Loneliness Kills

It was a cold blustery October evening and Gillian did not want to be outside. She would prefer to be huddled in her apartment on the upper west side watching the world go by. She had lucked out with her apartment. You couldn’t find a better place to live in New York City. She was close to the 1 train and delicious coffee shops. The apartment itself had gorgeous parquet floors and exposed brick. Gillian will never leave, never leave a cheap apartment in NYC. Even if the loneliness of the city was slowly killing her soul.

Regardless how inviting her apartment is, she was still battling the cold. Mick said he needed to have this book tonight. The rare one she found online, the one he had been searching for. A thrill of excitement went through Gillian as she crossed the street, closer to cafe, Mick’s excitement finally rubbing off on her. 

Last week, while in a chat with other book lovers, DARKLORE mentioned they had a rare copy of Tomes of Shadows. It is said that this book is a descendant of the Malleus Maleficarum, a 15th century book that denounced witchcraft. When Gillian asked why Mick wanted it, he said it would look great in his collection. Which is nothing odd but the way he was so impatient to have it and how quickly he became obsessed with it, caused Gillian to wonder if there is more he isn’t telling her. Mick had a way of manipulating Gillian to get what he wanted. Always.

Gillian mentioned her hesitation to meet DARKLORE by herself. Not trusting this person who just happens to have the book he needs. Mick waived her worries aside, telling her to meet in a public place and she would be fine. She sighed at his blasé attitude and hoped he would come back as a woman in his next life. She let out a little chuckle thinking of Mick as a woman. It would definitely be a punishment for him. 

A hot dog cart was a block away from Gillian, two blocks from the cafe. She quickly approached the cart, hungry for the processed meat and needed a minute to calm her nerves. She let out a sigh, wariness and excitement attempting to overwhelm her.

Looking at her phone, she reread the private message DARKLORE sent her, detailing the who’s, when’s where’s of the meeting. Price was to be determined on seeing the book proving its validity. She finished her hot dog and bought a soda from the man. Caffeine, that is definitely what she needed at this moment. She walked the last block to the cafe and tossed the rest of her soda. Breathing in deep, she opened the door and scanned the cafe looking for a middle aged man, dark eyes, pale skin, wearing a black beanie, and a green sweater. His “name”, Tyr.

She stepped out of the doorway and pulled off her beanie to shake out her dark auburn hair and to rub her hands together, giving her time to continue scanning. Noticing no one matching that description, she debated ordering something and taking a seat and waiting. 

“Oh, excuse me,” came a low voice behind her. Gillian quickly regained her balanced and blushed at the commotion she was making.

“It’s ok, it was my fault,” she gave me a small smile. Then she noticed the black beanie and green sweater. She tilted her head and made eye contact with him and kept staring. His eyes felt bottomless, felt like they could see through her soul and to past generations, and she wanted him to. She wanted to share everything with him. He cleared his throat as she continued to stare and with difficulty, Gillian broke eye contact and took a step back.

“Tyr?” She quietly asks. She glances back at him quickly, seeing the nod and the smile feeling more at ease. 

“Gill?” She also nods and smiles, following him to the counter. Neither speak, allowing the silence to become uncomfortable. Who will speak first? Who will make the first move?

The woman in front of them ordered her triple shot vanilla oat milk latte and moved to the side while waiting for her drink.

“Would you like anything?” Tyr asks Gillian, noticing the slight Scottish accent. 

“No thank you,” she steps away from the counter while Tyr orders black coffee, of course. They walk towards the back of the cafe where a college student just vacated a table looking haggard. Gillian did not miss her college days. Too little reward while demanding too much.

“Do you have the book?” Gillian asks glancing around nervously.

“I do,” Tyr pauses and looks questioningly at her. “Are you nervous to be with me?” 

Too quickly Gillian answers, “of course not.” 

Tyr smiles and the intensity of his gaze makes her squirm in her seat. He held himself very still, unnaturally still, no flinching when the barista dropped a mug nor breaking eye contact when a pretty woman accidentally bumps his chair. He just kept looking at her. After a few moments he looked away and nodded. Gillian sighed, glad that the soul searching that happened when they first met did not happen again. That she was aware of.

“Can I see it?” She asked hesitantly.

“Not here.” He took another sip of his coffee and leaned back in the chair. “Tell me, why do you want it?” 

“Why not here?” Skipping over the why’s. Mick strictly said to leave his name out of the transaction. He could not be tied to black market book dealings. Now Gillian realized the red flag in his demands. This was a dangerous book, owned by dangerous individuals. She wanted to bang her head against the wall.

He smirked at her, easily reading her hesitation.

“It is too powerful. People will notice and I do not want the attention.” He went back to staring at Gillian, noting the her petite nose and plumb lips. Then the blush that rose up on her face, she was so expressive, while trying to be a closed book. 

‘I’m not going anywhere else with you.” She was proud that her voice sounds strong instead of wispy.

“Ok,” he suddenly stood and started to leave the cafe. Gillian wasn’t sure if she should follow him or let him go and have Mick deal with this situation. She sat there until he was out of the cafe and quickly deciding, she didn’t want to play it safe anymore, so Gillian ran out to find him. She was going to get this book. She was tired of being afraid and complacent. 

Noticing him a few feet away she quickly caught up with him. He didn’t say anything when he saw her, just smiled and nodded his head in approval. That was all Gillian needed, his approval and she would follow him anywhere. Later she would think back to this exact moment and wish she didn’t follow.

