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Funny Contemporary

The day when the story takes place is a day in the middle of a week, a Wednesday or a Thursday. Avril was walking in the streets of her childhood town when she suddenly felt the urge to take pictures of the autumnal scenery around her. She took out her beloved smartphone of her jeans pocket and started shooting squirrel photos. She liked to publish neat pictures on her Instagram account so she took care of choosing the best angles, not fearing to get her knees dirty. One of the squirrels she chose as her model was challenging, he was quite quick to follow. She hopped after him on her tiptoes as silently as she could not to scare him off. When he finally settled on a tree branch, she moved closer to him to take what she considered the greatest picture she ever took. She got so close to him she didn’t have to zoom in. He was nibbling a nut he was holding between his two paws. It was so sweet that she took a video, beginning with a close up on his little teeth and the nut and slowly walking backwards to finish with a bigger picture of the landscape. The town looked good at this time of the year with the red leaves and the pumpkins in the gardens. As she looked at the pictures and the video she shot, she felt proud of herself and decided to do what she usually does: publish them on social media. After clicking on “Add a story”, “Create Post”, “Tweet” and “Share”, she put her phone back in her left pocket and carried on her walk through the town. 

She met a few people on her way, people she was glad to meet again after two years living abroad without coming back. They were all inquiring about her life there, her job and the weather. She told the same story over and over again. She felt a bit uncomfortable as she wasn’t doing the job she had aimed to do when leaving. She had always dreamt of becoming a journalist and what she was doing at the moment was more of a computer fixing job than content creation. People seemed disappointed but pretended to be supportive. She missed the country life for the scenery and the silence but not for the gossips. She felt like she was going to be the people’s favourite topic in the village the next few days. She finally arrived at her grandmother’s doorstep feeling exhausted already. She had met more people in one day in that small town than she had the last two years in her big city. She was happy to come back to her grandmother who prepared a cup of tea for her with scones and cream. Her grandmother’s cottage was probably the most picturesque in town and also the oldest one. Avril was aware that the cottage was one of the things she missed the most because she liked taking pictures of it but also because it was the place where the person she loved the most was living. 

“Help yourself with the raspberry jam I made myself dearie,” her grandmother said cheerfully. “There won’t be much left soon if all the neighbours know I have made some.” 

Avril helped herself and kissed her gran on the cheek. The jam was delicious of course, so were the scones. Her grandmother liked to invite the neighbours to make them taste her jams and her soups. It was one of her favourite hobbies since Avril had left. It made her think of something else than the sadness of being away from her granddaughter. They both liked to write postcards when they were apart and it was their only way of communication at the beginning. Even though Avril had bought a computer to her granny before going away and explained how it worked, she couldn’t remember a damn thing the day after Avril took her flight. But a few months after Avril’s departure, a guy named Conrad moved to the cottage next door and helped Avril’s gran to send emails. It was more practical and since then, Avril couldn’t hear nothing but her gran praising that Conrad. She probably thanked him by giving jars of jam. So now they were exchanging emails but they still loved sending postcards to one another. As Avril was eating her scone voraciously, her grandmother switched on the TV. It was her favourite quiz show where people have to guess a word with the description that is given to them in a small amount of time. Now she knew it was Wednesday because on a Thursday, her gran liked to watch the antique programme. Avril thought it was good to be back. She had missed those little things, the time spent with her grandmother without having to talk to each other. As soon as she finished her scone, they heard a knock on the door. The end of Avril’s tranquillity was going to end at that precise moment. 

Her grandmother opened the door to a tall, dark-haired man in his thirties. He seemed to be nervous as he had swiftly stopped chewing his nails when he heard the door open. 

“Hello Molly, sorry to bother you. I know your granddaughter is visiting you but I think she might be in trouble,” he said. 

“What’s going on?” replied Avril as soon as she heard it was all about her. 

“Well maybe you should switch on the TV.” 

“It’s already switched on.” 

He took the remote control and changed the channel. Avril couldn’t believe what she was seeing. The video she took an hour ago was on TV! But it didn’t seem right. Some people were debating on privacy subjects and the issues caused by social media. A journalist was saying “You know what happens with young people, they think they can film whatever they want and post it on social media without questioning ethics.” A woman agreed saying “the problem here is that she obviously invaded a person’s privacy and shared it with the rest of the world.” Someone seemed to disagree: “For me it is obvious that her intention was not to film that naked guy but rather to film a squirrel and she accidentally filmed what was going on in the background.” The banner on the screen was reading “@AvrilZimman and the naked guy video case.” 

