon to be 60. We're going to have a huge celebration for her birthday. For years now my mom has been not so well but she’s back to her old self. I truly believe it. She’s so happy and less tried. I make sure she has enough sleep and eats enough. I’ve been wanting to buy my own house but my mom won’t agree. She says every morning we need to have the same routine which is together. But I think she’s just scared of losing me. She also blames it on the lake that I can’t move. She says we need to go to the lake every morning. Well I got to go to breakfast. Good bye.

August 10th 2019

De-dear diary

Moms in the hospital. She collapsed. They say she is in a coma. I’m with her right now holding her hand. My eyes are full of tears. My whole diary full of memories of her is here. But she is still with me holding my hand. But I know she'll wake up. SHE HAS TOO! Remember what I said here, I need her. I-I need her. I feel empty inside. I feel sad, angry, mad, sad, sad, sad. There is no way to say how sad I feel. I feel depressed. What about all my plans with her. WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING!? CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!?

August 12th 2019

Dear diary

My mom is no longer with me. I’ve been very sorrow. I’m getting dressed to go to the lake but only this time by myself. My mom wasn’t there to say good morning and wasn’t there to say good afternoon nor good night. I spent the whole day at the lake and now it was night. The beautiful moon shining on water. The moon looked gray like me. Looked gloomy like me. Cheerless.. But in a way I would be ok. Even if my mother wasn’t actually holding my hand she was still next to me. Always. I took one last look at the lake. The moon was reflecting on it beautifully. If I looked at the moon well I could shape my mothers face looking down at me. She was smiling and looked happy. I smiled and a tear flew down my cheek and I told myself my mom and I are going to be just fine because she’s right there. 

Dear diary, My mother the moon