The Path She Chose

Living in a semi-large house with a wife or husband and two kids had most likely always been the ideal lifestyle for most people. Maybe that house could overlook the vast ocean and the setting sun sinking below the horizon would create such magnificent colours in the soon-to-be night sky. It would be a wonderful sight to see, especially for those ignorant and naive of the world’s cruelties. But also to those who are curious and inspired by the beauty of nature. 

Or perhaps your preferred manner of living is the bustling and hustling city, where opportunities are the brightest and where most young dreamers earn their keep. It is where the people never sleep, either partying or working, and the streetlights scintillate with pride in their bulbs. Meeting new people would be an everyday event and a potential partner could be amongst them as well. With the buildings as high as the sky and parks that amuse many and wondrous moving carts on rails, it would be preposterous to ever feel ennui in this place of fascination.

For Sam, her life had come to always be mundane and uneventful. Sleeping, eating and school work were her daily routine - tired of it she was, but she would not trade it for any other life. It was not difficult for Sam, and she liked it that way. She dared not to seek out excitement and yet, she longed for it. Waiting would not do her much good - however, Sam believed that things did not just happen without a reason. 

Like numerous others, Sam lived in an ordinary household with an older brother and two parents, a mother and a father. Living in a suburban area with many neighbours, she had many friends, such as Grace (cheerful as one could be, volunteers at the local church), Ali (the smart kid, often helps students with their homework - for a price of course) and Zhang (the kind exchange student, likes to hand his stressed peers chewing gum). With the immense number of individuals, Sam did not feel lonely, of course that would not be the case, mayhaps it was only that she yearned for something more than that minute space.

Sam was sitting by the large window, on that moving and rusted carriage, when a young girl positioned herself next to her. The dark hair that curled down towards her lower back looked as if she had not ever brushed in her lifetime. Everything about the other seemed inky and gloomy to her, from the clothing she dressed in to the expression her face twisted into. Never before had Sam encountered another human even remotely similar to that girl. 

Besides the continuous sound of the vehicle’s wheels sliding along the railway tracks, only silence hung in the air between the two of them. Sam, of course, did not feel comfortable with the situation at all, whilst the girl did not seem bothered but also did not look extremely joyful about the matter either. However, there were no more available seating, so they would either have to put up with it or one of them would have to stand for another hour or so. Neither wanted the latter.

“If you no like Penny, Penny move.” The girl had said. 

Sam had to take a moment to process what the other was talking about, “Penny?”

The shorter girl pointed to herself, “Name, Penny.”

Sam made a motion of understanding, “Your name is Penny?” Penny nodded. “My name is Sam, and it is okay, I do not mind your presence.”

“Presence?” Penny asked.

“Presence,” Sam repeated, “It is your existence, or state of being.”

“Existence?” 

“It is the state of living.” She explained. 

The pair continued just like this, getting more used to each other with Penny asking endless questions and Sam answering. She did not mind - in fact, she liked aiding the young girl. Penny was cute, in her eyes, and Sam felt like she had to protect her. And she was glad she felt that way.

“Why is there an outcast on this train?” A man sneered at Penny and roughly grabbed onto her arm, “You have no place here, girl, I bet you are trying to steal off that nice young lady over there.”

Sam hesitated for a moment, “Penny has every right to be on this train as much as you or I!”

The elder and clearly stronger male looked almost confused, but that only fueled his unknown hatred towards Sam’s newfound friend, “Why are you defending it? This thing should go back to where it belongs - in the dump with the rest of those outcasts.” His grip on Penny only seemed to tighten, leaving a bruise for sure.

Sam did not know how to deal with this situation - in fact, she was scared right down to her boots. She wanted to run away, but Sam could not just leave her newly made companion with a being such as that man. Sam was puzzled as to why the man was reacting as such towards Penny; however, she was more appalled to the fact that no other human in the carriage dared to step in.

The passengers watched, like the cowards they were, and Sam listened, for she was too weak, as Penny was ridiculed and insulted. The girl did not scream for the man to let her go, nor did she cry or kick or try to get free. And, when she gazed upon the other girl and saw the guilt that radiated off Sam in waves, she only closed her eyes. Penny was used to it.

“You’re filthy,” he spat, “you don’t belong here, and no one except your own will accept you for the dirty rat you are.” 

Penny let herself be dropped down to her knees once the man let go of her arm, now sore and bruised with shades of blue and green. Once the male had left the now stopped vehicle, Sam hurried to her side and tried to hug her. Penny shrugged the other girl off.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said, looking down into her lap. She could not look at her, “I’m sorry that I’m weak. I’m so sorry, Penny, that this had to happen and I could not do anything.” 

The other did not respond. And that was how it stayed. Occasionally, Sam would try to make conversation with Penny, about her arm and how she was feeling, if she needed to go to the hospital or to call her parents and so on. But only silence greeted her inquiries. 

Whenever Sam would think about that moment on the train all those years ago, she would never forget the look in Penny’s eyes as the train doors closed. It was furious and unforgiving of the world. She could not help but think that maybe if she had the courage to stop that man, that look would be different. And if she ever had the chance to change the course of time, she would take it, for Sam had lost gained and lost a friend in a matter of minutes.

“If only I was just a little braver,” Sam said aloud to herself one late night. All of her emotions of guilt and grief and regret poured out of her voice in waterfalls, revealing themselves in the midst of doubt, “if only I had chosen a different path.”