Second Chances and Pumpkin Pies

Matthew's eyes fluttered open at the sudden sound of the neighbor's barking, loudly. With a groan, he rolled over to grab his phone sitting on the nightstand. 6:17 AM. On Christmas Eve. Matthew always felt unrelenting stress around the holidays. The endless race against time, mixed with holiday cheer caused his anxiety to increase. Next door, the dog kept barking so Matthew peeked out the window to see what all the noise was about. There was the precious, yet obnoxious, Bentley staring at a cat sitting just out of reach from his leash. Matthew groaned again, deciding that since he was already awake, he might as well get last-minute shopping accomplished today.

Heading out to the shopping center, he braced himself for the holiday madness he was going to witness. As expected, the line at the coffee shop was no different. Sighing, he joined the line of those waiting for the seasonal coffee, hoping it would bring holiday cheer. Ahead of him was a woman with an energetic child who kept sticking their tongue out at Matthew. At first, Matthew ignored the child, but after five times he couldn't resist sticking his tongue out in return. The child squealed with laughter, causing the mother to glare at Matthew who shrugged in response. She turned her back to him in annoyance, he smirked while waiting for his turn to order as he also focused on the line.

As he walked up to the register, he ordered a "Toasted white chocolate latte, double shot of espresso" flatly, his tone matching his mood. The barista nodded quickly, pointing in the direction of where to wait without a word. Matthew joined the waiting crowd, standing near the child who was keeping entertained by making odd faces. Still full of energy, the child swung his arms aimlessly while waiting with his mother. The moment his drink was called, Matthew stepped forward just as the child's arm knocked the cup off the counter. Latte splattered across the floor in a sticky mess of foam and frustration. Matthew sighed while grabbing a napkin, knowing it was only right to clean up the mess before waiting in line again.

Latte finally in hand, Matthew walked through the stores in search of what to buy for his mother, father, and brother. He spent thirty minutes at a jeweler's looking at a dazzling bracelet before deciding on a pair of earrings for his mother. Unsure of what to get for the others, he called his mom. Answering after the first ring, his mother's cheerful tone cut through the holiday chaos. "Matthew!" she exclaimed "How are you? What are you up to" Sidestepped to avoid other shoppers, he replied, "Hey Mom" he started "I am trying to figure out what to get Dad and Justin for Christmas." His mother laughed on the other end of the phone. "Isn't it a little late for Christmas shopping?" she teased. "I put the pro in procrastination, you know that. But seriously, I need help." he looked around the plaza in exasperation, hoping to have a store stand out.

"I am excited to see you, I've missed you." His mom admitted.

"Yea, yea, of course you miss your favorite child." Matthew smiled.

"One of my favorite children."

"Well, you're my favorite mother."

"Oh, I bought two pumpkin pies this time."

Two pies? Really mom?"

"Yes, so we can skip that whole issue; you should talk to Emily about it."

"I'm not talking to her at all."

"You really should dear."

"I should not, you know why? Because she owes me an apology-"

6:17 AM. Matthew jolted awake at the sudden noise coming from the yard next to him. He rolled over, quickly, to check his phone. Christmas Eve. Matthew laid in bed, thinking about the dream he just awoke from, wondering how a dream could feel so real. Matthew looked outside to see Bentley sitting in the yard, barking at a cat who was sitting just out of reach. Shrugging, Matthew decided to tackle his last-minute Christmas shopping, hoping to feel less stressed than his dream.

Walking into the café, he joined the lengthy line, forcing a polite smile at a child who kept making faces at him. The child returned the smile with his own wicked grin while he knocked over the freshly prepared latte. Sighing as he cleaned up the sticky mess, Matthew waited in line again and was happy to leave with his replacement latte; a small victory. The bustling plaza was a festive chaotic site, making Matthew feel a little frazzled. He quickly purchased elegant earrings for his mother, which were gift-wrapped by the cashier. Looking around the store, a necklace caught his attention. On the silver chain, hung a gem, the exact color of pumpkin pie. Staring at the necklace, he thought of his sister with a smile. His happiness quickly turned into anger at the memory of their last conversation.

6:17 AM. Matthew opened his eyes, hearing Bentley yapping outside; knowing it was because he was looking at a cat. He reached for his phone, tangling himself in the sheets of his bed in the process, to see that it was Christmas Eve. Again. Matthew couldn't shrug off the feeling of Déjà vu while he looked around his room. Hoping to bury the feeling deep, he decided to get started on last-minute Christmas shopping.

Noticing the long line outside of the café at the plaza, he chose to skip his toasted white chocolate latte. He had an odd feeling that it was going to end up on the floor anyway. Instead, he scanned the storefronts, trying to see if there was a shop that would have an ideal gift for his father. His gaze settled on a heavy-duty clothing store, the same brand his father had worn for years. Striding in, he was focused on getting his father a new jacket since his work jackets were often reduced to threads. He decided on a light brown one, similar to the color of the latte he skipped. Feeling accomplished, he decided to revisit the idea of coffee since he was now craving a sweet win of caffeine to finish the shopping trip.

