To the Top of the Hill We Go

“How much further are we going?” the old lady asked her husband.

“All the way to the top, my dear,” the old man replied as he pulled the sled behind him. “Just like when we were kids.”

“I’m not sure I can go much farther. I feel like my legs are about to give,” she said, her hands on her weak knees.

“Don’t worry, my dear, I’ll carry you. I’ll pull you up on the sled.”

“But Henry you’ll wear yourself to death doing that! Let’s just head back down and go home, we don’t—”

“No,” Henry said firmly. “You wanted to do this… to come here. We’re not leaving until we do.” The old lady kissed his cheek and carefully climbed onto the sled. Once she was secured, Henry began pulling the sled up the hill again. He felt a noticeable difference in the weight of the sled, but it was a weight he could pull easily. His wife had become considerably frail. But that was why they were here, after all.

Charlotte looked down the hill, excitement and fear both welling up inside her.

“You can do this… We can do this,” Henry told her as he took her in his arms.

“I know… It’s just… it’s been so long.”

“You have nothing to be afraid of, my dear. I am right here with you.” Henry turned and pointed to the nearby tree, an old, white oak. Its bark was chipped and its limbs crooked, but it remained strong. “We first met right there, Charlotte, under that tree. We carved our initials into the bark. Do you remember?”

“Of course, I remember,” Charlotte said with a smile. “You came over, all shy and nervous, and you asked me if I wanted to sled with you. The way you smiled when I told you yes…. How could I forget?”

“You see? We belong here, just as much as anyone else.” Henry said as he took hold of the reins of the sled. “C’mon, my dear.” Charlotte slowly climbed onto the front of the sled, Henry sitting behind her, his strong arms around her. “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” Charlotte said, taking a deep breath. “I’m ready.”

***

“I had forgot what that felt like,” Charlotte said with a laugh. “The wind on your face, the feeling in your chest. It was wonderful.”

“Was it everything you had remembered?” Henry asked as he got to his feet.

“Everything and more,” Charlotte said breathlessly. “Let’s go again.”

“That’s just what I was thinking,” Henry said with a smile.

It was harder the second time up the hill. Sometimes Henry forgot that he was old, and he too had lost most of the strength of his youth. But after a long haul, he and Charlotte finally reached the top. Henry positioned the sled in the standard spot, and turned back to Charlotte. He expected to find her eager to get back on the sled, but instead she just stood and looked down the hill, into the distance.

“What do you think our lives would have been like if Adam hadn’t…” Charlotte asked, turning to Henry, not able to say the final word. “I always envisioned bringing him here… Being here brings back memories…dreams.” Henry slowly approached Charlotte, and wrapped a trembling arm around her waist. “He was such a beautiful baby, Adam was.” Charlotte said after a moment. “The way he smiled, so bright. The way he cried… enough to break your heart… Do you remember?”

“I remember everything, my dear, every moment… I see him every day.”

“I see him, too,” Charlotte said, quickly wiping her eyes.

“He was such a good boy,” Henry said, holding Charlotte a little tighter. “He would’ve made such a good man. Such a good man.” Henry’s eyes began to well with tears. “I’m sorry, Charlotte. I never said it but I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Henry. Nothing,” Charlotte said, holding Henry. “What happened to Adam was an accident. There was nothing you could have done.”

“I should have taught him better. Protected him harder… I should’ve been there for you, Charlotte... That’s what I regret most of all.”

“But you were, Henry. You stayed, and we made it through... I love you so much, Henry. And for the rest of our lives, no matter how long that may be, you will never have to apologize to me for anything.”

Henry rested his head on Charlotte’s shoulder. “I love you, Charlotte.”

***

The second time down the hill had hurt. It felt the same as the first, but everywhere she looked, Charlotte only saw Adam. Sometimes he was in a sled next to them, sometimes her arms were around him as he sat in front of her, but he was always there. Her heart soared at the sight of him, even just in memory, but she knew he wasn't really there, and somehow, she felt the loss of him all over again. Charlotte felt, knew, that Henry saw him too.

“Let’s go again,” Henry said firmly as they skidded to a stop at the bottom of the hill.

“Just one more time,” Charlotte nodded. Henry grabbed the reins and began pulling the sled back up the hill.

“Let’s sit down under the tree for a minute,” Henry said tiredly. He dropped the reins of the sled and helped Charlotte to her feet. Henry and Charlotte helped each other to the tree, and sat down in each other’s arms, sitting directly below the carving of their initials, which they had put there years before.

“Why can’t it be like this forever? Just the two of us…the three of us… forever. Why do things have to change?” Charlotte finally asked.

“That’s just the way the world works, my dear, that’s the beauty of it,” Henry whispered. “But memories never change. Memories never change.”

“That’s true, my love... Tell me one, a good one, from our life.”

“Adam’s fourth Christmas?” Henry asked after a moment.

“Perfect.”

“Well, the day started early… nearly before the sun came up… Adam rushed into our room and told us Santa had come, and that we had to wake up to open them. He led us down the stairs… he was so excited… I fixed us hot chocolate while you grabbed your old camera, and we watched as he tore through the wrapping paper of his gifts, smiling ear to ear… Finally, we led him to the garage and showed him his new bike. It was such a small little bike, and he could still barely fit on it. Do you remember how he tried riding it and immediately fell? I told him he needed to learn first, but he was so determined! Charlotte? Charlotte?” Henry tried to wake Charlotte but she was still. “Charlotte?” Henry asked again, tears streaming down his face. But the time had come. “I will not be far behind, my dear,” Henry whispered to his wife, kissing her forehead. It was like that, holding Charlotte tight in his arms, underneath the carving of their initials, that Henry stayed as the sun sank into night. Henry had carried Charlotte up the hill for the last time.