Space to Call Home

I had found Edith on the tail end of the war. This was when the fires had turned to ash and the people whose lives were taken had long been buried. The kings had settled their conflict. War, however, does not have a sudden end. Peace or victory does not erase the destruction that was wrought by battle. Edith and I were proof of the lingering effects, an orphan and a soldier not sure where to call home.

Edith had the haunted eyes of soldiers who had seen battle when I found her in the wreckage of her village. She must have seen something much the same as mine because she been followed me ever since, but she was no longer quiet like she was when she was young.Thoughts of war slowly wore down to something that we could live with and the world around us became one that people could be happy in, including me and Edith.

The years following the war we spent traveling, never settling in one place for long. We had recently settled into a room at an inn in a new town. Once we found a place to stay the night Edith usually found her way outside. She explored the town and the area around the town. She liked to know as much of it as she could before we moved on again. She had an uncanny memory for all the places we had been.

I spent the time I could reading books or working a job that I had come across. I was sitting by the window in the room’s creaky old chair when the door opened signalling Edith’s return.

“Ambrose, look what I found.” I looked up from my book to find Edith dropping a pile of dirt on our table.

“You found a pile of dirt. Why is it on the table?”

“So that you can look at it. I thought you were supposed to be smart.” Edith's face was scrunched into a nasty expression. Lately she had taken to insults that had no provocation. 

“That was rather rude.”

“Well it’s true.” 

I pursed my lips and looked back at my book.  “If you are going to act that way I don’t need to know what is special about your pile of dirt.”

She stomped in my direction and I knew very well that she was standing in front of me scowling with her hands on her hips even without looking at her. When I didn’t pay attention to her she stomped away and came back dumping dirt on top of my book.

I shot to my feet brushing the dirt off my book and clothes.

“Edith! That was childish.” 

“I am a child Ambrose.” She somehow made my name sound like an insult.

“That still doesn’t mean that you should behave like a heathen.” 

“I had to get your attention some way. You have been reading that book all day.” Edith stamped her foot, raising her voice in a great display.

I frowned at that. I realized the true reason for her nasty behavior. Edith was a creature who needed attention, and I had been ignoring her when she probably had nothing left of the small town to explore. I brushed out the last of the dirt from the book before noting the page and shutting it. 

“Would you like to go have a meal?” I tried to keep my tone civil.

“Yes.” The word was sharp and said with as much dignity as possible.

“Go wash up then. I will not be seen with a dirt covered heathen. What was in the dirt anyway?” Guilt prompted me to ask.

“Nothing. I just wanted to get your attention. You hate it when I make a mess.” She scampered away to clean herself off.

I scowled after her and looked at the dirt that was strewn around the room. “Maybe I will just go to another town and leave you behind.”

“No you won’t.” She yelled back.

Edith was in a much more pleasant mood when she returned, grabbing my hand and propelling the two of us out the door. She had the energy that I had lost over the years.

“There is something going on in the center of the town. I want to see what it is. It looks like they have stalls of food and people doing tricks.” 

“You just want some sweets.” 

“Of course I do. Not everyone can live off of things they find in the woods.” 

Yet another jab. I wondered if this was something she would grow out of.

I could hear the festival as we left the inn. There was noise everywhere. Music in some places and someone breathing fire. Edith was dragging me at an unpleasantly fast pace, but she had only one thought in her mind. She pulled me directly to a stand with sweet cakes and I knew that she had already scouted it out before she dumped dirt on my literature. 

She greedily ate her sweet cakes as we continued through the festival. She pointed out things that I had already noted, but I nodded anyway. She had a fervor that was often infectious. We stopped at a puppet show and Edith sat down on one of the benches rubbing her sticky fingers on her dress. 

When the puppet show was finished I was dragged to another stand of food. This something was fried and crunchy. She actually let me have a bite of it before she shoved it in her mouth. Before she was even finished she was running off to something that I couldn’t see. I tracked her through the crowd feeling more like a money purse than a festival goer. 