He led her to the subway and they silently waited on the platform. He stood still while she shivered ever so often. The cold permeating through the tunnels. It felt like there was a huge block of ice on the platform, emitting cold air all around her. Shrugging off his jacket he handed to her and she took it gratefully. Immediately, she started to warm up and against her better judgment, inhaled the cologne lingering there. Tyr chuckled and Gillian dropped the jacket and blushed fervently.

The train approached and he motioned for her to step inside to a blessedly warm car. She was about to take off his jacket and hand it back to him when he said, “we will be outside again soon enough. Keep it.” Gillian nodded and swayed as the train began to move. 

“Tell me why you want this book?” Tyr asked Gillian again, keeping his voice soft and low. 

“Because.” She shrugged and turned slightly to look out the windows, watching the blurry insides of the tunnel. 

“That isn’t an answer.” He continued to stare and the warmth from the car started to disappear.

“I can’t tell you why.” She stepped away from him and took a seat close to the door. He followed and stood in front of her. 

“Not many people know of this book. This book will change your life.” He said quietly in her ear. 

Before she could put together a response, the train stopped and Tyr motioned to get off. Noticing her hesitation, he grabbed her hand and led her to the platform. He didn’t let go as they climbed the stairs, nor when they approached a new office building, nor when Gillian didn’t want to go any further. 

“Come.” He demanded.

Gillian shook her head. This was all too much. Did she want to go in there for Mick? For this book?

“Come, I will not hurt you.” Tyr’s voice floated over her like a heavy blanket. She sighed and nodded, following him inside the building.

It was a normal office building. Doors, hallways, drinking fountains, and desks. Nothing seemed out of place but Gillian still felt like she shouldn’t be there. Tyr walked them over to an elevator and Gillian knew there was no going back. She knew she wouldn’t be able to escape now. Reminding herself of the thrill of taking a chance after leaving the cafe, she stood up straight and waited for the doors to open.

They got off on the 42nd floor and towards an undisclosed office. Tyr entered a code and went in, waiting for Gillian to follow. The office was bare, only a desk, coffee table and two chairs. 

“This isn’t really an office?” She questioned him.

“No, I don’t normally work out of New York but I made an exception for you.” He walked to the desk and pulled out a large wooden box. It had different symbols etched into it covering it completely.

“Are you sure you want this book?” He asked cautiously, trying to figure Gillian out. Trying to understand why a woman as innocent as her, wanted a book full of dark magic. 

“Wait, you never had it with you?” She stepped closer annoyed he lied to her.

“No.” He laughed at her naivety. “I would never carry this around so carelessly.” He paused a moment and then continued, “do you know what this book is?”

She nodded and recited, “Tome of Shadows”. Her eyes never leaving the box.

“Yes, that is what it is called, but do you know why?” 

“My boss wants it.” She was entranced with the symbols and how they flowed to effortlessly together.

“Gillian.” Tyr snaps. Shaking her from staring at the box.

“Who is your boss?”

“Oh, no one. I mean, I want it. For me.” She tried to cover her mistake but Tyr wouldn’t have.

“Gillian, who? I will not give it to you unless you tell me.” She saw the resolve in his eyes and sighed.

“Mick Blanc,” she sat heavily in the chair and pulled the jacket closer not understanding why it still so cold. Maybe they don’t heat empty offices she thought distractedly.

“Really?” He stretched out the word and anger swelled around him. It felt so tangible that Gillian sunk even lower in the chair.

“Do you know him?” 

“Of course I do. That bastard has been trying to get this book for years. I didn’t think he would send some girl for it.” 

“I’m not some girl. I am a woman who has been working for him for years.”

“Years? And yet you do not know him. He sent you here to die.” Tyr said contemptuously. 

“Die? It is just a book?” Gillian needed to leave but she knew she would not get far. So, she pretended to be bold. Pretended to be Mick.

“Show me the book. I do not believe you.” She stood and walked back over to him, pretending to not be afraid. It doesn’t matter what Tyr thinks, Mick is a good man.

“If you insist.” He snarls at her.

“I do.” And a wave of power flows out of her, unnoticed by her but felt by Tyr.

He nicks his finger with a knife that suddenly appears and lets a drop fall on the box. Then he places his hand atop it and starts to chant. Goosebumps cover Gillian’s body and the temperature drops even further. She stumbles closer as if a hand pulled her to the box.

A whoosh of air comes out of the box and Tyr lifts the lid. The moment her eyes fall on the book her body becomes electric. She had never felt so alive before and she wanted more. She wanted more of the books power. She lifted her hand to touch the book, unaware of Tyr yelling at her or the wind encapsulating her. Before she could touch it, Tyr slams the lid down and pushes her away.

“Who are you?” He demanded. Gillian ignored him and the warning bells going off in her own head. Some memory was trying to force its way through the power but Gillian wanted nothing to do with it. She wanted to see the book again. 

“Answer me.” The command in Tyr’s voice broke through her power hungry haze. 

“I’m Gillian.” She answered absently. 

“Gillian, who are you really?” He asked again with slightly more patience.

“I don’t understand what you are asking. Or why I feel this way. Did you do this to me?” The panic crowding in after the explosion of power. “Just tell me how much you want for it and I will get the funds transferred then I can leave. 

“It is much too late for that, love.” Tyr placing the box in a floor safe and locking it. “You aren’t going aware with this book. Actually, you aren’t going back to Mick, or your old life.” 

“What do you mean?” The cold making her teeth tremble. A look of pity crosses Tyr’s face and before he can continue, she passes out. Just crumples right there in front of him. His reflexes drained from the book but he was able to cushion her head enough to not have a concussion.

“I mean you’re a witch and I cannot let you live.”