For love to work

Sensitive content note: references to stalking behaviour

Eliza chucked on her coat and headed out into the drizzly morning, the city felt particularly unfriendly this morning. But it didn’t matter, she’d see him again tonight. She’d missed him like mad, the smell of his coat collar, the soft curl of his hair around his ears, and the way his eyes caught hers. Shaking herself from her reverie, she focused on the task at hand. Get through the day. Ignore the rumours. Focus. Watch the minute hand tick around the clock face so painfully slowly it was mocking her. Lunch, finally. An overpriced, soggy sandwich and a chance to peruse his Instagram. He’d been away for a whole month, too long. How could he have left her so long.

Simon was tall, perfectly matched for her own height. A feature of her body that was ripe for teasing at school, and that somehow still gave people a right to comment regularly. Quips like ‘what’s the air like up there?’ or ‘Oh I bet you find it tricky to buy jeans’. Thinking they’re being hilarious. Not knowing it’s often the third time she’d heard it that week. A lifetime of mockery, deemed socially acceptable. One day she was going to snap, ‘what’s it like being so tiny, so short, so diminutive’. Simon didn’t mind her height. He didn’t even mention it at first. Perhaps what you’d expect from a boss. That’s how it had all started.

Simon had walked into the office three years ago, brightening the dull room immediately. There were pockets of joy in that place, but they were few and far between. With Simon’s arrival Eliza had felt her happiness increase. Just seeing his face, through the glass wall of his office, brought her deep satisfaction. And when they got to speak. When they finally got to speak, her world changed forever. He was confident, well dressed and kind. Such rare qualities to have in a man, let alone your boss. He asked how her weekend was, what she was up to. He cared. He cared about them all. But he really cared about her, she could just tell.

As the months wore on, Eliza’s love for Simon developed. This wasn’t just a crush. This was real. Office parties were torture, as he worked the room with professionalism and poise. Catching her eye briefly, telling her he felt the same. He felt it too. It was undeniable. Even in the lift, if treated to a second alone, he kept his cool. Professional throughout. Not risking the doors opening to reveal an illicit kiss. 

Workplace romances were not exactly encouraged, but also not breaking any corporate rules. They’d have to speak to HR of course. Maybe she’d have to move to a different department, so he couldn’t be accused of favouritism. That was understandable. And she’d even take a demotion if it meant their relationship could thrive. She wasn’t going to lose this opportunity for happiness.

Then, one month ago, she’d come into work with a spring in her step, to find his office empty. He didn’t have any leave booked, she’d know. She memorised his diary, so she’d know when to worry, when to wonder where he’d gone. When to panic if he wasn’t replying to her emails, her teams messages. But on that fateful day, something felt off. As she headed to her desk, her colleagues looked at her. Then looked away. No-one said good morning. No-one asked how her weekend had been. 

A suited woman approached her desk. 

‘Eliza, can you come with me for a moment. We just need to have a chat.’

That had been a whole month ago, a ridiculous HR situation. Corporate rubbish. They didn’t know what had happened, what it had been like. To be in the spotlight of Simon’s attention. His care. His love. They had no idea. She’d spent the last month trying to get in touch with Simon, getting nowhere. But she had to understand, he’d been clear. He just needed a break. A bit of time apart. All relationships go through their ups and downs, she understood that. She just needed to be patient, and then they could be together once again. 

The wife and kids were a shock, a surprise, but she had been so understanding. He just needed time to sort things out, to work out the custody. Sort the divorce. Decide who got to keep the Chelsea townhouse. She couldn’t wait to live there. Visions of herself walking down the King’s Road, coffee in hand, some kind of fluffy dog at her heels. Picking up some fresh bread for Simon, still in bed, catching up on emails, waiting for her return. She couldn’t wait.

Finally, finally, the lift door pinged. And Simon stepped back into the office. He looked tired, a bit edgy. He didn’t even look at her. Not wanting to start the rumours she supposed. Fair enough. They would have their time. She could just head off a bit early and catch him at the tube station. Or pop by his house later in the week. His wife went to the gym obsessively, a fact Eliza had discovered and embraced. Regular hours when Simon was alone. Convenient. Waiting for her, she knew it. We just need to get through the working day, then we can start again. We will start again. She’d keep her job and get the man, what a beautiful time lay ahead.

A week later the suited woman appeared again, 

‘Eliza, could you just come with me.’

This time, Simon was there, sitting nervously across the table. Fiddling with that ghastly wedding ring. 

‘Look Eliza, I really hoped we could resolve this internally, but I think we might need to bring the police into this situation. My family, they’re scared. I’m scared. I don’t want to hurt you but … you have to believe … nothing is going on here. It never has. And, I’m so sorry, but it never will.’

Eliza could hear the words, but she couldn’t see a thing, as her eyes filled and dizziness overwhelmed her senses. 

‘Eliza, Simon is hoping to resolve this between us. Without bringing in the police. But you’ve got to understand. This is not sustainable, you need to leave Simon and his family alone.’

Eliza pushed her chair back, wiped her face, and stepped back into the corridor. She somehow found her way back to her desk and packed her bag, ignoring the curious stares of her coworkers. Stepping out into the street, the surprising warmth of early spring sunshine hitting her face, she decided enough was enough. She’d gone too far, she had to accept he’d moved on. 

As she got onto the tube, Eliza felt a sense of resigned acceptance. She’d give it time, give him time. But then, maybe, just maybe, he’d miss her. Maybe.