Avril took out the phone she had kept inside her pocket since the publication of the video and noticed all the messages she received. She didn’t know what happened, she never filmed a naked guy. As she was thinking that, the video was playing again on TV and when you zoomed in on the right, you could actually see that naked guy in the garden. It was not the only problem. Everyone could recognise the place where the video was taken and if people recognised the place, they would know this guy was Dick Fleetman and that he was not naked in his own house but in Mrs Flaherty’s garden. What has she done? Everyone would think she was a perv, she had to delete that video straight ahead. Oh no, that was too late to delete it, the most famous channel on TV had it in their possession. What could she do now? People were debating on Twitter, there were hashtags such as #Avrilthevoyeurist, #FreetheNakedGuy, #ForbidPublicNakedness and even #HideYourSquirrel. She couldn’t believe she was in the middle of that chaos. People she didn’t know had sent her messages. Some to insult her, to tell her she had no dignity, some others to tell her she was a genius and should be a political artist. Some people sent her messages she didn’t even understand. She turned white in a split second, she didn’t know what to do with herself so she sat and hid her face with her hands. 

“I don’t understand what’s going on here,” said her grandmother. “Why would she be in trouble?” 

Conrad didn’t answer but smiled sympathetically. He took the remote control and switched off the TV. 

“Some people might come here today, Molly.” He finally said. “It would probably be better to stay somewhere else for a night or two.” 

“Staying somewhere else?” she replied. “But I never left my house, I don’t know why I would sleep somewhere else!” 

“No one is going to leave except from me,” Avril said, finally deciding to face the truth. “I am the one who made a mistake and it is me who Dick Fleetman will be after.” 

“Why on earth would Dick be after you, dearie?” 

“I made a video in town today granny. I published it on social media without noticing I filmed Dick at his mistress’s house.” Avril replied. “And now everyone is going to be aware of it because it’s on TV.” 

“If someone made a mistake here is that stupid Dick! If he wants to come here for explanations, it is me who is going to kick his ass.” 

Conrad giggled. 

“What if he presses charges against me?” Avril asked. “He could do that, couldn’t he?” 

“I suppose he could,” Conrad replied. “That’s why I thought you should go to see my uncle. He lives thirty minutes from here and he is a lawyer. Not only he could give you major information but also he could defend you if you were in trouble.” 

“That would be wise but I really don’t want to trouble anyone.” 

“Let me call him on the phone and we can decide what is the best thing to do.” Conrad said pragmatically. 

He came through the kitchen door to go outside in the garden. 

“I told you he was a sweetheart,” Molly said to her granddaughter. 

Avril smiled pitifully. She was drowning in her negative thoughts. She always wanted to be famous one day but for articles she wrote, not for a stupid tweet and an Instagram publication. She walked to the living-room window to gaze across the beautiful street. Some people she met earlier were walking towards the cottage with the curious air she scorned so much. 

She didn’t want to face them. They would ask some explanations and she didn’t feel like giving any. There was nothing to say, she just wanted to take a nice video and post it. There was nothing wrong there. If she had put her glasses on when he had posted the video, maybe she would have noticed there was Dick being in the buff in a place he shouldn’t be. Now she wanted to be far away, she felt like taking a flight and going back to the dreary place she had come from. If it was not for her grandmother, she would do it. But she couldn’t leave her grandmother like that, she was so happy to see her. 

“Granny, there are some people coming over and I don’t want to talk to them. Maybe we should hide in my room until they go?” 

“Don’t talk rubbish my dear. You go hide in my room but I am going to talk to them. We shouldn’t be afraid of them, I’ve been living here longer than them after all.” 

Avril obeyed to her gran’s order and hid in her room. As soon as she closed the door, she could hear her gran welcoming them and offering them a cup of tea. The two people were Selina and Emily, the former was the town’s fishmonger and the latter was her daughter. She was about the same age as Avril. As they began to talk, Avril looked outside the window where Conrad was. He seemed to be in a deep conversation with his uncle on the phone but they seemed to be friendly. Not like that bloody Emily who was inquiring about where Avril was and telling her grandmother she should go to jail for what she’s done. Avril was glad to hear her grandmother rebelling. 

