I do not remember a time when I am not anxious.
My mind's enthroned in the seventh circle of despair.
There she sits, on her wheelchair, rolling her eyes in wonder wearing a wistful of questioning. Questions she had no answers to and questions she trusted no one to answer them for her.
But sometimes the answers are not worth the hustle especially when the answers make her more tense and nervous, and even make her forget the little she had sieved from her past.
Eight months into her Alzheimer's and her memory had been wiped clean.
'Alzheimer's is a disease that has different turns on different people.' The doctor had told us at our last consultation, eight months ago.
But eight months is a quick time to just forget it all. As if it was never there.
Therapy sessions proved futile and the pictures from our album did not even spark an ounce of reminiscent.
But four days ago she remembered something.
Her little girl.
A tinker of hope relinquished in my spirits. I never thought I'd feel it.
And I'd do anything to sustain it.
By sustaining, I mean raising the money for the doctor's consultation fee. I had drained dry every single cent from my parent's bank accounts, for her therapy and medications, and the only thing left was the insurance policy my parents had left me, which she was made the sole administrator of.
And all I needed was her signature of authorisation, so I could use the money. But the Alzheimer's had taken a huge turn on her and she could not remember about the insurance, making her too adamant to sign it. At one point she called me a swindler for wanting to steal her money. And another a greedy manipulator. This leaving me in the mercies of my a hundred jobs and the good will of those who could be that good enough which even could hardly pay off well enough.
Juggling through my plumbing jobs in the mornings, deliveries at noon and bar waitress during the night plus baby sitting through the weekends just brought in enough for the doctor's consultation.
As to why, we were here patiently waiting outside his office today for a check up
She seemed more calmer and relaxed today compared to other days. I gave her two times the sedatives today, hoping they wouldn't wear out before we were back home.
"Are you okay, godmother." I ask her when I notice the worry she drew in her eyes.
She did not reply, just stared at me then kept looking at the wall. Lost.
"Do you need anything." I insisted.
"No, I already told you I do not know who you are and I don't need anything from you. " she raises her voice, just loud enough.
"Its me godmother, Vida, your little girl." I force a faint smile, hoping she'd familiarise.
"What little girl."
"The little girl, you rememberd me the other day, that was me."
"I don't know what you are talking, what little girl did I remember." she says beaming with no pleasurable anticipation
"You seriously don't remember,"
"Why, are you calling me crazy now, did you just call me crazy."
"Godmother, there's somethings you don't remember, you have this disease- "
She did not let me finish.
"Wait, what disease, why does everyone say am sick, am okay, why are we even here, am fine, I remember everything. I have a kid and a man, you just refuse to take me to them."
"Its not like that, your family left you a long time ago and that's why my parents took you to live with us, godmother, dont you remember." I don't know know how easy a smile slid from my face.
"You're lying, my family would never leave me, because I loved them. Your lying." sadness prevailed in her tone.
"Don't you remember. Am your little girl."
She did not speak for a while. The room fell into a dreamy silence. No one was around, we were the last of the patients and the ones before us had just got in, so it was just the two of us.
This was the right time to bring it up.
"Godmother, there's this insurance policy, my parents left me that you're in charge of, you need to sign it so we could continue to treat you, and I could go back to school."
School was a foreign concept for me. Even between my jobs, I'd not balance school stuff and all, so I had to give up one. And it had to be the one that did not bring food on the table.This was not the kind of life my parents would have wanted for me, and this wasn't the kind of life I familiarised with.
But I was going to work just as hard.
How things change.
"Am not sick, what parents are you talking about and I already told you, you cannot steal from me" seriousness lurked in the depth of her eyes.
Tears now freely flowing, I said "You should fight this, you have to get better, for us, don't leave me to this"
"Stop crying, you'll make me feel guilty for doing nothing, I told you, I don't know who you are, so I cant help." A pit of sincere concern sounded in her voice
She kept repeating words. 'I don't know who you are'.
Was this getting worse.
Fishing out a picture from my bag hoping she'd remember something. I always carried it around, just in case her condition was to change. It was a picture of both us, in some street, the day my parents had a huge fight, and I had gone to cry it out, then she found me lying on the grass, like she always knew where she could find me. We were so happy.
I hoped it would spark something. Although several times I showed her but nothing
I placed it on her lap, pointing it with my index finger.
"Do you remember this,"
Totally unbothered, she lifted the picture to her face, giving it the microscopic minutenes of her eyes, scrutinizing, and suddenly a trench of tears ebbed from her eyes, flooding her satin scarf that she had been using to wipe them off.
"You cried your eyes out and I could not stop you. And when you stopped crying, you started laughing on your own."
"Vida, my little girl."
"Next" a voice barked to call us in.
"Let's go in now Godmother."
