A Cancer

I was waiting on the hospital bed waiting for the worst news to come. Finally, a person called Doctor Grace comes into the room that my mom and I are waiting in. 

"Mike," said Doctor Grace, with her big tender brown eyes looking sadly into mine, "I don't think you are going to live next year. You have stage 3 leukemia, it's a cancer of the blood." I looked over at my mom whose face had gone pale white. She looks like she has got the wind blow out of her. I want to squeeze her tight into my arms but the tubes in my nose and the IV pole are stopping me from moving anywhere.

"I'm so sorry, mom. I've been such a terrible son. I promise that you’ll never have to deal with me again next year." I managed to say these words without crying, but every inch of me wants to release those tears. 

“Oh, Mike, don’t say that, you will live through this year and survive the next. All you have to do is stay strong and fight. Without you, I-I don’t know what I’ll do with my life”. Mom looks desperately at Doctor Grace and asks.

“Is there a cure for this cancer?” asks my mom with her eyes full of sorrow looking at Grace. It hurts seeing my mom like this. She looks heartbroken and if there is anything in the world that would make her feel better, I’m sure it’s me getting better and arriving home in time for Christmas.

“Well, we could do chemotherapy, it’s using medication to kill all of the cancer cells in Mike’s body. But at the same time, you are going to have to take some other medications to stop your cells from growing. Basically, your nails will stop growing, and your hair will fall out.” Doctor Grace looks at me and says “What do you say, Mike, are you up for it?” She looks at me with such confidence that, you know what, I thought I had a chance of survival. My mom’s eyes shined with so much hope that it felt like her eyes were already blasting me with radiation. “Ok, we are going to finish off some other tests and we are getting right to it!”

I was so happy that I could’ve jumped out of my bed. “Can you believe it,” I shouted, “ I have a chance to live!”. But at the same time, if I didn’t survive my mom would have to pay thousands of dollars towards my hospital bill. God. I wish that life and death wouldn’t be so complicated. A nurse came into our room with all my test results. She had navy blue scrubs and had a beautiful smile. 

“Well,” she started “your test results are in and you will be discharged from the hospital by the end of the day. You are going to have to take some medications, they are called Cytarabine and Idarubicine. After you take these, you will lose your hair and it would be perfectly normal to feel dizzy and tired, if you have any questions just ask Doctor Grace.” The nurse started pulling out the tubes and needles stuck to me. Finally, after hours of waiting for the worst, I get to go home and have a little time to rest. 

“Oh,” remembered the nurse, “chemo starts on Thursday, three days from now. I’ll send your mother, Danielle, an email with all the other details.”

When the nurse left, I headed towards the bathroom in the room. I took off my hospital gown and replaced it with a pair of bleached jeans, a plain white shirt and a grey sweatshirt. I look into the mirror in front of me and I see a boy in his mid-teens. He has bright chocolate brown eyes and wavy black hair up to his ears. He had dimpled olive coloured skin with a heart-shaped face.

I heard my mom coming back from her meeting with Doctor Grace. I whip out of the bathroom and look at her waiting to see her expression. She was wearing a sad smile and said, “It’s going to be okay.” I smile back and tell her “It will.”. I wish dad was here, he would’ve helped mom go through this, but unfortunately, he died in a plane crash two years ago. 

We head out of the hospital to find that it was already dark outside, we go into the parking lot and I see our Honda Civic parked outside waiting to be driven. 

I get in the back of the car and wonder how much time I have before I die. Not a word is spoken between my mom and I on the way home, although I feel the immense tension between us. We got into our tiny apartment and ate instant noodles since it was much too late to cook food. I take my medication before retiring to bed. 

The next morning, I noticed that my hair had already started shedding. The next two days are the same. I got excused from school and I just lay around all day doing nothing but looking through my phone and eating more instant noodles. I just hoped that those noodles would do any good.

