So It Goes

Jeremy peddled down long dark country roads illuminated only by the light of a cell phone strapped to the front of his bicycle. This last year had been the worst in his life. It began with a layoff from his job in the spring sending him into a mountain of debt and by the end of the summer, he lost custody of his daughter, Maddie. His tiny bachelor apartment was bare bones dawning only a small flat-screen TV, a dirty mattress on the floor, and a growing stack of unpaid bills on the kitchen counter. On top of that, the creditors were relentless, calling him at all hours of the day and night until the phone company finally shut off his phone. 

One night after another failed job interview, Jeremy popped open a half-eaten container of ice cream and turned on the TV. He dug out the last pieces of cookie dough buried at the bottom of the ice cream container when a news story caught his attention. There had been a series of gas station robberies and the police were asking for the public’s help with finding the suspect. They played a blurry black-and-white clip of the robbery and a generic description of the suspect split the screen. The News Anchor declared that the public should be on the lookout for a 6-foot heavyset man wearing a black hoodie and black balaclava. 

The story replayed over and over in Jeremy’s head that night. It planted a seed in his brain that he could not shake, and by the next morning it had sprouted into a full-blown plan of action. He would commit a robbery. 

Over the next few days, Jeremy sat down and worked out all the details. He would bike far enough away from where he lived and rob a gas station just like the suspect had done. Jeremy recalled a station he had biked past a few times before that was smack dab in the middle of nowhere. A quick google search using the neighbor's WIFI informed him that there were no police stations for miles around it. There would be security cameras up everywhere, but he had the perfect idea to remove him as a potential suspect, a fat suit. When the police looked at the camera footage, they would be searching for the same heavy-set man with a black hoodie and balaclava. They wouldn’t be looking for someone matching his skinny green bean exterior. 

A week later and here he was, strapped tightly into a makeshift fat suit consisting of couch pillows and duct tape. The tape cut into his knees when he biked, and his butt crack had never been sweatier but he deemed it a success overall. The size 3XL hoodie made him look believable enough, despite the occasional lump and smell of a musty couch.

Jeremy glanced down at his watch for the time, 8:32. He had 28 minutes to get the job done before the gas station closed at 9:00 pm. As he biked fervently along, the road in front of him dipped down a steep hill. He let gravity take the bike forward down the hill and steadied one hand on the handlebar while he used the other one to reach into the pocket of his hoodie. 

Jeremy fished around his pockets until his fingers felt af amiliar tangled mess of headphones. He popped a headphone in each ear and plugged the headphones into the phone taped to the front of his bike. It had no service, but he managed to download a few songs of his favorite songs and directions to the store. Jeremy scrolled through the cracked phone screen and turned on some heavy metal music he used to play to get pumped up before a big game. When the lead singer screamed out “how could you forget about me, the

world has forgotten but I won’t forget” he peddled harder against the wind.  

Jeremy’s bike tires kicked up rocks from the gravel on the side of the road and he began to feel almost weightless. His legs peddled wildly, and the rest of the world faded away until there was just him, his labored breath, and the perfect symphony of heavy metal in his ears. 

That was until a bright white light quickly approaching him caused him to turn his head. By the time Jeremy registered the speeding car, it had already struck the back wheel of his bike. The collision sent a heavy shockwave through his body and thrust him off his seat and into midair. He hit the ground hard with a thump, his body landing in a crumbled mess in the thrush on the side of the road. 

When Jeremy opened his eyes, he was surprised to see his body illuminated in red light. This must be hell, he thought, but he didn’t feel dead. His entire being ached but he was able to move his toes and fingers. The couch pillows strapped tightly to his body had cushioned most of the blow.  

“Shit, shit, shit! Are you okay man?” a voice cried out towards him.  

“I think you killed him!” a female’s shrieked. “Oh God,Kevin! I told you not to drive so fast. I can’t go to jail…we’re going to jail.”

“Shut up!” the man demanded. 

“Kevin he’s moving!” the female exclaimed. “Oh my god, are you okay?” 

“I- I think so,” Jeremy said. He reached up and touched the side of his face. It was wet and there were small bits of gravel still stuck in his skin, but it didn’t feel deep.  

“I didn’t see you, man! It was so dark, and the hill was a lot steeper than I thought. I’m so glad you’re okay. My dad is going to kill me. He’s going to straight up murder me…at least you’re alive…should you be getting up? I don’t know if you’re supposed to be getting up right now man.” 

Jeremy waved him off and continued trying to stand. 

“Oh man, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.’ The panicked man said again. He was beginning to pace back and forth now.  

Jeremy, finally sitting up looked at the man who struck him and realized that this baby-faced man couldn’t be older than the age of 18. Through the red lights, Jeremy could see the sheer panic across the kid's face. The woman behind him looked even younger than the driver, wearing a small white crop top, a baby blue bucket hat, and black leggings. 

“I’m calling the police Kev!” she yelled pulling a phone from her pocket. 

“Don’t!” Kevin screamed at her. “Shut up Ashley and give us a God damned second here!” 

