Nested beans

On the calmest of days, I go to the kitchen to make coffee. My caffeine addiction is acting up again. I think my chakra needs its daily realignment. I see the empty coffee bag on my living room table. Typical. Suddenly I remember there was a two-for-one special. I got the two different exotic blends, probably some Caribbean beans. Store-brand obviously but I still remember being impressed. I am a student after all, thus I could not pass up this golden opportunity to fuel my addictions responsibly. When I enter the kitchen, I realize that I left the ground coffee in my room earlier that day. So I head back to get it. As I enter my room I see my undone bed. The normally rectangular duvet now resembles the Kraken. I have to fix this. Afterwards, I go back to the kitchen to make coffee. Now I realize the coffee is still in my room, so I go there yet again to get it. When I’m in my room I pick up some stuff from the floor, which could be dangerous. What was I getting now again?

I go out to the kitchen again and realize I was about to get the coffee, so I go to my room to get it, hopefully for the last time. I am so forgetful today, I think to myself.  When I’m one step away from entering my room, I hear someone yelling my name: “Erika!”. I look to my left and see Marnus sticking his head out in the corridor, like a puppy sticking his head out of a car window during summer. “Do you want some coffee?” I turn to him. “I was just about to get some!”

“Yuuh! We can make some in my room if you want” 

“Sure, should I bring some ground coffee?”

“Nah, it’s actually already brewing” he says. We exeunt to his room. As I enter the room, I ask: “Should I get some cups tho?”. Marnus does not have the chance to reply before Hristiana mercilessly bangs on the door. In a voice befitting Dracula’s daughter, she screams with a blood-curling growl: “Marnus! I know you’re in there! I heard you showering earlier!”. I freeze, Marnus freezes, for the fear sent us into a state of paralysis. She has arrived: The Girl Next Door. Even the cat ran off. I turn to Marnus and say: “ I sense a disturbance in the Force.” Marnus does not move a muscle…. Suddenly, Hristiana brings the door down by breaking the hinges clean off. “Are you guys having coffee? Why don’t you come for a chat and a cigarette in my room. I have chocolate”, she says in the sweetest voice. Begrudgingly, we accept the probability of secondhand smoking induced respiration complications and agree to go with the promise of chocolate with our coffee. Then, spontaneously, like an ivory king with the beauty of a fictional elven lord, Lionel walks in the corridor. Marnus rushes to the door to see him and loses his cool composure. His face drops when Lionel’s girlfriend, Blanca, follows in behind him.  An expression of “Oh no, not her” is etched all over Marnus’ face. Marnus murmures something about the bane of his happiness. I might have misheard. Abruptly, in a bid to grab Lionel’s attention, Marnus loses his sense of reality and accidentally twerks into the coffee table, on which the ground coffee stands, or rather, was standing a second ago. 

Hristiana starts to resemble a chimney more and more, where she stands smoking in her corner. Marnus moves his gaze slightly below the table, where the coffee stands on a pile. My ruined two-for-one nightmare. Hristiana rushes to clean the mess but slips in the process and falls face first, then continues on falling out through the door and the rest of the corridor, just like a scene in a Bollywood movie. DJ Vicksy shows up and her rave cave looks messier than ever, playing Cups up - my favorite hoe anthem from my favorite stripper playlist. Hristiana falls rhythmically to the music. “I think we should help her, but what about the coffee?”

“Hristiana,” I shout, “can you get some cups on your way back?”. She seems to be heading in that direction anyways. DJ Vicksy finishes her set and asks: “ Should we have tea instead?”  She’s obviously a punk. “We should put it to a vote”, I suggest. “No, absolutely not, this is a dictatorship not a democracy” Hristiana shouts while still falling towards the kitchen, her voice fading away as the distance grows. The rest of them all vote for coffee. As always, DJ Vicksy the lone wolf. The sole survivor with zero survival skills. It is established. We taketh the coffee berry route. I start feeling the excitement of finally getting to enjoy my fresh coffee robusta. Mama needs some caffeine. It occurs to me to fetch some milk. I don’t seem to have any milk, but since we are all gathered I re-enter Hristiana’s room and decide to ask whether someone has any. No one is there. Only a Jim Carrey poster, some fortune cookies and a steaming mug of canephora placed square in the middle of a knee-high coffee table. At this point I am perplexed. As I bring the cup of freshly brewed, hot coffee to my mouth, I suddenly feel a wet smear across my face. It feels as if my hair was having a BDSM party at a swinger’s club and never took off last night’s make-up. Very entangled, even Jada Smith couldn’t compete. Is this hell?

As I wake up from my dream, those are the first coherent thoughts that echo in my mind. I feel, in my right hand, the empty mug I’m holding. I realize it was all a crazy dream, probably the evening sun that made me dizzy. Now that I’m awake, I know I have to study. I head out to the kitchen to make some coffee. As I get there, I realize the grounded coffee is in my room. I go back there to fetch it. Suddenly, I hear Marnus shouting my name. “Erika!”  I look to my left, where I see Marnus sticking his face out in the corridor.. “Do you want some coffee?”

I turn to him. “I was just about to make some, should I bring something?” 

“Nah, it’s already brewing”.

I head down the corridor to his room.