You made it…you are better than him

The day I fell in love with young man I just happened to bumped into my world turned upside down.

There wasn’t a day I didn’t think about him.  I worried about him from day to day what his life is like.  Is he happy,  does he goes to school or does he work?  On a good days when I was happy, I imagined dancing with him.  I ride the bike, I ran or I sang to him.  I took a hot baths and I massaged his back.

On days when my world was falling apart.  He held me tight and we cried together falling asleep.  Next morning he was always with me.  As the years passing by, His face was fading.  My body was weak to hold him tight.  My eyes had no more tears left to cry.  I stay late in bed wondering where he is. If he is married, if he have family of your own.  I thought if him as he was my family far far away.

People would think my life was normal, married to a wonderful man, admired by friends, at work as a great neighbor.  Two girls growing up took most of my time and work took the rest.  I met people that made me laugh and smile because I loved to make people happy.  One person that wasn’t really happy - was me.   I was surrounded by so many friends and family members, still I felt so alone.  There was always something missing.  I dreamed a lot, they were beautiful but when I woke up none turned into reality.  They simply were only a dreams.

Years were flying.  Girls married, grandkids came along and my life changed again and I surrendered myself with little ones again.  First two little red head boys came to my life.  What a joy.  I played legos for hours especially with Noah.  He build his and I created my own castles then we compared.  Mom was always the judge.  With Ben was a lot of reading.  I read books, then it turned into electronics.  It was a help because I was afraid my accent will not help him pronounce words correctly.  Teachers assured me my girls were fine so grandkids will be fine too.  Mary came next.  Beautiful little girl, looked just like her mama.  Three years later Lou was born and my days were like a tornado from day to day running after him gave me a lot of stamina and there was no time for anything.  He didn’t play much with toys.  I didn’t read any books.  He was constantly on a run.  Jens life turned into a single mom with children and they moved back home with me.  It didn’t change much for me, was busy as hell until Lou finally went to preschool and I could spend 4hrs at the gym.  I could finally breathe, I finally found new friends.  I thought I was happy.   Something was still missing.  I need a real job.  I need to create, design again. So I did.

It was a beautiful summer day, nobody wanted to go inside.  It’s a perfect day to have our meeting outside.  Any objections ? Adam looked around and clapped his hands.  Hurray we all agreed, let’s bring some chairs or maybe just a blanket for us to seat down on grounds.

Who said we all agreed- I asked.  You didn’t raised your hand.  Adam, I was busy as you can see.  Oh come on Mia, let’s enjoy this beautiful…gorgeous weather.  He smiled at me and I couldn’t resist those blue dreamy eyes.  They reminded me him.

Ok, just for the meeting…maybe we all can come up with new ideas while bathing in those hot sunny rays.  It’s gorgeous Mia, you couldn’t ask for a better day and little tan on your face won’t hurt your complexions Mia…I smiled because I agree with him-  my skin used to be so tan vacationing in Florida.   Now those days I am cooked inside day and night trying to figure out the latest problem.  Or babysitting my grandkids.

Sheim is already beating us with their latest design and we?  Where do we stand?  We have nothing lined up for the next show.  We need at least 5, and I mean it people five more designs by next Saturday.  Our models are all waiting for fittings and we got nothing.  I couldn’t even face Richard to tell him I got nothing. My eyes tear up, I couldn’t face my team.  I failed them.  My creativity those days were gone to garbage.  It’s been awhile since I was sewing or designing any clothes.

Everything I designed I threw it away.  Nothing looked good enough.  We needed something new, something bold so it would stand up from others.

How about a little wine it may trigger something new, he stand up but his leg got caught inside his chair and falling he tried to grab my arm but unfortunately fell with my sleeve in his hand.  Everyone froze, entire team looked at me and I looked at my naked arm.  Then I looked at Adam, his face was red -eyes widely opened.  Oh you pure thing, I kneel next to him and looking over for any visible injuries ….are you hurt I asked him.  No, but your sleeve is here and he hand it over to me.

I looked at the sleeve than I looked at my blouse….soddenly my face light up….Adam you are a genius, I screamed and kiss his forehead before disappearing inside the building.

Adam look up and before getting himself up he asked, what exactly happed here?  Does anyone saw what happened?  You fell and  Dismantled Mia’s outfit in the process.  …..and what happened after that….?  She said you are a genius and she kissed you.  That’s what I thought.  Adam got up, rubbing his glutes muscles and set down back on his chair.  Maybe I do need that drink now.  Everyone cheered and we all decided visit local bar.  Nobody wanted face Mia right now.  Whether she was mad or whatever mood she was in, nobody wanted to find out tonight.  Let’s get out before she comeback.   Team didn’t wait a second longer, Adam was next in charge and he wasn’t going to stay and face the unknown either.

My design was ready, I submitted my final draft to Richard.  His replied appeared on my screen a seconds later.  Finally Mia ! 

I leaned backward, closed my eyes and whispered to myself - ”you know you are better than that….you are a genius Mia. 

Richard this is my last design for you.

I closed the server and a picture of a man appeared on my screen …a ghost from the past.  

No his face didn’t faded.  It was as clear as it was the very first day we met.  I smiled, I laughed, I cried, but they were happy tears.  I read everything I could about him.  He turned into a wonderful man…..I whispered.

As I read and read some more my heart was breaking in half.   I was happy, very happy for him, why am I so unhappy.  Isn’t all I wanted for him?