Unicorns and Plushy Pajamas

It isn't a new idea for Ned Peters, sitting on the foot of his bed admiring the tight pants and white unicorn tank top. He bought the outfit three weeks ago in secret with the intention of wearing it the first day of his senior year. Fear overpowered the urge to be himself and he wore his normal baggy jeans and a Doja Cat T.

He is popular and loved at school. He is the starter of the basketball team and all the girls swoon over him. Ned is the stereotypical homecoming King, yet has never had a girlfriend. He tells his boys that he finds female attention outside of town, "The girls in this school are just girls. I can get real woman in the city."

He doesn't fancy women or girls. He doesn't like the color red, which he pretends is his favorit color in the real world, because yellow is a weak color. He likes Taylor Swift and shiny thing. He likes movies and books that make him cry and he likes unicorns. He is uncomfortable in his jersey and lose fitting pants. He hates the "in trend" music and likes tunes that he can dance too.

He stands up and grabs the clothes from the hanger, walks determinally to the bathroom, and starts removing his plush pajama suit. This is the day. This is his moment. No more hating life and pretending to be someone else. He is wearing the unicorn loud and proud and no matter how people look at him he will hold his chin up and breath freedom.

All eyes on him as he walks down the hall toward Homeroom. Girls look confused and boys are laughing. He knows his face is red and he starts to shake. Why do people care what he wears? How does his unicorn have such an impact on their lives? What does it matter if the popular kid chooses to wear tight pants.

"Nice Ned! What happened, did you lose a bet or something?!" His "best friend" chokes out between bouts of laughter. Chris is known as Ned's side-kick. Ned doesn't mind Chris but still doesn't share his secrets and his real self with the boy. Ned doesn't have a best friend.

"No." Ned puts on a serious face and raises his chin. "I like this shirt."

Chris stops laughing and his eyebrows pull together. "For real?"

"Yes." Ned crosses his arms and sets his expression to that of someone immovable.

The tension in the air is so thick now you couldn't cut it with a knife. The hall is so quiet, no one moves, just looks at Ned looking at the ceiling. He keeps his face stoic and concentrates on not showing his fear. On the inside he is melting, wondering why it is so wrong for a boy to like unicorns; wondering why he was born into this body.

Ned squeezes his hands into fists and then looks Chris in the eyes. Chris looks confused and uncomfortable, but he holds Ned's gaze. Ned moves his eyes around the corridor and meets the gaze of everyone in the hall. Some people drop their gazes to the floor and others have a look of pity, while the rest have the same look as Chris does.

Ned unfolds his arms and calmly walks into the class room. The silence is broken and the air is filled with the hushed swish of everyone moving again. People take their seats and Ned tries to ignore the whispers and stares. He is wondering how long the awkwardness will last.

Throughout the day people try to act normal but the uncomfortable aura never dissipates. Conversations and jokes feel forced. Ned is unable to concentrate in class because he can't get through the fog of discomfort. The internal battle of regret against the aggrivation that his preferences disrupt other people's lives leaves him undecided and confused.

While he wants to force a laugh and tell the entire school, "Gotcha!" then just go back to living in a fantasy world that makes everyone else happy, Ned also wants to go buy a rainbow backpack, die his hair yellow and purple, and flip everybody the bird.

He knods his head resigning that he is going to the mall when school lets out. Why should he care what they think of him? Let them stare! Maybe he should make it a goal to be so bold everyday that it forces people to look. It could be fun to see how many people he can bother daily just by being himself.

He will probably lose his friend and his status as "The Most Popular Person In School." But he isn't even sure he ever even wanted those things. This lie he has been living is exhausting, and he can't even remember how he ended up here. He just wants to be himself.

The final bell rings and Ned walks down the hallway as if it is a runway in a Paris fashion show. He is going straight to the mall to replace his entire wardrobe with yellow blouses and tight jeans, glittery jackets and rainbow hightops to match that backpack he saw in the window. He is going to end the day with a manicure, maybe even get his nails painted!

Chris and the boys watch him exit the building. No one says a word. What is there to say? Chris feels sad, like his best friend just moved across seas. The rest of the crew is looking to Chris for guidance on how to handle the situation. Chris lifts his head and decides it is best to act like none of this ever happened.

Ned redecorates his room to better represent his real taste and fills his closet with colors and comfort! He sits on the foot of his bed looking at his pretty pink and yellow nails with a smile on his face. This wasn't a new idea for Ned, but it is the first time Ned has ever felt this alive.

He has no reservations about Chris and the boys or the basketball team slipping out of his grasp. He wasn't even holding onto those things, they were gripping him. He is more than ready to replace his crown with a tierra.

For the first time in Ned's entire life he sleeps through the night with his colorful hair, snug in his plush pajamas, and wrapped in a silky yellow comforter surrounded by white hanging mesh drapes.

9 months later, she is standing in line on stage waiting to hear her new name. "Nadeya Peters." She starts walking forward in her shiny pale yellow pumps, the stage is her catwalk. Nadeya shakes the Super Intendant's hand and takes her diploma. Her smile is genuine and her resolve is strong. She is ready to stay true to herself and with that she can take on the world!