A Room With Three Views

May 1^st, 3am, Emma:

Mandy – my lovely Mandy; my best friend. Tears stream down my face as I look at her. I know that life will never be the same again.

May 1^st, 3am, Ally:

I still can’t believe it’s happened. The red blood spilling from Mandy’s neck looks strangely artificial – almost as if it’s a staged scene for a whodunnit; but the police presence and the murmur of voices in the corridor outside and the shocked faces of Ken and Emma all conspire to convince me it’s real. And I know that at some point I’m going to have to explain what happened.

May 1^st, 3am, Ken:

I have no words. If the police asked me what happened, I’ll have to say, “No comment.” That’s what people do in situations like this, isn’t it, if you don’t want to talk about it – but if I don’t talk about it, then the police might think it was my fault. And I’m going to have to live with the knowledge of what really happened for the rest of my life.

May 1^st, 2.30am, Ally:

I gaze at Emma in shock. There’s a knife in her hand and for a moment, I think she’s going to attack Mandy or Ken, and then I realise that she’s going to cut her own wrists in front of us. She wants to punish them both for cheating on her by making them watch her die. I don’t think the others realise that, though: they seem frozen with fear, unable to say or do anything that will stop her. I’m going to have to get the knife away from her, though, before she hurts herself, so I reach over, as slowly as I can, not wanting to frighten her – and it might have worked, but Mandy panics and shouts, “Stop her!”, and Emma whirls round and...

May 1^st, 2.30am, Ken:

I don’t believe it! She’s got a knife! The crazy bitch has actually got a knife! For a moment, I’m too stunned to do anything; and then Mandy shouts, Stop her!” and so I grab for the knife just as Mandy lunges too, and I see the knife embedded in Mandy’s neck. Of course, I drag it out – but it must have hit a cartotid artery because blood’s leaking out at an alarming rate and Mandy’s deathly pale and seems to be losing consciousness. Then Emma’s screaming at me and calling me an idiot for pulling the knife out, and I pull Mandy into my arms and try to staunch the blood with my sleeve – but she’s not breathing any more and her eyes are still and lifeless...

May 1^st, 2.30am, Emma:

I still don’t know why I grabbed the craft knife off my desk. All I wanted was for both of them to know how much they’d hurt me – how they’d ripped my heart out by getting together behind my back. Once the knife was in my hand, I wanted to make them watch me bleed so they’d know how my heart was bleeding too – I wasn’t going to cut my wrists or anything dramatic like that: I just wanted to nick the skin and draw blood – Ken’s always been pathetically sensitive to the sight of blood: he used to go to pieces if I had a nosebleed. And then both Ken and Mandy start shouting and trying to snatch the knife off me - and I panic – and Mandy somehow gets in the way – and I watch in horror as the knife makes contact with her neck... But it’s okay, because as long as we leave the knife there to stem the bleeding and call 911, she won’t die – because I won’t let her. And I’m about to pick up my phone when Ken – stupid, stupid Ken! – pulls the knife out of Mandy’s neck and we all watch in horror as she slumps into unconsciousness in his arms. And then I hear someone screaming, and I realise it’s me.

May 1^st, 2.17am, Ally:

Emma’s looking at me, her eyes full of tears. “Did you know?” she asks brokenly. “Did you know what they were up to? Am I the last one to find out?” And she looks so broken that I just want to put my arms around her and hold her until she feels safe again. And I still can’t believe that Ken would do something like that to her. And as for Mandy ... “No,” I tell her gently, “I didn’t know until this evening.” And I try to put an arm around her, but she shrugs it away, too hurt to let anyone else near her. And at that moment, I almost hate Ken and Mandy for what they’ve done to her.

May 1^st, 2.11am, Ken:

Emma’s staring at me as if she can’t believe what I’ve just said. “It’s not you,” I repeat, using the timeworn cliché, “it’s me. I’m not good enough for you, Em. You deserve someone who’ll love you properly.” For a moment, I think she might believe it; but then her eyes swivel suspiciously to Mandy. Don’t say anything, I plead silently. Please, please, don’t say anything. And then Mandy opens her mouth and the world changes.

May 1^st, 2.11am, Emma:

“It’s not you,” he says, “it’s me. I’m not good enough for you, Em.” He looks so sincere when he says it – apart from his eyes, and they’re as guilty as hell. A part of me can’t believe that he’s actually doing this, that he’s breaking up with me in front of Ally and Mandy. And then I realise that I can’t let him get away with it: I have to confront him and Mandy now and make them admit he’s been two-timing me – but the room starts spinning, and my throat is hot and dry and uncomfortable, and all I can do is look accusingly at Mandy instead of denouncing them both.

