Rocket Science

I look up again and try to collect my thoughts. The server is steadily losing her battle to hide her smirk. I don't blame her, choosing a meal in this place cannot be rocket science. There are basically two food groups, chicken and burgers and this place is not known for the latter. But instead of deciding if I should get my meal with chips or with pap my mind is swinging between wondering if I remembered to wipe the cornices or if I chose the right outfit. I know this is my Sunday best but I can't help going over my wardrobe again wondering if this is really the best I could do. Having the tight budget that I have to work with now and only one weekend a month to dress up, shopping hasn't been a priority for a while. But now I wish I had something with more character for this first meet. Because my job which is all I've known for the past year is certainly weak fodder for sparkling conversation.

I am of course grateful for my job. I sleep in which means I don't have to worry about rent. I do have to buy food though because even poor as I am once in a while I like to eat fresh meals not leftovers all the time which is what my boss provides. The nature of the job has me starving for connection though. Which is how I ended up in a seeking connections group online. I barely had time to actually give to chase something meaningful since living on the means I'm basically always on call. But this one man has been patient and when he said we should meet in person I didn't even have to think twice. So for the first time since I started working, I'm taking my off day. I have been trying to save so I just decided to not go anywhere and nap away my free day. I quickly realized that what they called light work is still work-work and at the end of my off day I'm still just as tired. I used to wake up and put on my casual clothes and go in and sweep the floors and dust. The light work that would take only a couple of hours. But then I'd start serving tea, doing dishes and before you know it I've put in a full day of work my nap be damned. So I stopped pretending there are off days on this job and have since just woken up and put on my uniform. Suffice it to say when I told my boss that I would not be around this weekend she was not expecting it. She tried to pull me in with the light work bit and I lied about an early hospital appointment. And that is how I found myself in KFC, I check my phone, now about an hour and a half too early for the meet. 

I chance a glance at the server and she's now shifting from foot to foot like I'm keeping her from her bathroom break. She's not even attempting to hide her disdain now so when I finally hand her the money and take the medium with chips, it's all she can do to throw the change in my general direction and walk to back station to shout my order. I thank God she's not the one packing otherwise I'd be having my treat spit seasoned.

Once I have my food I choose the seat at the back corner of the restaurant so I can watch the door and everyone else in the place. All I know is he will be wearing a white formal shirt. I have grown weary about sending internet strangers my pictures and having them ghost me so when I refused to send mine he suggested he would be patient and he would send his when I was ready to send.mine. I was never ready. So I am the reason for this meet being blind. I wish I was more nervous because it would be great if this meet was successful. We have talked about everything under the sun and I have come to enjoy having someone checking up on me daily. I am too happy to be off work that the potential loss is not really registering.

I am the one who picked this place because I knew I wouldn't get lost finding it but I wonder if he would have picked somewhere else. Somewhere more upscale maybe? From our conversations it sounds like he's doing well.

I finish my food and take out my phone and start going over our chats again to pass the time. I have a few minutes to kill before he shows up. Before I can really get into it I feel a frisson of awareness and I look up. I see a guy in a white shirt at the door looking around. I haven't seen.anyone else in a white shirt but I'm doubting this is my guy. He is drop dead gorgeous. A little on the short side but perfectly proportioned and impeccably dressed. The white shirt hint at a tonned torso and dips to expensive looking black skinny jeans and black sneakers. Sweat starts pouring out my armpits and I hope I have done a bad job of describing my floral blouse. I am certainly not the only one with dreadlocks in this place. He looks down at his phone and types something. I feel my phone buzz but I can't look away. His beard is gleaming and his eyes are adorably crinkled as he's squinting at his phone. His attention is caught by something on the other side of the room and in a split second I decide to leave. I start to gather my things but my hand is shaking and plastic cup splatters to the table 3 times before I manage to get it into the cardboard box. I have just thrown my waste into the bin when he asks me why I'm moving when the spot I've just left is fine. He laughs at my gaping mouth and apologises. He says my name to.confirm it's me and I nod automatically forgetting I was on my way out. He steers us back to my table and asks if it's ok if he just gets drinks as we decide where to eat as he would much rather have a proper meal. He starts talking about his day and how his journey here was and how his glad to finally meet him. All I can do is drink him in and sip on my cream soda. Once it's finished I realise that he's now talked us into having lunch at a five star restaurant and I want to protest. But I haven't said a word in the twenty minutes we've sat together. The first thing I say to him can't be "NO"!. My stomach 'recoils at ever saying no to this man. I've been in my head about how to finally join the conversation that I come to saying " yes of course" to his "so what do you say?". 

Of course the first thing I would say to this man would be yes. The words jump out of my.mouth before I have a chance to order them, "sorry, what did I just agree to?"

He looks me dead in the eye, reaches for my hand and says, " to be my wife".