The Blank Slate of Nothingness

The sun had barely risen when he returned home. He was welcomed by the smell of eggs and toast, signalling that Alex was making breakfast in the kitchen. The long night shift at the museum had taken its toll, and Jonah wanted nothing more than to fall into bed and sleep until dusk, when he would rise once again and head into work. Jonah dropped his bag by the door, kicked his shoes off and hung up his coat before he walked like a zombie to the kitchen, wrapping his arms around Alex and taking in his warmth.

Alex melted into him, leaning his head back so it sat comfortably on Jonah’s shoulder. These moments were what Jonah lived for. Those minutes at dawn or dusk when their paths would cross once again and they could live in each other's shadows. Even if it’s just a moment, just a snapshot, just lazy kisses and mumbled words of affection.

“Good morning, love,” Jonah said, kissing Alex’s cheek as they broke apart. Alex spun, planting a kiss on his lips.

“Good morning.”

Jonah flicked the kettle on, pulling two mugs from the cupboard. In one he spooned in some coffee and two and half sugars, in the other he placed a peppermint tea bag. Alex laced their fingers together as they waited for the kettle to boil and the eggs to harden, jumping apart only when the toast popped.

“I put you some eggs in,” Alex said. “If you’d like some.”

“You know me so well,” Jonah grinned, kissing his cheek once again.

Alex plated up his breakfast and Jonah’s dinner whilst Jonah poured the boiling water into each cup, adding a little bit of milk in Alex’s cup, making his coffee exactly the way he liked it in the morning. They sat at the table, their plates with matching eggs and toast, though one was starting his day and the other was just finishing.

“How was work?”

“Extremely boring actually, I think I’ve watched Night At The Museum too many times, I always expect more excitement.”

Alex grinned, a small chuckle escaping his lips and illuminating his tired eyes. “I did tell you it wouldn’t be like the movie.”

“And I didn’t listen.”

“You never listen!” he retorted. Jonah’s mouth dropped, faking his offence at the comment. He felt lighter already, his long night suddenly not seeming so bad now that he was in the presence of his boyfriend, pure sunshine himself bringing light to Jonah’s life. They may not get many moments of pure bliss, their work schedules being polar opposites, but he wouldn’t trade these moments for the world.

Even when he kisses him goodbye and wishes him a good day. Even when he falls into bed, the taste of peppermint tea on his lips. Even when he sleeps and dreams of moving statues and talking lions and naughty monkey’s. Even when he wakes when the sun is setting and his shower is too hot but he was too tired to adjust it, even when he hears the key twist in the lock and Alex’s honeyed voice filling the apartment. Even when he’s greeted by the love of his life, with tired eyes and his lips pulled into a thin line, a tell that he’s had a bad day at work. Even when he gets to hold him whilst he cries for only minutes before his own job pulls him from the door and they part for another day, another night, their moments of bliss tucked away in a part of his brain that could never be tampered with. They were theirs and only theirs.

Jonah walked the halls of the museum, the silence unsettling, flicking his torch on and off just to fill the sound with something. His shift was over in half an hour, he could go home and kiss his lover and have that moment once again. In the silence of the Ancient Greek and Rome section, his phone rang throughout the halls.

Good morning, the text read, and his heart filled with joy. He quickly sent a response back before exiting the section, knowing the morning shift was due to take over. He finished the last of his jobs before he was excused to leave. The drive home felt like the longest drive in his life, watching as the darkness started lifted, as the world started waking just as he was due to go to bed.

When he got home, Alex was already in the hallway, his coat on and a puppy-eyed look on his face.

“I’m sorry, honey,” he said, leaning in to kiss him. “They asked me to come in early, but there’s pasta in the fridge for you.” 

“Have a good day,” Jonah replied, because there was no point being disappointed. This was their work, their lives, their jobs. They knew it when they got into this relationship and it would be that way until the end and they had both come to terms with that. “I love you.”

“I love you so much,” Alex said.

Then he was out the door and Jonah’s heart felt heavy in his chest. He watched out the window as the sun claimed its rightful place in the sky, the people of the world waking and making the most of their day as Jonah retreated to bed, pulling down his blackout blinds to block the light from his view.

Jonas had always thrived at night time, it was when he felt most alive. It felt almost thrilling to be out when the rest of the world was asleep, when only those across the globe were living at the same time as him. The night was his to own, his to make, his to create. The blank slate of nothingness, an empty canvas, allowing him to start again each and every night.

Whilst Alex thrived in the morning, rising just before the sun did so he could sit and watch it come over the hill, illuminating the sky in an orange ray of beauty. Yellows and oranges and reds, a kaleidoscope of colours saying: it’s your day, your time to shine, make it however you want to. 

And in between those moments, in between the night ending and the sun rising, were Alex and Jonah. In between the sun setting and night falling, they were there. They passed, just like the sun and the moon, and shared these rare moments of beauty. The moments very few people truly appreciated, the moments of just them and dusk or dawn, the moment in between when they could just be together, no commitments, no expectations. Just them.

Just Jonah, the one who faded into the night, and Alex, the one who shined with the sun.