Edith had found a ring for fighting. She was already scrambling back to me for coin. She entered the ring and was given a wooden sword before being paired off with a boy who would most likely soon wish for another partner.

“Your girl’s paired with my boy.” A woman said coming up beside me. She was a well worn looking woman. The kind that had worked hard since birth.

“I do feel sorry for him then. Edith can be rather aggressive.”

The woman laughed. “He can take it. He’s the youngest of my bunch. Older siblings toughen you up.”

Edith and the boy clashed wooden swords. Edith's technique was to simply hack at the poor boy's sword. I noted that she might enjoy me teaching her a few moves.

“Is she your only one?” 

“Yes.” People often thought Edith was my child and it was easier to go along with it.

“I couldn’t imagine being an only child. I have five siblings myself and I have four children. It’s nice to have the noise about.”

I looked back at Edith feeling a bit put out at the woman’s words. It had only been the two of us for years now. I hadn’t wondered if Edith might be happier she was around people more. I could be rather dull company. She did seem to enjoy playing with the boy.

“I hadn’t thought about it.”

“Her friends will probably do just as well as siblings.”

That did not make me feel much better. We moved around too often for Edith to make attachments. I had to wonder what Edith was missing out on in life.

After a few minutes of fighting Edith and the boy scrambled over to me and the woman.

“Mother, can I play with Edith?” At least he wasn’t running away.

“As long as her father doesn’t mind you can.”

Edith giggled. “Yes, father, can I play with Thomas.”

“As long as you don’t go breaking any bones you can do what you wish.” 

The two of them were off and I was left with Thomas's mother. 

“Well I ought to find my husband. Is your wife somewhere about?” 

“No, wife to speak of.” I said off hand.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not-” I stopped myself. This was the longest conversation I had with someone other than Edith. I was about to tell her the truth. “She’s an orphan from the war.”

The woman nodded knowingly. “This town has only just started to return to normal. We all still remember the war. Well, would you like to enjoy the festival with me and my husband? We wouldn’t mind the company.”

“I would enjoy that.” 

Edith and I had never found the space to settle. I never had a moment where the place I was in felt like home, but this invitation was like something close to it. We exchanged names as we walked. I learned her name was Maria and that the Lord of the town had been appointed and this was a celebration of that.

“Before he came the town was scraping by. He’s a good caring Lord. It’s said he earned his title in the war for his courage and bravery. He was like us plain folk before. Ah, there’s my husband.” Maria’s face broke into a smile and I followed her eyes to a man having a conversation with a teenager, who I guessed was their daughter. 

The daughter crossed her arms and pouted. I had to keep from laughing when it reminded me of Edith. The man turned to us as Maria planted a kiss on his cheek and I froze.

“Richard?” 

The man looked at me, confused, before his eyes widened. 

“Ambrose.” His smile was bright as he pulled me into a bone crushing hug. “When I changed regiments I thought I would never see you again.”

Richard had been the only bright spot during the war. He pushed me when I wanted to give up. He made jokes on the cold nights around the fire and listened to all of my philosophical lectures about the world.

“I thought much the same. So, this is the Maria that you would not stop talking about.” 

“Aye, it is. Solid as a rock this woman.” He said, pulling her to his side. “And this one is my oldest, Florence. ” He pulled the teenager to his side, but she didn’t lose the scowl on her face.

“Don’t make such a face in front of your father’s friend. He’ll think that’s just how you look all the time. What is it you are grumping about anyway?” Maria asked.

“Some of her friends were going to go to the woods tonight and swim at the waterfall.” 

“You know full well how dangerous that is.  You should have known we’d say no.”

“At least I asked. The others are going to sneak out.” 

It was good to see Richard living his life fully after the war. He was settled and happy and I was a bit envious of it.

“Why don’t you go with your friends while you can?” Maria said, and the girl went off in a huff. 

Richard wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Come on old friend, let’s eat and discuss our years apart. What brings you to my village?” 

