From Carefree To Careful

Stacy woke up to a cold and peaceful quiet in her room. A brisk cold air came through the old windows in her bedroom. She kneels in bed peering through the window at the big a blanket of snow that had covered the streets overnight. A huge smile on her face quickly disappears as she caught sight of her alarm blinking 12:00AM.

"OH NO I HAVE TO GET TO WORK!"

Stacy slips on the blanket as she tries to run to the bathroom to get ready. A few colorful words leave her mouth as she feels a stabbing pain in her back.

She gets up and hobbles over to her desk to call her boss and tell they she will be late. A huge wave of happiness covers her as she realizes that it's Saturday.

"WHEW THANK GOODNESS!!" I really need to relax she laughs as she hobble faster to the kitchen to make breakfast. The smell of Canadian Bacon and coffee fill the kitchen as she ponders what to do for the day. She moves the table next to the window to enjoy her breakfast and people watch with her beloved beagle Skittles.

"(Sigh) You know Skittles, there was a time where I used to enjoy going out in the snow, throwing myself on the ground to make snow angels. I used to hop and skip and run with no care in the world, no pain in my bones or stresses to fret over."

Skittle stares and barks, eyeing the bacon and eggs she waves with her fork.

"Don’t get me wrong, I still get excited when I see the snow, I remember all the good times I had and I want to go out and play but I’m too damn old. I have too many aches and pains and with everything that’s been going on lately, I have very little to no motivation to even bother.”

Stacy scarfs down the rest of her eggs and gives Skittles her toast and watches as two kids start a playful snowball fight with an older couple. Bracing for what she thought would be a confrontation begins to laugh as she sees the older couple join in on the fun.

“HAHAHAHA I totally thought THAT was going to end differently!” Again her smile turned into a frown. “Damn, they are older than me and here I am barely able to move my back or run anymore. What a bloody loser I turned out to be Skittles!! WHAT A WASTE OF SPACE!”

Stacy’s eyes fill with tears an all too familiar and unwanted guest…Depression. Just as she decides to go back to bed and pull the covers over her face as she had done numerous times over the past few months, Skittles excitedly starts barking and waving his tail as he peers out the window.

“Ugh I don’t care I’m going to bed,” As she turns Skittles barks even louder, his enthusiasm peeking her interest.

“What is soo exciting out there Skit?”  Stacy approaches the window to see a couple of dogs and a small group of people having a good ol snowball fight.  It looked like some were trying to build forts as more snow began to fall. She began to laugh and then she caught sight of a young woman with crutches and one leg who was walking by. The young woman bent down to seemingly tie her shoe only to then pick up some snow and throw it at the young kids who were building a fort. The kids delighted at having a new recruit built a makeshift snow chair behind the fort for the woman to sit on and throw snowballs with them. 

Another group of kids recruit and older couple on the other side of the street to help them build a fort and off they went back and forth with laughter filling the empty streets. Tears being to fill Stacy’s eyes again. Skittles whimpers and puts his paw on her hand, With a smile and laugh she hugs her beloved beagle.

“I’ve been cooped up in this damn apartment for too long!!!! I need to get out. I need some fresh air! I know it’s not the same and I have a lot of health problems, but look at those people outside. They are having soo much fun. I want to have some fun too!!! DEPRESSION, YOU WILL NOT WIN TODAY!!! Let’s go Skittles we got a date with some snow today!”

Stacy runs to her room with Skittles in tow and gets dressed.

“Okay Skittles, you ready?” Skittles howls in approval as they rush down the stairs.

“AHH do you feel that beautiful cold air Skit?” His tail wags excitedly after he barks his approval.

They start to make their way toward the empty, snow covered streets, a snowball hits Stacy on the leg.

“Anyone who approaches our fort will be considered an enemy!!” Yelled a boy with a handful of snowballs. Skittles, the fervent protector saw no threat in the boy’s actions, however.  He just saw an opportunity to play. 

“Woah there skittles, we won’t be joining this bunch. We are joining the other side! I will warn you, I was the pitcher of my high school softball team. I can still throw pretty well!”

“OH YEAH, We’ll see about that!!” Then all of a sudden softball sized snowballs began whizzing past stacy hitting the boy and making him drop his icy ammunition. 

“Hey lady, why don’t you and your dog come join us? We can use an extra person, since that older couple left to pick up some doughnuts” yelled a girl who looked like Hermoine Grainger from Harry Potter. Skittles ran over immediately with Stacy in tow to join in on the fun. 

At least 45 minutes went by and Stacy never felt more alive. She didn’t notice any pain in her joints, the only soreness she felt was her face from smiling for soo long. She didn’t even check her watch until she noticed it had gotten a little darker outside.

 “Man that was fun, but I think it’s time to for me to go home and make some dinner. Thank you for inviting me to play. Haven’t done that in a loooong time!” she giggled.

 “Wait lady, how about joining us on a little skate-less ice skating?” the girl asked her. “Yeah, looks like the rest of the street is pretty frozen over now, let’s pretend that we’re Olympic ice skaters!”

Stacy looked at them like they were nuts. I’m too old, she thought. Then the older couple who had been playing earlier and left, came back with some doughnuts.

“Well, I may be in my 60s, but I used to skate semi-professionally. My name is Joan by the way and this is my husband Michael.” Stacy looked hesitant but nodded in agreement.

“Okay, I’ll try…my name is Stacy and this is Skittles.” The kids jumped up with joy. “YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let’s go, we have to be home for dinner soon” 

Off they ran jumping onto the ice with no care in the world, sliding back and forth with the sound of their laughter filling the air. Stacy held back. “What if I fall? These kids are crazy...and that couple is nuts too!”   All the negative chatter filled her brain and the anxiety hit. “This is stupid, I’m going home, I had some fun but it’s time to be real...I’m too damn old for this” she said out loud. 

“Wait lady, where are you going?” shouted the kids. 

“I think it’s time for me to go, I’m just not brave enough to step on that. It could be dangerous for me and I have enough problems. 

“But you said you haven’t had that much fun in a long time,” the Hermoine look alike said. 

“Yes but I’m too old for this stuff. Too old with too many aches and pains. I need to be more serious and focused and serious.” Growled Stacy.

“You said serious twice lady and you looked happy. And you know something? My teacher told us this once and I think you need to hear this. “You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.” Stacy stared at the girl.

“Wow that’s pretty deep” I never thought about it like that. I guess I was soo busy missing how carefree I was that I turned into a person who is just overly careful and cautious about everything.  Okay, I’ll join you.” The girl smiled. 

“And we will make sure you don’t fall!” the kids chimed in. With a little trepidation but determination as well, Stacy stepped on to the frozen streets and smiled. It’s time to live.