Taking the risky chance

I am one lucky woman. Not because of me being the founder of a trillion-dollar magazine company, not because of me having the desired wealth and luxurious life. But because of me, taking the biggest most riskful chance to get where I am today. Let's start at the beginning.

 About ten years ago, I used to think making New Year's resolutions was a waste of time, something that people do to make it seem like their doing something meaningful only to procrastinate about it a few weeks later. I used to not even think of it and my friends from college would taunt and tease and say that I am such a Debbie-downer. Well, the truth was they were right. Up until I met someone that taught me being on point with a New Year's resolution can have a might impact if you stick to it. Ten years ago, I was not a confident woman I am today. I was such a push-over empathetic struggling individual working for a magazine company that was big around that time. I was working for a miserable old brute named, "Maximillion Elliot Walter". Oh boy, was his spirit intimidating! The old man would walk around in his all-black suit with a cane, and beady little eyes and a frown that would make you cringe at the sight of it. Everyone feared him, including me. I was then a woman with no confidence, no self-esteem, a writer who just wanted to be noticed. I had so many ideas to bring this company and its value sky-rocketing high. But my manager, Mr. Gertid who is much worse than Mr. Walters, said my ideas were a waste of time and that, "Our beloved Mr. Walters doesn't have time for this pish-posh nonsense ideas, especially from a woman".  

 I started to believe he was right. I mean, I was a woman in an all men-company. Women here are usually just on the bottom of the success chain in this entire facility. It wasn't until that one day where I was having the worst afternoon, deadlines of articles aren't being met so we were feeling the wrath of Mr. Gertid. I decided for my hour lunch, I was going to a local coffee shop, grab a caramel latte, and go into the park and listen to some lofi hip-hop music to ease my stress. The coffee shop was filled with bike riders, employees, stay at home mothers so they can refuel. And then he turned around. Now here's the biggest twist, it wasn't a man I fell in love with, this guy is a friend that someone like me needed, a friend to help me with my self-help. And the best of all, he helped me stick to my New Year's resolution, which changed my life forever. His name was Lafayette, and he was the best friend I have ever had. He complimented my headband and it was from then that I carried such an inspiring conversation with this guy that I lost track of time. He was a writer, a music producer, and a free flow spirit. We decided to continue our conversation over dinner that night, he said my ora intrigued him.  

 That same night, we went to a Colombian restaurant. Where we had the most authentic traditional dishes from Colombia itself. I then asked him, "What made you want to see me tonight?" He replied, "You want to be heard, but everyone's ignoring you because of your mental vulnerability." I was shocked how right he was, it's like he knew me. He said my spirit reminded him of his sister, who sadly passed away from an overdose. He then explained how she never spoke up, depression got the best of her, and she decided enough was enough. He also informed me, he is a self-help advisor. And he wanted to help me, to become a better me. So he then proceeded to explain he would like to meet with me often, to help me with my confidence and find my voice. I asked him why did he want to help me? He said, "To save you from this ugly comfort zone that's drowning you."  

 And from then on, it was exactly that. He'd meet with me and we'd have a reading hour, meditate, and even talked about my goals and how to achieve them. I loved spending time with someone who understood me, but at the same time was patient enough to help me become a better writer and person. This went on for about ten months until Lafayette called me one day and canceled our usual lunch meeting. "It's a personal, complicated situation. When I am ready to speak on it, we shall meet then." I didn't hear from him for two weeks, until he called me on December 5, and asked me to meet him at our usual location: the coffee shop. I arrived shortly after hearing from him, and I didn't see my precious friend, Lafayette. I saw a thin man, so tired but had that amazing smile that made me feel loved and appreciated for existing. He had me sit and my stomach was tight with anticipation. "My friend," he says dryly and raspy. "It's time I tell you something that I should've told you a long time ago." Inhale, I thought, and I felt the pain of anxiety as I exhaled. "I have cancer." He blurted out the words and each syllable stabbed me painfully. We both cried and hugged each other tightly. I then told him we are to spend each time together until it's his time. And we did just that. We continued to do our usual self-help routines, except we made it more fun by going to movies, bowling, trips to the beach to watch sunsets and even going dancing. It was like time stood still and everything was okay.  

 He couldn't hold on any longer. It was December 31, and I was spending New Year's eve with my best friend alongside on his death bed. The one who changed my life, the one who helped me realize my worth. The one who helped me find my voice. His last words were, "When you hear your call being called, voice your ideas and that brilliant mind of yours. For your New Years resolution, I want you to find your voice, and shout it to the heavens even if people don't want to be heard by you." He took his last breath, then he was gone. My best friend, my mentor, my life guru, had left me.

 Due to the mourning of my beloved Lafayette. I took a week off from work to mentally stabilize myself. I returned to work, sad and angry that I will never talk to him again. But his last words stuck to me strongly, and I was ready to be heard one day. Cause that same day, Mr. Walters called for a staff meeting.  

 I went up to Mr. Gertid, "Sir, I believe these articles can help us with getting the sales of our magazines a lot more than last year. Now if you could just--". He cuts me off telling me a woman's idea is never taken seriously due to the emotional creatures we can become. I felt my blood boil and too choked up with anger to say anything. So I walked away and came up with an idea of my own. 

 The staff meeting was in session, and Mr. Walters was giving us the usual wrath about our magazine sales. He then asked, "Can anyone come up with an idea that will give us a miracle overnight?"

 There was my calling.

"I do! I do, Mr. Walters! Please if you just listen to what a woman has to say. I ask please!" I could feel Mr. Gertid's eyes glued to me with anger, I could hear the fire coming out of his ears. But this time, I didn't care. I found my voice. I shared my ideas with Mr. Walters and he fell in love with my articles. "Why wasn't this shown to me before? Gertid, this woman is brilliant."  

 "Mr. Gertid has told me my ideas are a waste of time, he told me you wouldn't be interested in hearing a woman's idea." Mr. Walters glared at Mr. Gertid and asked him to see him in his office after the meeting. It was the beginning of a new life, a new change, and new me. 

 All because of my New Year's resolution and promise I made to Lafayette. My voice has been found.