 A few years ago, I was asked at the beginning of the school year, if there was one food you would eat for the rest of your life, what would it be? I answered that it would be instant noodles. Who knew that it would be what I’d eat for the rest of my life. I don’t think that's all I’m going to eat, but I’m settling for this right now.

Throughout the two days, I also considered texting my friends, but after a long time to think about it, I figured I would tell them later. My mom and I waited patiently for the big day to arrive and I would finally have my first session of chemotherapy.

I woke up at noon on Thursday ready for my first session. I brought my phone and my earbuds and I ran down the stairs of my tiny apartment and met my mom outside who just came home from work. 

She asked, “How was your day, Mike?”. I just kept quiet, ignored the question and waited for the engine to start running. But it didn’t run. “I asked you a question, what is your answer?” she asked again. 

“Are you really asking me 'how was your day’ in such a casual tone when my life just got turned around, WAKE UP MOM! I have stage 3 blood cancer, it would be a miracle if I survived until the new year. You should be asking, ‘how many days do you have until you die and I finally get rid of you!’ ” I yell.

“Mike, I know it has been very hard on you lately but it doesn’t mean you should talk to me in that tone of voice.” she said sternly “Mike, how was your day?” she asked again.

All I could say after that was “It was fine.”. I zoned out looking out the window.  When we arrived at the hospital reception, a nurse showed us the way to the chemo room where I was going to get my treatment. I got comfy on a chair and waited for Doctor Grace to come and inject me for the treatment. My medication comes in like a bag on an IV pole. 

I took out my phone and started browsing on the internet, suddenly a question struck me. How will I feel after I die? Will it hurt, will it feel like nothing or will I just not have any memory or existence anymore. I fell into the death questioning rabbit hole for a long time until my mom said something. 

“Honey, if you need anything, anything at all, I’ll be right here.”. I smiled, not everyone liked my personality, but my mom is probably the only one who likes me as a whole.

“Don’t worry, I don’t need anything right now,” I assured her. I don’t want to worry her by telling her about all my thoughts about death since it might scare her. I keep scrolling through Tik Tok and occasionally chuckle.

Suddenly, I feel immense pain in my chest. I hear doctors and nurses rushing towards me. “We’re losing him!” I hear you in the background. A nurse starts performing CPR on me as I daze out, it’s total pandemonium, nurses rushing, doctors calling out orders and everything. Finally, I hear a sad voice call throughout the room “time of death: 2:37 pm.”. 

I slowly go through a bizarre experience, I levitate from my body and into the air. I was still wearing the same clothes that I was wearing just a few moments ago.

Where am I? 

What am I doing here?

Hello?

Helloooo?

I floated towards my mom who was looking horrified, staring at my body. I reached over to hug her and tell her that I was okay. I extended my hand but when I did, my hand went right through her, as if I wasn’t there.

I hear a voice echoing.

“Mike? Is that you?” said a voice with a thick southern accent.

I spin around, and I see an olive-skinned man with curly black hair, he looked fit and was wearing a pilot suit. He had a kind smile that looked just like mine. I’ve got to say, I couldn’t resist crying with tears of joy. It was really him, it was my father.

“Oh man, it really is you, I miss you so much!” I run towards him and hug him, he feels warm and soft. “What do I do now,” I ask him, “Do we just wait and see the world moving on without us.” 

He looks at me with his chocolate brown eyes, “Well, there are some perks of being dead.”

Wait, what! I’m dead, how is that possible? It feels like a dream but at the same time, it feels so real.

“What, what happened, you look like you swallowed a pill?” he asked. 

“Hold on, I’m dead? Like dead-dead? Are you legit?” I stammered. He knitted his brows “Yeah, man, you’re dead, what else do you think you are?” he asked.

“Hold on there, I’ll explain everything when we go to the other side.” Dad snapped his fingers and a blue swirly portal appeared in front of us.“Well, what are you waiting for, get in!” he laughed brightly as we both stepped in.

THE END