“I’m so sorry, Em,” Mandy whispers. Ken shoots her a dirty look, but it seems she needs to confess and get it all off her chest, so I let her continue. “I’m so sorry – we never meant to hurt you.”

“How long has it been going on for?” I have to know.

“About three weeks.”

Each word is a dagger in my heart. Three weeks of him lying to me, cheating on me, kissing someone else – and more – behind my back. And until two days ago, I didn’t know.

Did Ally know? I wonder. Did she know all the time what they were up to? Tears are pricking at my eyes as I turn to her and ask, “Did you know?”  

May 1^st, 1am, Ally:

The rest of the dorm is asleep as we creep along the corridor and into Mandy’s room – it’s lucky she rooms with Emma, otherwise we’d be disturbing a disgruntled third party with our loud whispering and tipsy behaviour. I can’t remember now whose idea it was to order beers – or how we managed to get served when we’re so obviously underage: all I know is that the four of us are definitely the worse for wear – and maybe that’s why Ken and Mandy start fooling around a little when Emma’s in the bathroom – nothing serious, but they break apart guiltily as they hear her re-entering the room – and then a look passes between them and I suddenly know – and I wonder if Emma’s seen it too.

May 1^st, 1am, Ken:

I wish Emma could have warned me earlier that she was inviting the others to come out with us tonight. It’s been doing my head in, spending all evening with Mandy but not being able to touch her, kiss her. Tonight was supposed to be the big break-up with Emma, but I couldn’t do something like that with an audience. I want to tell her it’s over before she starts making plans for the summer. And now we’re all back in her room and she’s going to expect me to stay when the others go – and I can’t do it. It’s Mandy I want to be spending the night with, not Emma – but it’ll break her heart if I tell her the truth.

May 1^st, 1am, Emma:

My heart’s pounding as we creep along the corridor – not because I’m scared someone will hear us and realise we’re drunk – well, the others are, a bit, but I’m sone cold sober: I made sure the bartender gave me light beers when the others were drinking the regular stuff – but because I’m finally going to confront my best friend for screwing my boyfriend behind my back. I can’t believe that I still haven’t told them I know – but I’ve needed to wait until I could get the four of us together, because I have to see Ally’s face so I know whether she was part of it too – has she known all along and been keeping it a secret from me?

April 29^th, 10am, Ally:

I think Mandy has a new boyfriend. She’s being really secretive, though – doesn’t want to spill any of the details to me or Em. OMG – what if he’s married? No, don’t be stupid – we’re still in college – and how on earth could she hook up with an older, married guy when we only ever go out as a group. So, not a married man, then – but why won’t she tell us anything? Maybe he’s one of those really nerdy guys from Psych 101 – there’s a red headed one who keeps offering to lend her his lecture notes. I wonder if Ken knows anything? We have a class together later on, so I’ll ask him then.

April 29^th, 1pm, Ken:

That was a near miss! I thought Mandy and I had done a pretty good job of keeping things secret – we can’t go public until I’ve officially finished things with Emma – but Ally’s worked out that Mandy’s seeing someone, and she kept asking me if I knew who the mystery man was. It’ll be a relief when we can finally start being honest – neither of us likes sneaking around behind Emma’s back, but this thing that’s been growing between us recently is just too strong. I thought at first that we were just fooling around, but there’s something about Mandy that... I don’t know what it is – I can’t even put it into words; all I know is that I want to be with her and she wants to be with me, but Emma’s emotionally fragile at the moment with her grandpa being in hospital, and it just doesn’t seem right to upset her even more. Once I know her grandpa’s okay, I’ll tell her then. I guess I sound like a real scumbag – especially when I’m on my way to meet Mandy right now - but ignorance is bliss, and what Emma doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

April 29^th, 1pm, Emma:

I knew getting a spare key cut for Ken’s room was a good idea! He still doesn’t know I’ve done it because I didn’t want to spoil the surprise. He’s been so sweet recently when I’ve been feeling stressed about my grandad: I really don’t deserve a boyfriend like him. I’m going to make it up to him now, though: I’m hiding in the closet and when he comes in, I’ll leap out and put my arms around him and give him the best afternoon of his life!

And then I listen as the door opens and Ken enters – and I don’t leap out because he’s not alone – and there’s another girl’s voice, and I feel dizzy because a guy only takes a girl to his room in the middle of the day for one thing – and that one thing’s supposed to be with me, not someone else.

The world blurs momentarily, and then it rights itself again and I recognise the other voice: Mandy – my lovely Mandy; my best friend. Tears stream down my face as I listen to her. I know that life will never be the same again.