A Very Adult Fairytale

A Very Adult Fairytale

by HW Dylan. Nom d’plume

Once upon a time there was a Jew, not a good Jew but a wealthy Jew. He lusted for power, wine, women, sin and song. He built ornate castles declaring himself king. He encouraged and awarded philanders with gold and silver. His domain became known as Sodom and Gomorrah. He angered God who heaved in temper destroying the kingdom with wrath and exiling the king.

The king rode off with his women never looking back even at one wife that turned to salt. The journey caused fighting within the travelers. The women were competing to tantalize the exiled king with every move they made. A long journey indeed as the troupe boogied to China. The king proclaimed himself emperor. You see it is a myth about the emperor not knowing he had no clothes on. He loved to sin, naked with his women tempting him with concubines indigenous to China. The Chinese assumed he was a leader of a magic force as they had never been witness to an alien in their native area. He aroused the ladies with tales of personal tailors and a farm of silk worms. He said his clothes were made of gold and silver threads and he would dress the women to parade in such finery before him in his secret chambers.

Then difficulty happened. The innocence of a child wanting clean ruling like he knows at home led the child to laugh at the new monarch and tell all he could find that the emperor was a naked body with his skin and body parts showing amongst all like should never be.

Well, the Chinese couldn’t be fooled forever. The considered feeding the emperor to mountain lions, shooting him with bows and arrows, drowning him in the Yangtze River, burying is bones beside the palace he sinned in but they graciously gave him a sack of rice, a can of tea, brewing pot, cups and a copy of the I Ching told him to leave and not to come back forever.

He headed north, cold, lonely nights with his women, concubines and consorts. Sadly, the women fell ill one by one. Unable to stand the new journey, their lack of faith in God and goodness became prominent and visual as they would lay down moaning with skin tears, panting breath. Crying and reeking of odor and dirt with sickness they passed individually. He prayed to God constantly, bending knees that amazed him when they could function and swore he would redeem himself if he could be saved from his lonely tortures. Appearing to his eyes in red fur came a pure lady engaging his interest. She offered him food and water which curbed his interest in wine. His system filled with health. He was given clean clothing and bathed himself rid of dirt. He offered to bring toys to all children in the world once a year if the lady would wed him saving him from his sinful perils incurred.

He thrived in marriage with the lady warm with fur and baking goods for his soul. His joy was intense everyday as he was joined by a community of smallish men singing and working to create toys. Dolls, trains, yo yos, targets with darts, bicycles, skates both ice and roller skates, musical toys of many wonders including instruments and machines playing music to sing and dance to while listening, cameras, doll houses with furniture, creative toys for girls like looms, sewing machines and jewelry crafting kits, boys delighting with robots and chemistry kits, crystal grow projects, stuffed animals such as teddy bears, monkeys and cats, any dream of a child was developed for his delivery.

His new lifestyle would begin at dawn with warm cocoa and buttered pancakes drenched in maple syrup, sausage, a soft boiled egg and toast and jam. He ventured to the toy shop overseeing his crew building with detail every child’s fantasy. He’d break and chat of the progress slapping his thighs with laughter no longer the sin of his previous time which he considered unmentionable and prayed would remain unnoticed. Back to work overseeing as boss of goodness with a resume of overseeing sin and horrors was welcome but there was always a fear the goodness would end and he would slip into inequities again. He would lunch with noodles rich with sauces and cheese, fruit juice to be sipped and his favorite cookies.

his work crew would eat along side him singing of the jolly time they enjoyed but supper was private time for the Mr. and Mrs. The table always had a fresh centerpiece decorating with holly, pine or flowers from the north country. After the meal of beef, soup, vegetables and potatoes came desert of cake, pudding and whipped cream along with tea and honey. Never a trace of alcohol or absinthe. Bedding in fur and flannel night dreams were encumbered with coziness.

His kingdom of sin visited his dreams from time to time. His sinful companions called his name in dreams but he never answered. He drifted amongst a place far from home and lived happily ever after.

As we recall he was exiled from his land of origin. Upon his exile it was as if spring cleaning was born. The citizens came out from hiding with fear. They decorated their homes and clothing. They lined the streets with statues. Flags flew, music played, contests and games declared victors, feasting from ovens on tables created health not depraved fingering.

The youngsters grew rich with knowledge of health and plenty. The formed clubs and shepherded in groups to be safe.

The community formed laws and government replacing negligence and pornography. They were diligent in returning to civilities that were of time forgotten. Greetings were extolling amongst neighbors without fear.

Most importantly God was once again the power and ruler of his domain. Worship was a time of pride among all. Prayers and psalms sprang up daily without curse at all from the lips, carvings and inks among the locals. The locality stretched from seas to mountains as no one feared the dangers and perils of previous sin forever evicted all prayed and hoped.

And time passed daily as the crow flies and clocks announce the hour. The wind shall blow in and out, the clouds will clear and the rain will pour and dry. A snow anomaly will touch the countryside. The sun will brighten days, the moon reflect the day’s finish as stars guide the river bubbling at night when the sound of sleeping is undisturbed. The bees will enchant flowers and the birds will wake the morning eyes and ears.

The realism is for keeping as a blessing of good times.