Dreaming of a Future

 Dreaming of a Future

I sat beside a time capsule, a smile on my face as I read through a journal entry that I made today. A dream of my future and it was absolutely vivid. It felt real as if I were there, no blurry lines or anything to indicate that it was just a dream. With this dream...I am in love with it because it’s something that I want to happen one day.

Before I could put it away in my time capsule for later to read one day, I began to read through it. Just the first sentence is enough to make my heart warm and put a big smile on my face again.

It starts with me waking up in the delivery room and I am in absolute pain as if I were being split in half from the waist down. I am a mess; sweat on my face and my hair just sticking to it, my breathing is heavy and I am trying to hold on as much as I can because I want my husband here with me to witness the birth of our baby.

I scream out my husband’s name, “Noah!” I am in terrible pain as I try to grasp for someone that is not there. “Oh my god! Mi Amor!!” I am shouting for him even though he might be on the road trying to get here.

I am about to shout for him again till I hear shouting of his own down the hallway and making his way here. I smile despite how much I am in, he is here and that is all the matters to me. He came bursting through those doors and our eyes met as if it were the first time we have met. To him, I am the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen and that is enough to dull the pain just slightly. Those eyes of his, a beautiful hazel. His dirty blond hair clung to the sides of his face since he was running through the hospital to get to me, his white shirt sticking to him and his pants are slightly wrinkled but that did not bother me because he is my beautiful mess.

“Noah...honey...” He immediately came to my side and took my hand, kissing my cheek, my forehead, tip of my nose and finally I was ready to push. To bring our baby in this world, my other half is here now.

“Push, ma’am!” Shouts the doctor and I do. I push so hard as if I am trying to win the championship weight competition. “Oh my god!” My back hurts so much, my head feels as if it is going to explode with how hard I am pushing. “Get it out of me!” I am screaming with the pain that tore through me and no, I did not get the epidural because I wanted a natural birth but I might be regretting it right now.

I keep pushing and pushing and pushing until...I heard it, that beautiful cry that brings tears to my eyes and relief. My husband is crying beside me, I swear he was crying more than the baby. Soon as they brought our baby up within view, “it’s a baby girl. Does dad want to cut the umbilical cord?” Asks the doctor. My husband wasted no time as he was given the scissors to do just that. After clipping the cord, the doctor handed her to us and a wave of joy just hit me, I cried even more.

She is absolutely perfect with her thick black hair clung to her vulnerable soft head, her soft peach skin soft against my bare chest, those little lips moving and her tongue just stuck out, a white blanket wrapped around her little body and she was very small. To think that something so small could cause me to much pain but...that pain was worth it all just to have her in my arms. I am the happiest I have ever been, having this baby with the man of my dreams.

Noah leaned down to gently kiss the top of her head, cooing at her and telling her how much he loves her. He leaned his forehead against mine, “she’s beautiful, sweetheart. Just like her mom.” I can not help but grin as tears flowed down my cheeks some more. “We did this, honey and she is perfect. I can not wait till our family sees her. Oh goodness, our son. He is going to be a big brother!” I tell him and just held her close, nuzzling her gently.

Gently, the doctor takes her from my arms so they could check her over while we watched. My husband held my hand while he watched his daughter being cleaned up and given a clean bill of health. I just laid there in the hospital bed, tired and catching my breath. I did not know that such a little thing so precious could be brought into this world. What about our son? We adopted him and we love him just the same. I know when he gets here, he is going to be excited to know he is now a big brother.

At this point, I want to give in to sleep but not yet. Not when I want to hold my daughter in my arms again and tell her how much I love her. I wait patiently for them to finish and once they do, the nurse passes her on to my husband to which he carefully takes her in his arms and just swoons over her. “Wow...she has my eyes...” I hear him say. “Hazel eyes, they are a beautiful eye color, honey.” I tell him, a smile on my lips as I watch him walk around the room slowly with our daughter. She is so tiny in his arms, almost preemie sized compared to him. I watch them pace the room together as I slowly close my eyes….

I open my eyes, picturing this future in my head after I read my dream journal entry, I put it in the time capsule. This entire journal is full of the dreams I have had throughout the year and I know I will read it again soon as the time capsule it dug up from this spot after five or ten years. I hope someday this dream comes true and when it does, it will be beautiful.

FIN