Jeremy sat still with one hand pressed against the side of his face and watched Kevin pace back and forth. The kid took his hat off, smoothed his lengthy blonde hair back, and put the cap back on, only to repeat the process a few seconds later. 

“Listen, man, I don’t want to involve the police in this, especially if you’re ok…which it looks like you’ll be fine, right?” Kevin stated. “Is there any way we can deal with this without involving anyone else? I mean it when I said my dad is going to murder me. I need to make this go away…. I mean, I have money if that helps. Please. This is my dad’s car and I’m dead if he finds out I took it.”

“It’s stolen?” Jeremy asked.

“No, no, not stolen, no. It’s my car, well my dad’s car but… it’s complicated. Is there anything

we can do here?

Jeremy glanced down the road toward the black car that struck him. Through the darkness, he made out the unmistakable taillights of a Lamborghini. A quarter of a million-dollar car came out of nowhere and sent him sailing through the air.

A smile grew across Jeremy’s face.

“I don’t know kid,” he said. “I think maybe we should call the police.”

“Call them for what? You look fine! You’re okay, right? Anything man. is there anything else we can do here?”

“How much money are you talking about?” Jeremy asked. 

“Okay, okay,” Kevin said hopefully. “I’ve got a fewhundred on me, but I can send you the rest right now. How much will it cost for you to forget about the whole thing? two grand?”

Jeremy’s smile grew wider in the darkness. This was exactly the luck he needed right now. 

“So, you just hit me with a stolen car, and you think two grand is going to make it go away?” he asked. “I’m going to need to see a doctor and I don’t have any insurance. How much do you think the medical bills are going to cost me?”

“Give him more Kevin!” Ashley cried out. She stood still, her arms crossed in front of her bare midriff.

“Ashley God Damn it!’ Kevin yelled. He held his arm up towards her and let out a long exhale. “Okay…okay. I’ve got about five grand I can send you right now five grand just like that”. Kevin said confidently. 

“Not good enough,” Jeremy insisted.  

“Give me a break dude, you were biking down a pitch-black road dark road wearing all black. How the hell was anyone supposed to see you?”

Jeremy said nothing.  

“Seven grand,” Kevin said. “That’s all I got man.”

“I want twenty,” Jeremy demanded.

“You gotta be kidding me, man. I don’t have twenty grand laying around! Look, you don’t even have proof that I hit you! I can argue that you threw yourself onto the road when I drove by to try and get some cash. My dad’s got lawyers and they’re damn good lawyers. You don’t want that.’

Jeremy was silent for a moment. 

He thought about walking back into his empty apartment empty-handed. How long would a settlement take? The last time he went to court, it didn’t go his way and he lost custody of Maddie. He needed that cash, and he needed it now. 

“Fifteen,” Jeremy negotiated. “Fifteen grand and this never happened,” 

“Dude, I told you that I don’t have it,” Kevin argued. He took his hat off again, smoothed his hair back, and exhaled deeply. “Okay, how about this? How about I give you ten grand and you take my watch…It’s a Rolex. Probably worth about four to five grand right there? Huh?” Kevin took off his watch and handed it to Jeremy. “Just take it, bro. It’s yours.”

Jeremy took the watch from Kevin and looked down at it.

It was undoubtedly worth a lot of money, more money than he would ever own in jewelry in his life. 

“Deal.” He said. 

“Oh god, that’s great! That’s great man! Seriously great news! I’ll send it right now.’ Kevin said with a sigh of relief. He jogged back to the car which was still running with both doors wide open. Kevin reached into the front seat and reappeared with a phone in his hand. “You got your phone? Make sure it goes through?’  

Jeremy instinctively reached into his large hoodie pocket but found it empty. It was still strapped to the front of his bicycle. 

“I did,” he replied flatly. “But it was knocked out of my hand when you hit me with your car.”

“Right, right, right,” Kevin said. “I’ll send it and you

can check your account on my phone.”

Fifteen minutes later and with many heavy sighs from an impatient Ashley, Jeremy’s bank account was open on Kevin’s phone with ten thousand dollars sitting in his chequing account. 

“It’s there,” Jeremy said handing the phone back to Kevin. 

“Great. Then this never happened.”

“Never seen you before in my life,” Jeremy declared.

“Fantastic. Get in the car Ashley, let’s go.” Kevin asserted. He walked to the driver’s side, paused, and turned back to Jeremy. “I’d... uh offer to give you a ride back but only two seats you know.” Then without any hesitation, he slammed the car door shut and sped off down the street.

Jeremy watched him leave wishing he had negotiated a ride back home. Regardless though, ten thousand dollars and a Rolex was much more than he would have gotten from the gas station. It was his lucky day. 

He scanned the street and found his crumpled bike in a ditch. The front wheel was still spinning but the back wheel and cell phone were nowhere to be found. The phone (his flashlight and GPS) was in pieces all over the road.

Jeremy turned and walked up the steep hill he had just biked down, but with a gold Rolex on his wrist and a bloody smile on his face.