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Aside from a couple grammatical mistakes, this story is a masterpiece. Forgetting someone you love... losing them... how it can be its own monster. You turned a simple prompt into a thoughtful story of Alzheimer's and family. Wonderful job. I admire you. I would love it if you could check out my stories, too! :)
Thank you so much for the admiration. I am so flattered. Of course I'd check out your story too
No problem, and thank you
This was a touching story. Tears brimmed my waterline threatening to break their dam. A suggestion though. If you can proof read your story before posting, it will help. Grammar and sentence formation including punctuation were a bit off. Your are imaginative with a good narrative. Good luck and cheers ✌️✌️✌️
Thank you so much😂🤩🤩am flattered and happy...i will work on the areas you mentioned
This was such a strong story. It really got me. The only issue was a few grammatical errors. Apart from that I totally loved it.💙 Well, would you mind checking out my story if you have time? I would really appreciate a response. Thank you.
Thank you. I appreciate it. I will surely check on your story..❤
Wow! Lovely story, I had to wipe a tear from my eye! Amazingly written, but the grammar could be tightened at some places I feel, and some backstory into their relationship and some memories of the past would have made it all the better, so that we could understand their relationship more. Other than that, I really liked it!
Thank You So much. I will work on it. I appreciate it.
No problem! :)
Really Worth Reading...It drove me to the end. I don't know what grammar mistakes you committed. I don't care. The story is so immersive.
Hahhhaaa...thank u, I know you don't know this but you have made my day. I'll work on the grammar anyway🤣
Alzheimer's emotionally affect families, that is a fact that even I can confirm. I love how you've coloured your story with emotion and constructed it really well with realistic dialogue. The story is lovely and I love how you've presented it considering that I have a brother with Alzheimer's. I love the flow of your story,it blinded me from the typos. Lovely piece of work which brings you out as a gifted writer. It would be an honour to me if you took a look at just one of my stories. Great work you did here Yvette.
Thank you so much. You do not know how your comment made my day and I appreciate your love for my story. I'll work on the typos amd yes I would definitely look up on your book❤
Loved the ending...it was open ended but still satisfying. You had a great idea and your backstory/characterization of your narrator (her numerous jobs, work ethic, empathy) is well done. I would say to be careful with your tenses and grammar, but that’s something easily fixed. Another suggestion would be to span your story across time, rather than a singular moment. You can add a lot of emotional depth by showing how the disease progressed, how it affected Vida, the events that led up to them sitting in that waiting room or something like t...
Yeah i think so too...Thank you for your opinion and insights
This was a beautiful story about family and the ties that bind us together. I think you could have gone back and revised a little, but who am I to judge? I usually post first drafts myself. On that very note, it's important to pay attention to areas we have faults in. Not just our success, but failure itself is a powerful educational tool. I believe this sentence could have been worded better in order to achieve your point with stronger emphasis. "This leaving me in the mercies of my a hundred jobs and the good will of those who could be...
Thank you so much...I will definitely qork on those areas you mentioned.(❤
We both wrote about Alzheimer's. For such a sad disease, I am glad your story had a happy ending. Thank you for sharing your piece.
You're welcome.....wow...we both have great stories. Thanks for the comment❤
You are most welcome.
This is such a touching story. Dementia is such a cruel illness and you showed this well. The worst bits are the flashes of hope you get and this was a strong theme in your writing. Good job!
Thank you so much. I appreciate it❤
You’re welcome! If you have time and are interested, feel free to check any of mine out too!
I really enjoyed reading the story. You have a compelling voice and connect well with the reader drawing our emotions. Try reading your story out loud, it will help with sentence structure, grammar and punctuation.
I will, I have actually read and it sounds so queer...thank you so much for your correction and complement ...I appreciate it with my whole heart❤
This is so heart wrenching😢. Such a beautiful yet painful at the same time.❤ I just loved it 👏
This was an emotionally intriguing story that has authenticity. You were able, through dialogue, mainly, to fill out the characters and to make them sympathetic. I will echo some of the other comments, that in your revisions you will need to look at the grammar. The guts (plot) of the story are well laid out. The story flows as a reader is caught up in the 'feelings' of the story. Reading a lot of various writing (novels, short stories, etc) will sharpen your ear for grammar when you read your stories out loud. Well done.
Aaw thank you so much. I sure will work on my grammar... I appreciate your comments and thumbs up. It means alot. And am glad you loved my story. Thank you again
Wow this was a touching story! Like the first comment said, there were some grammar mistakes, for example the second line “ I do not remember a time when I am not anxious” I think would flow better if it was “... when I was not anxious” or maybe “there is never a moment when I am not anxious.” I’m by no means a grammar expert though that’s just my opinion. But the grammar didn’t take away from the beauty of the story, it was really sad but such a lovely story, good job!
Thank you so much. I have issues with the tense that am currently working on. I sure will correct on that. I appreciate it.
I know it’s tricky, I actually struggle with that myself so I completely understand. And I’m sure as you write and read more it will get easier :) but other than that it was such a beautiful piece of writing.
Glad you loved it.