さようなら ~ Goodbye

bEeP bEeP bEeP

I slowly opened my somnolent eyes and stared at the pallid ceiling, my eyes adjusting to the colourless world that I was alive in. Today was the day where I was finally being forced out; forced out of the place I used to call home. 

I never really got on with my parents, but over the past 2-3 years, everything has been on a decline... My relationship with my mother decomposed and my father decided to back her corner. The feeling of being disowned isn't even an emotion I have to imagine anymore because it is my reality. 

"Oi, you lazy tike! You're going to miss THE ONLY bus to this bloody school!" 

I sighed, slinging my once dead legs over the side of the bed allowing them to hit the floor with a sudden pHuMp. I instantly regretted my decision, knowing that I would get a scolding by my mother. I wobbled over to my closet and began to rummage in search of something relatively smart but casual looking. 

"Hurry up and stop making so much noise you elephant, should have sent you to the zoo rather than this overpriced shit..." 

I began to smile, realising that after today, I would be free... I rushed myself, conscious of the time, beginning to realise that if I did miss this bus, I would be stuck here for another week until the next one arrived. This place that I was being shipped off to wasn't exactly miles away, but it was a long-distance which I considered was not worth walking.

As I began to hobble down the stairs, making sure my weakened knees wouldn't buckle, I heard the door open and thought to myself, 'they're really THAT desperate to get rid of me?'

I shook it off, trying to forget the fact that I would never see them again, maybe I would re-connect with them at a family funeral but then again, will I even get told if a family member dies? Loads of questions began to swap my once tranquil mind, overthinking beginning to kick in, taking over the last piece of brainpower I had left. 

"Get out. Your things are all outside. Oh, and by the way, I went through your belongings... I took out all of the family photos so don't be too surprised when you can't find any in your bags, after all, we don't actually want you." mum chuckled, gripping onto my father's arm. I laughed internally, not willing to show any emotion on the outside, keeping the facade I had put up for years. 

"I shall bid you farewell! I hope that you both do not have a pleasant life and suffer. Oh, and by the way, I burned some of your pictures so the ones you found in there were actually going to be used for a fire. Goodbye, god-bless you both!" I giggled, waltzing down the drive with my belongings, the moss-like bus staring me in the face.

I adjusted my glasses, tipped my hat and boarded the vehicle, not once looking behind me. 

Sometimes I'm beaten

Sometimes I'm broken

'Cause sometimes this is nothing but smoke

Is there a secret?

Is there a code?

Can we make it better?

'Cause I'm losing hope

Tell me how to be in this world

Tell me how to breathe in and feel no hurt

Tell me how could I believe in something

You'd think that moving away from the problem would help someones mental state, guess I'm just abnormal then... It's my second month being here and I've never felt more isolated in my life. Even though I didn't get on with my parents, I still missed them, something I hated myself for.

When I first arrived everyone laughed at me for the clothes I was wearing, what I looked like, all my flaws... The first week was the roughest part, not knowing where to go, no one helping me, I was all alone for the first time in my life. 

As much as I hate to admit it, I miss my old school. I miss being bullied by the few that picked on me; I miss being called names; I miss the constant distraction from my messed up life. Boarding school was a whole different scenario. Everyone was either stuck-up or stuck-up, no in-between. 

My teachers never asked if I was okay, just assuming that everything was fine when in reality, I was at my breaking point. I hated it here, everything about it made me miss my home life and there I was, two months ago, wishing I could escape that place.

Is it bad to cry yourself to sleep every night? Is it bad to throw up whenever you see parents picking their child up for the weekend? Is it bad to zone out during class, thinking of my 'past life'? 

Tell me when the light goes out

That even in the dark we can find a way out

Tell me now 'cause I believe in something

bEeP bEeP bEep

I slowly opened my somnolent eyes and stared at the bedside table, my alarm clock yelling at me to get my lazy ass up out of bed. It was a Saturday so most of the kids had gone home for the weekend to spend time with their parents, I was never one of those kids.

I hopped out of bed, dressed accordingly to the day and walked out of the dorm, closing the door quietly behind me. 

As I began to walk down the halls towards the entrance of the building, I heard light footsteps following behind me, turning every corner in the same direction as I was.

I had my suspicions as to who it could have been. It was either Mark or James, all of my other friends would have gone home for the weekend.

"Alex! Will you stop walking so fast, I'm only little!" 

I turned around sharply and caught a glimpse of Bailee, the girl who saved me from everything...