When she saw Conrad hanging up, Avril opened the window to tell him not to come back through the kitchen window because there were harpies arguing with her granny. He laughed and instead jumped through Avril’s window. 

“My uncle will be glad to have you for a few days. He says what is going on is quite serious and some people don’t go through social media stuff easily. For the moment, the journalists haven’t talked about charges but maybe that Dick hasn’t seen the video on TV yet.” 

“It won’t take long until he knows, people are probably already gathering around his house.” 

A thud could be heard from the kitchen. It seemed like Granny Molly has been blowing a fuse and kicked the two lovely ladies out. 

“They really have something against you, honey.” Molly said to Avril when they were all in the kitchen. “They told me horrendous things such as you wanting to become famous with that video. I told them to mind their own business and to stop watching it if it makes them so uncomfortable.” 

Conrad told her about his uncle offering his help to them. At first, it was still hard to convince Molly to stay somewhere else but she finally thought it was better to spend some more time with her granddaughter. 

Avril took her car to go to the lawyer’s house, she thought no one would damage her granny’s house if they see Avril is not there. When they left, they drove by Mrs Flaherty’s house and they could see the three people involved in the story having a row: Dick Fleetman, his wife and Mrs Flaherty. It didn’t look good, eggs had been splashed on the windows and Mrs Fleetman was holding a few more in her hands. They could see Mrs Flaherty begging for her to stop. It would have made a great movie scene. Avril speeded up to avoid being noticed by one of them and receiving the other eggs. She felt a bit more relaxed when they exited the town. On the road, Conrad asked a few questions about the places she visited abroad. It seemed that Molly had shown him all the postcards she had sent with the juicy stories. “Amazing,” she thought. “Now he’s going to think I’m a weirdo who likes spending her time making snow globes and collecting stamps. When they finally arrived at the lawyer’s house, a wave of panic numbed her. All of it was real. She was going to have troubles for the very first time in her life and she was going to ask for help. It sounded serious. Two hours before she had been an innocent young woman who had come home to say hello to her grandmother and now she was a culprit. It was all too absurd. She even felt ashamed. Thousands of people had seen her account and had followed her for bad reasons. She was known as the girl who published a naked guy on social media. 

Conrad’s uncle welcomed them very warmly. He lived in a bigger house than Avril’s grandmother but it looked very personal with pictures everywhere. He had prepared dinner for them. Avril felt a bit reassured and she felt like she would be able to explain everything calmly without being judged. As she did so, she showed all the messages she was receiving, the good ones and the bad ones.

 “It seems like you’ve become a real star,” he said. “Let’s wait and see what’s going on tomorrow before making any decision. I think you shouldn’t delete your account, the video has already been shared anyway.” 

“What about the video? Maybe I should delete it because it is unlawful to post the video of a naked person.” 

“It is unlawful. But I wouldn’t have seen that guy in the background if my eyes were focused on the squirrel. It is clear that you never intended to film that guy. Only people who have zoomed in have seen him. He is too far away to clearly see what people want to see and to recognise him.” 

“Yes but now the video has been on TV, his wife recognised him and he is in trouble.” 

“Well, let’s see what happens tomorrow. Delete the video if you feel better but people will keep sharing it. It will be their problem.” 

Avril felt a bit better but she tried not to look at her phone too often. They all had dinner, they talked about other things and it was pleasant. When the subject of the naked guy came up, it became a joking matter so it helped Avril to take a step back. Everything seemed fine. Even Molly seemed to be having a good time outside of her cottage. Avril enjoyed the conversations and especially the ones she had with Conrad. He suggested her to use her momentary fame to write an article about what she lived that afternoon. She thought it was a great idea and began to write a few ideas on her phone. It would be crazy to become a famous journalist with an article published after that crazy afternoon. She didn’t count on it but at least it was worth trying. She didn’t know what was going to happen the day after nor the weeks after but she felt like the worse or the best could happen to her. She didn’t really care if it was Wednesday or Thursday now. The most important was that she was with her granny and that she was having a good time with some people she just met and with whom she felt comfortable. 

May 28, 2021 17:11

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