Stuck

“I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. This is fine. I’m fine,” I repeat, pacing in what little room I have.

“You know, saying it over and over again doesn’t make it any more true.”

“Please just don’t, I don’t have the energy to deal with you, I have to focus on not dying.

“You’re not going to die. We are stuck in an elevator parked on the first floor of a four story building.” I look at Reggie in horror.

“That doesn’t make it any less dangerous! Do you know how many people die in elevator related accidents a year? I don’t but I’m sure it’s a lot!”

“That is statistically untrue and you know it, and for a matter of fact, yes I do know how many people die and I’m not going to tell you,” She says, head in her hands. As soon as we stopped and the lights went out Reggie had sat herself down and got comfortable. I have no idea how she did so considering our impending doom.

“That means it is a lot.” She didn’t even respond to this. “Okay so maybe we won’t fall to our deaths, but we could suffocate, or the power could never come back on and they could forget about us and then we’d die of hunger or dehydration, or on of us could have an aneurysm before anybody could get to us and then I’d be stuck in a 49 square foot elevator with a dead body, or--”

“Hang on, why do you think I’d get the aneurysm and die?”Reggie interrupts.

“Because you’re not very good under pressure,” She looks up at me without a trace of amusement on her face.

“The only way I’d die first is of exhaustion listening to you worry yourself into a corner,” A look of hurt crosses my face and I shut my mouth. She notices this and reaches a hand out to me. I take it reluctantly and slowly sink down next to her. “Hey, I’m sorry. It’s just that sometimes I get so frustrated because I don’t know how to help you when you get like this. You work yourself up so much that it’s almost impossible to get you back down.”

“I know, I’m sorry, but I can’t help it. Everything scares me so much,” I say, and it’s true, I am constantly terrified something terrible is going to happen. It’s not like I’m unjustified in feeling that though, terrible things happen all of the time and I can’t do anything to stop them. When given the opportunity I make the wrong decision every single time. That’s why I stopped making them and let Regina do it for me. She’s always logical about things, even when I’d prefer she wasn’t. I don’t know what I’d do without her. 

“I know. I”m actually quite proud of you though, you’re doing surprisingly well in such little light,” When the power went off she immediately turned on the flashlight on her phone, knowing how I feel about the dark.

“Don’t remind me. I’m pretending we’re in a theater waiting for a show to start. If I suspend my disbelief long enough I should be fine but I can’t do that forever.” Regina laughs as the corners of her mouth curl up into the slightest of grins.

“Oh yeah? And what show are we attending today?” She asks and absentmindedly reaches up to twirl my hair in her fingers.

“Duh,” I respond, “A Midsummer’s Night Dream, didn’t you get your playbill?”

“Oh yes of course, how could I forget? Your favorite. Wait, look, look! I think the show is starting!” She shushes me and brings a finger to my lips and I can’t help but giggle. “Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour draws on apace…” She begins to recite the play and I close my eyes and sigh, At peace for the first time since entering this godforsaken elevator. Her voice dances around my ears as I picture scene for scene what she describes. It’s difficult to do so, I dragged her along to see the play with me every time it was performed within a 25-mile radius. Professionally, recreationally, even at local high schools. We saw it close to one hundred times since we’ve been together and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

After a while, Reggie stopped and I looked at her, confused. “I’m sorry that I left you alone,” she says, regretful with pain lingering behind her words. “I didn’t mean to. I know I can’t change what happened but know it wasn’t because of you. I would never leave you if I didn’t have to.”

“Why are you telling me this now?” I ask.

“Because I couldn’t before, but I need you to hear this now. You are stronger than anyone thinks, even yourself. You may not think you can live without me, but look at how well you are doing. I want you to continue seeing Shakespeare. To go to parks and pretend that you are a fairy in the woods. I need you to breathe and know that even when I am gone that I will still be in your heart. You can be scared sometimes, but know that you will outgrow your fear. I believe in you so wholly and entirely. You will be okay,” I close my eyes and pull away from her.

“I don’t want you to go. I can’t be alone again. I need you.”

“You will be okay,” she says again, “I promise you that.” 

Next thing I know the lights flicker back on and I hear raised voices from outside. With a shake, the doors are wrenched open and multiple faces look down at me with concern.

“Oh my God, Alex, are you okay?”

“I am so sorry.”

“We worked as hard as we could to get you out,” voices overlap but I can’t really understand what they’re saying. I suppose I’m safe now but I can still feel the tears rolling down my face. Someone reaches down and pulls me into a hug. 

“They tried to wait, but they couldn’t hold the service any longer. I’m sure she would’ve understood,” John pauses for just a moment, “I am so sorry you were stuck in there alone.”