Till Death

 Today was finally the day and I couldn’t describe how happy I was. I checked myself out in front of the full-length mirror for the thirtieth time making sure there wasn’t a hair out of place. I fixed my tie and smoothed my hair, the whole-time grinning ear to ear.

 I leaned over and looked out the window of my room to see the people setting up outside. They were putting the chairs in neat rows leading up to the podium at the front. Another group of people were setting up the tables and putting up the decorations. If I was being honest, I thought that my parents had gone a little overboard. True, I wanted a day to remember, and I appreciated everything they were doing, but all of this must have cost them a fortune.

 I turned back to the mirror and took a deep breath and thought about what was coming and started smiling again. A knock on the door snapped me out of my euphoria. I walked over and opened it up to find Daniel standing there. As the door opened he looked me up and down and said, “not bad man, I haven’t seen you in anything but sweatpants for so long I kind of expected you to get married in them.”

 “Oh trust me if I could have gotten away with it I probably would have attempted it, but I’m pretty sure Hazel would kill me” I said.

 At the mention of Hazel Daniel’s expression shifted to something more apprehensive. “Hey man, I know this is absolutely the last thing you want to hear on your wedding day but I wanted to talk to you.”

 I raised an eyebrow at that. Daniel was always goofing around even when we were kids so when he got serious I usually tried to pay attention. “Yeah man, what’s going on?”

 He rubbed his face and took a deep breath and said, “before I say anything I just want you to know that I’m happy for you. I’m your brother though so I want to make sure you don’t get yourself into trouble or do something stupid.” I already knew where this was going and felt my eyes narrowing in response. I crossed my arms but stayed quiet. He must have noticed the change in my body language but he still pressed on. “About Hazel man, you guys have been dating for what? Like four months? Don’t get me wrong I’m happy for you bro but I have to make sure you’re not about to run into something that’s gonna bite you in the ass”.

 I rolled my eyes and made a disgusted sound. “Everyone seems so worried and thinks that I’m making some kind of mistake. I think the only one who was genuinely happy when I broke the news to them was mom.”

 “Well of course mom was happy, you’re her little baby boy and you know how much she wants you to have kids” he said trying to lighten the mood. I couldn’t help it I laughed a bit and it scattered the tension I felt building inside. “I’m just trying to look out for you man, I mean if I was about to marry some chick I knew for a few months I would want you to make sure I wasn’t making a mistake.”

 At that I felt a small burst of anger but it faded almost as quickly as it had come. Dan was right, if the tables were turned I would probably have had the same reaction. “Well to be honest, I have known Hazel for a long time. She was a part of my group of friends from college and I had pined after her for years but she never really seemed interested in me as more than friends. A couple of months ago I bumped into her at a bar and we both got pretty drunk and hooked up. It was like a dream come true man, after that we started dating. It felt perfect and one day we were just joking around saying we should just get married because it already felt like we were and the idea felt so right I popped the question a week later.”

 Dan started to laugh which was not the way I thought he would respond to that. “Hooking up at a bar, that sounds more like something I would do than you would do.” I smiled at that and he got his laughing under control. “Well man when you put it that way it does sound a lot more reasonable than you met some random chick and got married four months later.” He looked at his watch and said, “I got to go help set up let me know if you need anything.” He turned to leave the room but then remembered something and said, “oh right have you seen Charlie? He was supposed to help me set up the speakers but I haven’t seen him for a bit.”

 “He hasn’t been here and I’ve been in here getting ready for about an hour. You’d think my best man would be here making sure I didn’t look like shit or run away from my nerves” I said.

 “Not gonna lie, I’m still pretty bummed out I didn’t get the best man spot” he said but in a joking tone.

 “Hey man if you didn’t live so far away it would have been yours, I wasn’t even sure you were going to make it to the wedding.” I looked around wondering where the hell Charlie could be but just rolled my eyes, that guy was always doing something random but he’d turn up eventually. Dan said his goodbyes again and left me in my room by myself and I sat on the edge of the bed.