We sat at a table set up outside. Maria ordered us a round of drinks.

“I’ve been traveling. I didn’t think home was right for me anymore.”

“I had trouble settling back in, too. Poor Maria took the brunt of it. I’d fall into the dark moods afterward.”

Richard’s voice turned gruff and Maria squeezed his shoulder. I nodded. The war had left its mark. I talked about all the places I had been and Richard talked about all his children and the job he took up after the war. We ate and drank and laughed. Occasionally, one of their children would come over and ask for money. Edith and Thomas arrived with just that request when the sun was beginning to go down.

Edith latched onto my arm. “Ambrose, there is a woman here who will tell you your fortune for a bit of coin.”

“And I suppose you want a bit of coin then.” 

“Only just a bit.” She put on her sweetest smile that had long stopped working on me.

“And who is this?” Richard said as he handed Thomas some money.

She turned to Richard still attached to my arm. “My name is Edith. Who are you?” 

“Edith, there is no need to be rude.”

“I wasn’t being rude, I was asking a question.” She let go of me offended that I was offended.

“This is an old friend of mine, Richard.”

“You have friends?”

“Yes, I have friends, but that was before I met you. You scare anyone away that could be my friend because of your rude manners.” The jab was a little more petty than playful.

“That’s not true. You never talk to anyone. All you do is read.” 

I pursed my lips. “You are such a bother.” 

She looked proud of herself, knowing that she had gotten under my skin. “And you are a hermit.” 

“Here, go get your fortune told before you push me to sell you to one of these merchants. Say that it was nice to meet my friend before you go. He is Thomas’s father.”

“Nice to meet you Thomas’s father.” She bobbed down a little and was off yanking poor Thomas along.

I sighed. “I’m sorry for that. Edith’s got a will of her own.”

“You have a daughter.” Richard looked proud at the idea of it. I had never thought of Edith as a daughter or at least I hadn’t put that word to it.

“No, not exactly. She’s an orphan from the war. We started traveling together after I left the front lines.” 

“That’s just as well. Children are a blessing.” 

I laughed. “I wouldn’t go that far, but she does make life more entertaining.” 

“Don’t they just. Richard mostly sees them at night when they have already gotten all of the rotten behavior out. He’s got a bit of a rosy view of them, though someone has too.” She teased.

I smiled knowing exactly why Richard wanted to go home to Maria so much. She had the same easy warmth that he had. I had known her a whole of a few hours and I already felt comfortable. I had missed companionable conversation with people my age. There were only so many conversations about the things Edith found outside that I could take.

The children began to trickle over to our table and the noise grew as the children joked with each other. Edith sat by me talking with all the other children. She looked happy and as I watched her I wondered if her life might be better with children she could play with.

As the night grew later and the children grew quieter Edith cuddled close to me as Richard, Maria, and I continued talking. Soon we realized that the youngest of the children had fallen asleep. 

I gathered up Edith in my arms and she grumbled in her sleep. She was really too heavy for carrying, but once she was asleep it was impossible to wake her up. We left the festival with a tired brood of children hanging off us and stumbling beside us. There was something pleasant about walking home in the dark from a festival with your friends and a sleeping child in your arms.

“How long do you plan on staying?” Richard asked. 

I paused at the question. I only had the room rented for a few more days, but that seemed too short.

“I’m not sure just yet.”

“Be sure to say farewell before you leave.” Maria said

Even her reminder of a goodbye was welcoming. I knew that if I left without seeing them at least one more time I would regret it.

“Of course.” 

We said our goodnights and I climbed the stairs to our room. I set Edith on her bed taking off her shoes and tucking her under the covers. She had a small smile on her face even as she dreamed. 

I sat on my bed, my heart light, imagining talking with Richard and Maria everyday and sending Edith to play with their kids. I could get a job and call a place home. I felt like there was a space for me here. Not that there was room, but that someone had carved out a place just the right size for me. I hoped Edith felt the same way.