Life's Ups and Downs on the Swing Set

DISCLAIMER: This is a NOT a true story. But it could be; in fact it is based on one and it may hit really close to home for a few of you readers as it does for me. The true story I based this on went VERY LITTLE like this and had a MUCH WORSE ending, so I suppose this is the way I wish the true story had played out, in hindsight. Of course I've changed the names so as to avoid embarrassing or incriminating any actual people. Anyway... I like to call this a "true enough" story.

BANG! “Awwww, OUCH, my ass!” 

I started laughing immediately. Sure, it was juvenile, but try to look at it from my point of view: suspended on a steel plank, 5 feet in the air, with my legs dangling over either side. Seconds ago, my feet were firmly on the ground. But my best friend was considerably chubbier than me so when he sat on the other end of the see-saw, gravity happened. And sure, we’re both over 40 now, but it was still hilarious seeing the look on his face as he rubbed his back side gingerly. Especially since I vividly remember being in his shoes about three decades ago while he sat up here laughing at me. It was funny because I could sympathize. And maybe also because it was a sort of poetic justice. At least, it was funny until he stepped off the see-saw without warning and it was MY TURN to crash ass-first into the ground. I felt a nasty shockwave travel all the way up my spine. Still funny though… just a bit less funny.

“Yeah,” I said, “I guess we’re a little too old and fat for the see-saw now, huh?” This playground had been our spot since we were kids. Anytime something serious happened, whether good or bad, we met here to talk it out and celebrate or commiserate accordingly. We’d been here for 15 minutes already, but I still had no idea why Doug had asked me to meet him here after work today. As far as I could tell, it was just another Tuesday.

Doug chuckled as he sat on one of the swings. They were the kind with flexible rubber seats, probably made from recycled tires, hung by a link of thick metal chains coated in vinyl to protect kids’ fingers from getting pinched. As I took the swing next to his, he started to push off. I decided to just be lazy and sit still. “I’ve been debating whether or not I should tell you something,” he said. “It’s pretty serious, but I’m not sure that it’s my place to say something.”

“Woah, Doug, you’re not sick, are you? Or is it Tanya? Or one of the kids?” 

“No, no, it’s nothing like that. We’re all fine, I promise.” He paused for a minute, scratched his stubbly beard, and then rubbed his hands over his face a few times. Then he just sighed. “Alright, alright… this secret has been eating me up inside, so I’ll tell you. But first you have to promise not to be mad at me.”

Doug was terrible at keeping secrets, but that’s one of the reasons we were able to stay friends for so long. I don’t tolerate any bullshit, and I never have, and Doug never tried to cause any. “Well, I can’t make that promise until I know what the secret is… but I can promise that coming clean will definitely earn you some brownie points just in case it is something bad.”

“Well, the thing is… it’s really not my secret to tell. But you’re my best friend, and that puts me in a really awkward position right now.” He paused, and I’m not sure whether it was to collect his thoughts or if he was waiting for me to give him permission to tell me what was on his mind.

“Doug, how long have we been friends? Since the second grade. You can tell me anything, man. So just spill it, you’ll feel better if you do.”

“Well, Russ, I’m sorry to tell you this… I really wish I was ANYONE else right now. But about a month ago, when you went for that job interview in Dallas and you were gone for three days, I was having dinner at Biali’s Pizza. And I ran into Cindy there. She… wasn’t alone.”

“Well, I hope not. We’re pretty frugal people. We try not to go out for dinner too often, so one of her girl friends from the salon probably invited her,” I tried to make myself believe my own words, but deep down I already knew where Doug was going with this.

“No, Russ. I’m sorry, man. Really, I am. She was with some guy. I didn’t recognize him. But I got a bad vibe from him. So I waited for them to leave – don’t worry, they didn’t notice me – and then I was curious where they were going when they got into your Ferrari together. So I followed them… and…” Doug’s voice cracked. He put a hand over his eyes, took a moment to collect himself. When he spoke again, his words were slow and deliberate. “Russ, they went to that shady motel over on Oak Street. The one with its own liquor store at the corner of the building. The one that always has a bunch of lot lizards hanging around out front. The guy came out about an hour later and took a taxi. Cindy must have spent the night… around midnight I got too tired to continue the stakeout and decided to go home, and she was still there.”

I shook my head. I’d suspected for a while. But I couldn’t prove it. I finally kicked off and started swinging. Higher and higher I went, stretching my legs out in front of me as far as I could, pulling back on the chain as hard as humanly possible. Because I had to put all that rage and energy SOMEWHERE right now, but I certainly couldn’t put it on Doug. He didn’t deserve it, and even through my heartbreak I knew that. So I just swung for a while. Before long, the legs of the swing set started to jump up when I reached the top of my arc on either side. Doug stopped swinging; I think he was trying to act as a counterweight to balance the swing set so it wouldn’t flip over. Doug is a good dude.

“Listen, Doug, thanks for telling me. I’m pissed, of course, but not at you. We’re solid. Okay? You and I are good. Always.”  Doug just nodded. After that, I stopped kicking my legs so hard, let the air friction overcome my momentum and slowed down to a much more reasonable swinging height and speed.

After what was either five minutes or several eons, I found that I was able to think straight again. “Doug… it wasn’t… it wasn’t what you thought it was. At least not entirely. I’m pretty sure… oh man, this sucks so much but I have to face facts. I think that guy was her drug dealer. I think she’s been using again, but I’m not sure whether it’s meth or heroin.”

“Oh man, I’m so sorry, Russell. I remember what it was like the last time she was using.”

“Yeah. Well, I’ve been holding back because I wasn’t sure... and given her history, I didn’t want to upset her by asking… so I’ve been putting it off for a few months despite my suspicions. But it seems that I’m going to have to sit down with Cindy and have a talk when I get home. Maybe start looking at programs tomorrow, too.” I finally stopped swinging, and just stared up at the night sky for a few minutes.

“Hey, Russell… you know I’m here for you and Cindy, right? So if you guys need anything… and I mean ANYTHING… you let me know. Okay?”

“Yeah, Doug. Thanks, that means a lot.” I inhaled deeply, and then released a long sigh. “Man, in that case, I don’t think I can face her with this tonight. It’s already getting late. Can we just go get a pizza and then I’ll crash at your place tonight? I’ll call out of work tomorrow and come at her fresh and rested.” I was not looking forward to going through another bout of rehab and recovery… but that’s what you have to do if you love someone who happens to be an addict. You have to stand up for them, and stand by them, because they can’t do it alone.

“Sure thing, man. I’ll text Tanya and let her know. Our door is always open to you.”

“Thanks. And… can we maybe NOT go to Biali’s tonight? Just in case…”

“Sure. We’ll head across town to Mercurio’s instead. I haven’t been there in a while anyway, it’ll be nice. I like their salad bar. Now I have a small, tiny, itsy-bitsy favor to ask you… can I drive the Ferrari this time?”

I just laughed because I knew he wasn’t being serious. He was always asking me if he could drive it, ever since I bought the thing. But he knew I was much too protective of my baby to ever let anyone drive it besides myself and my wife. So it was basically an inside joke we had, he would ask to drive the Ferrari and I would say “Not in a million years,” and then he’d say “Well then I guess I’ll just have to live to be older than a million.” But this time, I tossed him the keys. Partly because he deserved it; and partly because I couldn't see clearly through my own tears and I could still feel my hands shaking, so I probably shouldn't be driving right now.