Carrying the paper bag in one hand, Matthew approached a small kiosk that specialized in personalized jewelry. He decided on a delicate flower-shaped pendant and with a resigned sigh, he asked the owner of the stand to engrave his siblings' names on the flowered necklace. He waited nearby, in silence while the engraver worked. Glancing around the shopping center, he considered looking for a different café to try. Doubt had him worried no one else would have a toasted white chocolate flavor, a taste his sister insisted he tried; and she was right, he loved it. Thoughts of his sister tugged at his mood. Frustration crept into his mind as memories of her annoying habits surfaced. She was always so persistent... so spoiled-

6:17 AM. Matthew sat up in bed, abruptly, to the familiar barking outside his window. He didn't bother reaching for his phone; he knew it was once again Christmas Eve. Throwing open his window, Matthew glared at the dog. "Look here you hell hound!" he called out "One of these days I will find a way to banish you into the abyss you crawled out of!" Bentley, unfazed, kept focused on the smug cat.

Slamming the window shut, Matthew laid back in bed to stare at the ceiling. Retracing the other Christmas Eves with the long lines, spilled coffees, and frustration; it all felt pointless. Then it hit him, maybe it wasn't about all the holiday hustle and bustle, it was about the intent. Forming a plan in his mind, Matthew decided he was going to buy gift cards on the way to his parents. Maybe this loop of holiday chaos was the universe telling him that he was making things too complicated.

Instead, rather than braving the holiday madness, Matthew decided to stay home, focus on work, and finish the quarterly reports. Possibly with a presentation attached in hopes of securing the promotion he was after. He wandered through his house, searching for where he had placed his work bag, eventually finding it hidden under the laundry he meant to do. After the tedious ritual of making his own latte, never quite the same as professional baristas, he sat on the couch to work with his laptop. Opening the laptop, he prepared to submerge himself with numbers, pie charts, and projections. For background noise, he flicked through channels, landing on a baking show. The type of show his sister would love, she always put on a cooking show when she arrived uninvited. She would then often wander into his small kitchen to bake whatever the show inspired her to do, always with weird toppings. Matthew questioned if that is where she got the idea to ruin the pumpkin pie with-

6:17 AM. Matthew held his eyes shut, wrapping the pillow over his ears to muffle the sound of Bentley barking next door. He didn't need to check his phone, he knew it was Christmas Eve again. He knew because he keeps waking up on this day after he thinks about his thoughtless sister-

6:17 AM. Matthew screamed into his pillow, drowning out the noise from the neighbor's dog. He sat upright, pillow clutched in his hand. His mind was racing, trying to piece together what caused the loop to start over and why he couldn't seem to get past Christmas Eve. Why does the day keep restarting? Why can't he escape Christmas Eve? "Emily" he muttered out loud, "of course it's Emily. She is always-" he stopped short, afraid to wake up on Christmas Eve, again. Outside the dog was still barking, oblivious to the turmoil happening next door. The clock read at 6:20 AM and Matthew wondered if he made progress and that is why time kept going. Groaning, getting out of bed he realized he needed to get through the day without thinking about his sister. Preparing to go shopping he told himself his goal was to remain positive through the day regardless of how frustrating he finds his youngest sibling and maybe, just maybe he can wake up on Christmas.

Standing in line at the coffee place, he happily smiled at the child before him. When the inevitable spillage happened, he cleaned it up patiently and waited in line again with forced calmness. Drink in hand, he headed into stores with the plan to purchase thoughtful gifts. He bought his mother a dazzling necklace, his father a sturdy jacket, and his brother a sleek portable blender. Staring at the shopping bags, preparing to leave, guilt crept into his thoughts. He shook his head, realizing that it was idiotic to leave his sister out of things. He sidestepped away from the crowd, pulling out his phone to call his sister. She answered on the first ring.

"Hey Mattie," she said, flatly.

"Hey Ems, you going to be at Mom and Dad's tomorrow?" He asked.

"Yes, of course, are you?"

"Of course, it's family tradition to play board games all night."

"Well yea, I just didn't think you would come since you got so mad about-"

"About you putting Cayenne on the whipped cream that sat on the pumpkin pie'?"

"Well yea, it's been months since we spoke."

Matthew started to chuckle, the sound deepening into a laugh, his chest shaking with each breath. He could not believe this was what he and his sister were fighting about, something so... trivial. He wiped tears from his eyes, smiling ear to ear. "I missed you Ems, I am so sorry for how stupid this was." he apologized. He could hear her smiling on the other end of the phone "I missed you too, but I wasn't going to be the one who called first." she admitted. Matthew smiled wider, realizing he missed his little sister and all of her weird quirks. He promised to see her tomorrow before wandering through the shopping center for a gift for his sister. Smiling, he found the perfect gift; a necklace with a pumpkin pie charm with a dollop of whipped cream.

That night, he went to bed excited and relieved. Prepared to wake up on Christmas Eve again but hopeful to open his eyes on Christmas Day instead. As he drifted off to sleep, Matthew was eager to see his family again, excited for the jokes, laughing, and competitive mannerisms of the family.

The next morning, Matthew opened his eyes, surprised by the silence. There was no barking. No chaos. He grabbed his phone, it was 8:20 AM on Christmas Day. He sat up in excitement, his heart racing. There was a text from his phone, from Emily stating that she was excited to see him and hopes to be the one who wins at charades. Matthew smiled, deeply and genuinely. He thought about how stupid their fight was, all the time wasted; but that was all behind them now. He wasn't going to let anything so trivial get in the way of spending time with the people he loved. Today, on Christmas, everything felt right.