 I sat there for a moment but then wondered if anyone had been talking to Hazel like Dan had to me asking about our quick wedding. I got worried that she might be regretting things especially if Rita was the one talking to her, I don’t know why but she never liked me.

 I got to my feet and made my way down the hall, I had to see Hazel before the ceremony, I had to make sure everything was good. I didn’t want to admit this but I also wanted her to reassure me, I knew this is what I want and I have wanted it for years but just hearing her voice would make everything better.

 I crept around the corner knowing that Rita was sitting outside of Hazel’s room, I knew that because this wasn’t my first attempt to sneak in and see Hazel. As I peered past the corner though I didn’t see anyone outside the room. Rita must have gone outside to smoke or something so this was the perfect time. I walked up to the door quietly just in case she was nearby and walked through the door. That’s when I saw Hazel and Charlie on the room’s bed. They were coiled onto one another and Hazel was still in her wedding dress.

 The smile on my face melted away as I looked at the two of them unable to say a word. Charlie hadn’t noticed me come in and was still trying to continue his betrayal but Hazel stopped him pointing in my direction. I didn’t know what to expect at that moment from Charlie, a shocked look, maybe he would try to explain himself. I wasn’t expecting what he actually did, he got off the bed pulling up his pants and while he did he smiled at me. “Well, this wasn’t how I expected this to go down” he said running his fingers through his hair.

 “Why” I heard myself saying, I didn’t even try to say the words they just came out.

 “Why? Come on man you must have known what was going on. All the time we spent together without you, figured you just didn’t care or you were just ignoring it on purpose. I never would have guessed that you were completely oblivious” he said with a laugh. “I guess that means you have no idea that we were hooking up before you guys got together so technically she was my girl first.”

 I turned to look at Hazel who was still sitting on the bed trying to fix her dress to be more modest. The look on her face looked more annoyed than anything as though me catching her in the act was inconvenient. In that one second I saw that she never loved me and she never felt guilty about what she had been doing. “How could you do this to me” I said this time willing the question myself. Tears rolled down my face unbidden but I hardly noticed them.

 She looked at Charlie then back to me but said nothing. “Come on man you really think she was ever into you? That night you two hooked up at the bar she was there waiting for me but I got held up at work. She told me the next morning when she woke up she was going to tell you it was an accident but felt bad for you.” He looked at Hazel, “tell him that you only went this far because you wanted to make me jealous”.

 My tears stopped flowing and in their place I felt anger begin to brew inside of me. “Well I guess the cats out of the bag” he said walking over to grab his jacket that was sitting on the back of a chair. He put the jacket on and walked towards the door as though he was positive I would do nothing to him. “The best part of all of this was that you asked me to be your best man. When Hazel told me you were gonna pick me I nearly pissed myself.” He put his hand on my shoulder as he was passing by and said, “she’s all yours man, I’ve had my fun.”

 I wasn’t sure if it was his last words or just him putting his hand on me but I snapped and punched him in the face dropping him to the floor. I got on top of him and started punching him over and over but during my release of frustration I could hear Hazel screaming for me to get off of him. A point of myself that was still rational took that in and thought how could she be trying to defend him after what he just said. My musings as well as my assault was stopped when someone grabbed me from behind and pulled me off of Charlie. I tried to fight them off but I heard Daniel behind me, “stop man stop, you’re going to kill him.”

 My anger started to abate and with its absence I felt my body slump to my knees all the fight burnt out of me. Daniel walked over to Charlie who was coughing up blood after my attack. He looked like he was going to check on him to make sure I didn’t seriously injure him but at one glance he took in the scene and knew exactly what was happening. Hazel hopped off the bed and went check on Charlie and right in the moment I saw everything I was too blind to see before. How she rushed everything with us to get us to this point, having me buy her everything she could. The missed dinners and not getting back to me for days at a time. Looking back on it I had no idea how I had thought everything was so good between us.

 I was blind, blind to everything but the fact that I had my chance with her. I sat there looking at the love of my life tending to the man who she truly loved who had no love for her and I knew I was a fool.