MR.POSTMAN

Well you have to know that checking the mail can be quite a different experience daily. And everyone you and I and all before us and many after us. Will be waiting on the postman.Theres going to be either good news or bad news. And definitely bills credit card statements to remind you of all the fun you had 2 weekends ago right? I check my mail everyday like you should. Then there's the ones like my mother who don't check their mail for days. Which I'm sure frustrates the postman. I mean you could only imagine having to stuff more mail into a box that is already crammed full. Also wouldn't you see it as rude I mean the postmans doing his job daily so why couldn't everyone check their mailbox daily. Funny don't you think?! The things you think of I think every single person i dated told me that at least once or twice. Strange It seemed that I thought of my mother on my way to the mailbox alot of different times.I remember all of her catalogs as well as perfume samples. I dont know how your relationship with your mother is. Mine well its going on 6 years 6 long years since we talked last.And im still baffled on the reason why? You would think we had some big falling out. Like screaming at eachother on one of those gritty talk shows. Nope! She just stopped talking me. I called her to you know see how she was doing. My grandmothers funeral was last time we spoke. She asked me no told me to please not call again don't text,call or stop by. Of course I disobeyed all requests. In the end I wished that i would of obeyed because rejection is not cool. And to be rejected or just plain ignored is the biggest ouch.Im not sure what kind of mailbox you have but mines the big silver box with 9 different spaces. So the usual bill,bill local advertisements and then what. My heart sank I knew that handwriting and in purple ink. I always loved how elegant she wrote my name. Like it really meant something to her. Well she did name me. Now I was trembling but happy and I hadn't even opened it yet. "That's it?" can you believe it?! A check with "your share " written in the corner. Nothing else no explanation. No hi !How have you been (my only daughter)? How would you have felt?! Man somedays I hated the POSTMAN!

Walking back to my apartment I passed a mother and teenage daughter arguing about her choice of friends. Figures how that would just fit into my life. Isn't it crazy when quirky little things happen like that? There was a point in my life when way out weird situations would happen to me. The kinds of things that had you looking around for camera's. Like there had to be some around where's the commentator to tell you what new show you're on. Yeah never happened it was just life and that strange sense of humor. Wouldn't you wonder sometimes? Because the whole getting a check from my mom with no letter. To passing a daughter and mom arguing about one of our greatest arguments. I threw myself backwards onto my super comfy bed. Of course with some clothes on it and i think a notebook and purse. Yeah i just can't seem to shake the habit of having things on my bed. I so wanted to call my mom and ask "wtf Lucy?!" Just didn't happen.

I woke up to my alarm wow after a good cry. You know the almost can't catch your breath kind of cry? Total sobbing baby. I just really miss my mom. It's alot different when they are stilll alive. It seems like it hurts so much more than when someone has passed. I don't know about you but for me I felt like "what's so awful about me ?" Just what in the heck did I do so wrong. My grandmothers death was super hard on all of us. Ok ok shake this off . Time to get ready for zumba with the seniors. Thank goodness it was Sunday no having to check the mail today.

I trotted down to my mailbox quickly before throwback zumba for moms. I loved this class some funky old school music and moms without their kiddies. It felt good to see them feeling good. Good vibes! Figured this would be best way to check my dreaded mail. Soon as I saw the postman I put on my tennies and headed out. The postman and I waved to eachother. Ok so as I figured my mailbox was pretty full waiting 4 days to check. I won't do that again for sure!! Did you ever think sbout the U.S. postal system?How many letters and well just mail has been passed. What about when the postman traveled by horseback or wagon. What was their motto? Through rain,sleet or snow they promised to get your mail to you. There's alot of history there. Just as I was in thought I didn't even hear him run up. "232?" It took me a second. "You are 232 right?" Silly me "Yes ,yes!" I replied. Just then our eyes met the postman and I . And i noticed that darn elegant purple writing on the envelope he was handing me. "Sorry it must of fell in my truck my apologies." I just smiled and took it. Bye Mr. Postman. So now i looked at this envelope in my hand and thought "what next?" I opened it and started reading. Dear Tracy im so sorry i thought i had put this letter in with your check. See what i mean the letter was misplaced twice. What exactly are the chances of that? Enlighten me. I read on and i couldn't even finish it because of tears in my eyes. I did see where it said call me. So I did. "Hello." "Mamma?" "Tracy!"