A Twisted Night

Written in response to: Set your story during a sudden change of season.... view prompt

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Adventure Kids Friendship

Hello! My brother Derek just wrote this story and shared it with me. This is his first story (over 1,000 words) so please don't hate. I didn't read through the entire thing but from the amount I read, I thought it was pretty good for a 10 year old! If he write's any more stories then I will ask him if I can post it! Hype him up in the comments please(I want to show him that this writing community is fun & awesome!) Here is his story, A Twisted Night

By Derek K.

Once there was a kid named Nicky.  Nicky just moved to Spring Power from Greenville.  On Nicky's first day of school in Apple Pine Elementary School he got A’s in all of his tests but a bully got jealous and started to bully Nicky.  Nicky got bullied almost all the time until some kids named Bob, Fred, and Chuck came.  They got the bully away from Nicky so he was safe at his school.  Nicky became friends with Bob, Fred, and Chuck. They started to meet each other everyday to play.  They loved to ride bikes, play four square, climb trees, make things, and play video games.  Their favorite thing to do was play in their tree house in the woods by Nicky's house.  One day when they were going to the tree house they heard a weird buzzing noise.  They sent Chuck up to see what it was, then he screamed.   His scream sounded like nails on a chalkboard. He came running down the ladder with a big swarm of wasps behind him.  Everybody started to scream and run to Nicky’s house so they wouldn't get stung by the wasps.  While they were running they ran through some trees but then yellow jackets started chasing them.  Then they got to Nicky’s house and slammed the door shut.  Nicky’s mom said “What's going on?”  Nicky said as he took a breath, “Wasps and yellow jackets were chasing us”. After Nicky and his friends caught their breath they went to the tree house in bee suits and took the wasp's nest and threw it into a big hole in the ground and covered it with cement.  After they were done with that they went to the tree house to play video games.  They were all playing Animal Cafe.  When they were playing Animal Cafe Nicky looked out the window of the tree house. He saw something flying and he heard a weird noise that said, “You will only have three days to escape”.  Nicky thought it was something to scare them out of the tree house so he did not listen to the weird noise and continued playing his game with his friends.  When Nicky was playing his game it glitched a little and then he and his friends heard thunder then they felt a draft and it was getting stronger.  Then a portal opened up on Nicky's game and he and his friends got sent into Animal Cafe.   When they fell into Nicky’s game Bob said “What just happened?”  Then Nicky said “I don’t know but it was cool”.  They started looking at everything around them when they were done talking.  They always wanted to live in a video game world.  When Bob was thinking about a plan to escape the video game he remembered that he had a camera monitor in his pocket and he had a camera set up in the tree house and his bedroom.  He immediately got the monitor and looked at it.  When he turned it on it was glitchy but it cleared out a little.  When he looked he saw everything in the tree house and his bedroom.  Then he looked out of his bedroom window and saw missing posters that had his and his friend’s faces on them.  He immediately ran to go find his friends to tell them what he saw.  Bob found Nicky eating the biggest banana split in the world so he waited until he was done eating it.  About three hours later Bob woke up and found Nicky sleeping so he woke Nicky up to tell him what he saw.  When Bob told Nicky what he saw they immediately started to look for Chuck and Fred.  They looked everywhere for them but they couldn't find them.   Then they both heard a big loud monster truck and Chuck was in it.  Chuck parked in the parking lot right next to the cafe.  Chuck climbed out of the monster truck and said “Is this cool or what?”,  After he said that Bob showed him what he saw on the monitor.  Then Chuck said “we need to get out of here!”  While Chuck was talking Nicky interrupted him and said “when I looked out the tree house window I saw something flying and it said, “You have three days to get out”.  Then Bob and Chuck wondered why Nicky didn’t tell them before. But then Bob came up with a plan to escape the video game.  He thinks he can make a portal made out of electricity from a thunderstorm.  “But we don’t know when the next thunderstorm is,” Nicky said.  Then Bob said “find these things in the city, the things that I need to open the portal are on this list.”  Nicky read them out loud and said “A big metal beam that was about 15 feet long, a propeller from a windmill, and a big tub of ice cream, Choco chunk flavor.”  “Why do you need a big tub of ice cream?” said Nicky.  “That information is restricted,” said Bob.  When Nicky and Chuck were walking to get the stuff Chuck said “he probably wants to eat the big tub of ice cream.”  Nicky also thought he was going to eat the big tub of ice cream.  When they found the windmill part a grumpy dog walked up to them and said “go away, I don’t like people on my property.”  “But we need the top of that windmill,” said Nicky.  “I will give it to you only if you will help me get some bananas,” said the old dog.  When they got back from the store the dog thanked them and handed them the windmill.  While they were looking for the next thing on the list, a metal pole, they found Fred trapped in a cage.  They ran as fast as they could to Fred to see what happened.  He said that he stepped on a rope and it picked him up.  Then Nicky remembered about the sharp blades on the windmill so he used it to cut the net open.  When he was done cutting the net open they continued looking for the items.  It took them a few hours to find the metal pole but they found it in the middle of a junkyard.  They tried to lift it but it was just too heavy.  Nicky looked around a little and then he found the perfect thing to get the pole to Bob, he found a car.  When Nicky got in the car it fired right up.  He drove the car over to Chuck and Fred and said “tie the pole onto the top of the car”.  Fred and Chuck were impressed that Nicky knew how to drive a car.  When they got the pole tied down and started to drive back to Bob, Nicky remembered that they needed to get the ice cream so they drove to the grocery store.  When they bought the ice cream they started to make their way back to Bob.  When they arrived their jaws dropped because he built a rocket ship.  Then Bob said “give me the pipe and the windmill to build a lightning attractor.”.  After a few minutes Bob was done building the lightning attractor and said “hop into the spaceship.”  Before Bob hopped into the ship he pressed a green button and then a portal opened up.  When they were about in the portal the spaceship started to fall apart.  Everybody started to panic but then Bob pressed a red button and it ejected everybody into the portal.  When they all woke up they found themselves back in their tree house.    Before they left the tree house they promised to never speak about that again.

November 03, 2021 03:29

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2 comments

I agree with CJ! This is a really good story for a ten year old. I say that being close to ten. Or maybe ten. ;) Well done to him!

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ℂ𝕁 𝕄.
04:39 Nov 09, 2021

This is a great story, especially for a 10-year-old. It reminds me of the stories I used to come up with back when I was 10 -CJ

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