Attempted Cannibalism Locker Prank

(Sensitive topic: Cannibalism mention)

“Friends make life a lot more fun”

I think that’s nonsense. Especially since my insane, wannabe sit-com character FRIENDS are the reason I ended up in this wretched abomination that they have the nerve to label as “The principal's office”. I mean, these chairs are like a thousand years old and on the verge of ascending to heaven. Or hell. I don’t know WHAT these chairs have been through but there’s no way it was something cutsey enough to keep them in regular condition. Don’t even get me started on these lights, if you’re going to put those two-bar lights, at least make them the same hue?!

There’s also a mirror facing the door on the table, so the first thing you see when you enter is yourself. I have a feeling they designed this entire office tactically, like it was MADE for you to hate yourself. Picture this, You get in trouble for “constantly” writing death threats on the wall, (Even though it was ONE TIME) they call you to the principal’s intentionally miserable office, The first thing you see when you enter is yourself, in the worst lighting known to mankind. Then you walk to the chairs and prepare for the loudest creek that can probably be heard from the wendy’s down the street. Then comes the”life-changing” lecture you’ve heard over and over again from the SAME bald middle-aged man that’s probably cheating on his wife, or the opposite, I don’t know, his wife is WAY too hot, I have no idea how he pulled her.

“You’re a good student, you have to reach deep inside you and bring out the will power in you!”

I pretend to care, nod a little and throw in a few “I understand and it won’t happen again”s, and he lets me go. I think it’s extremely hypocritical that I’M forced to sit in this room that's an insult to the concept of interior designing itself, while these adults get to give the same speeches and torture teenagers, WHILE BEING THE ONES WHO GET PAID???

I get back to my classroom. As much as I hate it, I’d rather be here than that stupid office.

“Maddison, I swear to god if I’m called in that office ONE MORE TIME because of your stupid obsession with locker pranks, I’m going to actually eat you. In the literal sense.”

The reason I got in trouble was because this girl, who I’d kinda call my friend, has this weird and honestly kind of funny obsession with cannibalism. So for like, the fourth time that week, she was talking about her cannibalism fanfictions, (I’m starting to think I should get a little worried for her) My friend Maddison suggested that It’d be funny to leave a note saying “Bon appetit!” and a fake human liver in someone’s locker. This wasn’t the first time she suggested this, she’s always had a thing for locker pranks, but for some reason, this time my dumbass thought it’d be funny specifically because of the bon appetit part (I’m starting to think I have a problem now, the cannibalism chick infected me.) and so did all the other dumbasses in my friend group.

So we all snuck out of class, because it’s the only time the hallways are completely empty. We were walking up to the biology lab but we were met with the snarky, biology teacher, who’s name I honestly didn’t remember. Obviously we all were kind of suicidal by then.

“Why doesn’t Ms. Nicole LITERALLY have her stupid lunch in the stupid teacher’s room?”

Ohhh, that’s what her name was!

“Maddison, as much as I don’t like her, even I wouldn’t want to eat next to all those middle-aged adults with no life and probably high kids.” I whispered.

“She’s literally a clone of them.”

“I literally want you to die right now”

“I literally want to die right now”

“What a 16-year-old thing to say” Cannibalism chick chimes in.

“Literally no one asked”

Just when I thought we all strategically snuck out of class (asked to go to the bathroom) for nothing, we saw a teacher walking by. We all obviously lost our nonchalant energy and began to hide under whatever non-see through object we saw. Cannibalism chick hid behind the solar system model scrapped from the science fair, IN BETWEEN THE PLANETS.

So Maddison, regardless of having a huge head, has a really tiny brain. She thought she could use this teacher as a distraction, so she crawled behind her and stabbed the teacher’s calf with her pencil. See, when I asked Maddison WHAT she thought would happen, she said that the teacher would’ve yelled, and Ms. Nicole would’ve heard the yelling and left the biology lab. But obviously that didn’t happen, and Maddison crawled behind the lockers the second the teacher yelped and looked back.

You’re probably wondering what I was doing during all this, I was looking at the solar system model. They placed the planets in the wrong order. REALLY wrong, the earth was orbiting the moon. No wonder it didn’t win and was scrapped. Anyways, I zoned out looking at the inaccurate model, and didn’t realize ALL my friends were hiding except me. When I snapped back to reality, I looked at the VERY tall figure standing in front of me, with the most atrocious expression.

She looked at the red gel pen in my pocket, I used it to write the “Bon appetit” note.

And I ended up in the principal’s office.

“THE CRAZIEST THING, THEY DIDN’T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE PENCIL! THE PRINCIPAL JUST LECTURED ME FOR SKIPPING CLASSES WHICH MAKES NO SENSE, CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT-”

While I was yelling at Maddison, she cut me off and replied with the most diabolical sentence to the point where I was dreaded to be the first person in my entire bloodline to hear it.

“We did the prank anyway”

We heard a shriek in the hallway, and we ran to the door window to see a bunch of middle schoolers playing hot potato with a fake human intestine instead of a liver. I mentally prepared myself to say the thought that I had just formed.

“That’s an intestine, you idiots. And the security cameras are on.”

They looked at each other in the most sit-com “I just screwed up” way. Get a load of these weirdos.