Travelling to the Sun

Eva gazed through the window, looking at the Sun and so did I.

Sunrise was always ‘our thing’, something that we could bond upon. We would wake up at 5 am just to see the rising sun. Sunrises were something I was grateful for, it made me realize that every dark phase is accompanied by beaming positivity. It’s a cycle, maybe the cycle of life. You do not want the night to stay forever neither do you expect the day, the light, to be forever.

Eva was just like a sunny day, positive and cheerful, but the only difference was this day did not come to an end. She made me look at life with a different perspective, she taught me to be happy, to live life to the fullest.

Eva and I met in school; we lived in the same street, so we were good friends.  I was a shy and reserved boy whereas she was out spoken and an extrovert. Although I was the older one, it was she who would boss around. I liked to be with her, listen to her blabbering and talking to her. She made me feel good about myself. We used to walk from our home to school and school to home. While returning we would share all the sweetmeats and fries that we had saved up for each other from lunch time.

I always felt connected towards her although, we were poles apart. A part of it was because; I came from a family, where I received no love. My parents died in an accident, just a few months after I was born. I was then given shelter by my uncle and aunt. They never talked to me, but when they did, they made sure that I knew, how big of a burden I was for them.

Students at school wanted to humiliate me, as I was a shy kid. Sometimes it was just too much and that was when Eva consoled me. As we started to mature, her talks started to include me and, her. She talked about us. I knew, I loved her but couldn’t convey that to her in words. But once when I said that felt lonely. And she said, “Noah, why would you be alone? I love you so much and I will always be with you.” That was the happiest day of my life.

As we passed out from school, we thought to marry. But her parents did not approve of our union and locked Eva in her room. I was devastated. Even my uncle and aunt did not approve of our marriage and kicked me out of the house. I and Eva kept in touch through our cell phones. And one day we thought to elope together. That night we reunited and ran away far from our village to a city nearby. Helpless we took shelter at an old age home. After a lot of struggle, Eva got the job of a junior teacher at school and we rented a small apartment. I then started to prepare for civil services examination. I felt guilty for sitting idle at home. So one day asked Eva, “I am sorry Eva, I couldn’t provide you with anything I promised. I know you are unhappy, but bear with me a few days.” Eva replied, “Bear? Why should I bear with you, I will live with you. And why do you think I am unhappy? I am working and so are you. You are preparing for the examinations and also looking after the house. You are doing so much for us. And, believe me; being with you is as good as being happy.”

After two years of hard work, I was finally ready to give the exams. I anticipated the results, but Eva gave me hope and said, “Noah, don’t worry, you would clear the examination with flying colors. I know you had put all your efforts in the preparations.” And I did pass with flying colors. When the results were announced Eva broke down. It was the happiest day of our lives. With tears in her eyes, Eva hugged me and said, “Noah, let’s celebrate your win” and broke down completely in my arms, I too let my tears roll down my cheeks.

Our life became a living fairly tale. After getting the job, we rented a bigger house. Eva and I decorated the house with zest. We had knitted all our dreams in and around those four walls. But unlike all fairytales, our life didn’t end on the ‘happily ever after’ note.

For my work I had to travel a lot and had to frequently go on tours. At those Eva would say, “Bring me something beautiful, when you return.” She loved bangles and I would buy all sorts of bangles for her. But once when I was on a work trip, I received a call from Eva. I picked up and an excited Eva started talking, “Hello Noah! You know, today mom called after so many years. I talked her for hours. And we cried a little too.” Although I could not see her through the cell phone but I knew that she still had tears in her eyes. She said, “I want to spend some time with them, so I have booked bus tickets for our village.”

I was happy too, until a thought crossed my mind. What if her parents don’t allow her to come back, what if they persuade her to divorce me? I was baffled at the thought of losing her. She was the love of my life, my support system and the backbone of my life. I warned her to not visit her parents. But she did not listen to me. I was tensed. For the next two days I did not answer her calls or texts. I was upset. But who knew this would be the last time I would listen to her voice.

By the time I returned my city, I was happy. But uncertainty was still there, I did not know if I would meet Eva or not. As I reached home my greatest fears had come true. I expected her to be back by my return and that is what she told me but Eva was nowhere to be seen. But then my cell phone started to ring. It was an unknown number. I picked it up and the person at the other end said something that I had never ever imagined even in my worst dreams. The person was from a local hospital and he said, “Excuse me sir! Are you Eva Duke’s husband? I am sorry to inform you that her life is in danger. The bus she was travelling in met with an accident. And she is seriously injured. Could you please come down to identify her?” I was dumbfounded or was I numb? I certainly did not know how to react. My lips quivered for a bit and I cried my heart out. I could see my happy life falling apart.

I rushed down to the hospital immediately. There were a lot of patients, maybe from the same bus. But my eyes were searching Eva. After a lot of struggle, I found her lying in a bed, motionless. My heart skipped a beat. There was an inner turmoil going on within me. I just couldn’t believe what was happening around me. One moment I am happy and the other I’m sad, I feel like tearing apart. Life has been unfair to me, and it’s still being the same. Seeing Eva in the hospital bed, among thousands of wires and machines made me feel sick. I felt helpless.

Days passed and turned into months, Eva did not recover. She was in coma for six months. I was told that, she cannot hear me, but I knew she could listen to me. And so I talked to her every day. While coming back from office, I would visit Eva in the hospital and stay there for hours until the visiting hours were over. But going to home meant depressing me. I couldn’t face the reality. It was hard for me to live in a house where Eva and I had created our dreams.

It had been five years now, Eva was still in coma. Now, I had started visiting Eva even more. I was told by the doctors to be ready anytime, for any bad news. The doctor said, “Mr. Noah, I don’t know how to convey this to you, but you need to be ready anytime for a bad news. I know how is it to lose a loved one, but now nothing’s in our hands. We think, we should take her off the ventilator. She’s is not responding to the treatment. And it’s been 5 years. We really don’t have any hope.” I was furious and answered back, “How would you know the pain of losing your one and only family member.”I was breathless. The doctor tried to console me, but I pushed him away.

That night I didn’t leave Eva for even a moment. I talked to her about our olden times in school. It was a one sided conversation, but it didn’t matter, as far as I was with her. Eventually, I fell asleep. And when I woke up, I saw Eva sitting upright. She looked at me once and giggled. The sun was rising and we were again gazing at it, again. She looked at me once and said, “Noah, you remember I once told you that I wanted to travel to the sun?”

“Yes.” I replied back.

“I think now is the time. I will now travel to the Sun.”

“I also want to come with you. Don’t leave me alone here.”

“No, Noah. Don’t you know, you can’t come with me? You will come, when you are destined. Now set me free Noah, set me free.”

“Yes Eva, I do want to set you free but promise me that you will always wait for me, won’t you?”

“Yes I would, wait for you, forever.”

With that she flew away. Suddenly, I heard some noise and opened my eyes. I saw Eva, still lying in bed, motionless. I had just dreamt of her. But the noise was still there. I turned my heads to face the screen, Eva’s heartbeat went up and down and then all of a sudden, the crooked lines ceased into a straight line. Eva was dead. She had gone, because I let her go. I had set her free. And I know she will be waiting for me, forever and ever.

Now that I write this sitting across a lake, seeing the moon reflecting itself, I know that Eva has gone and I would never have another person to bond over sunrise.