Grandad's New Toy

“Hello, is that you Adam?”

“Yes Granddad. What’s up?”

“Nothing my boy. Nothing at all. It’s just that I’ve, um, gone and bought myself a computer.”

“Hey, Granddad, well done. So, you’ve caught up with the times at last?”

“Now don’t be cheeky lad?”

“Just joking Granddad. How’s it going?”

“It’s not. That’s what I’m phoning you about. I need some help here.”

“What do you mean it’s not going Granddad?”

“I mean the screen, if that’s what you call it, is completely blank. I’ve plugged it in at the mains, but nothing’s happening. Just a black screen.”

“You have to switch it on Granddad. It doesn’t come on automatically.”

“But I can’t find a switch. That’s why I thought it was broken. There’s no switch, nothing, just this screen.”

Arthur heard the faint sounds of chuckling echoing down his mobile phone. “Either you run your hand along the front, near the corners or you put your hand around the back and find a button. It won’t be very noticeable. You’ll have to search for it.”

“Oh, all right then, I’ll try that. Wait a minute.”

Arthur ran his hand along the front of his new computer. Nothing happened. With a sigh he felt around the back and discovered a small indentation into which he placed his fingertip.

“Ah, you’ve started it up then Granddad. I can hear the sound.”

“Yes, thanks Adam. It seems to be working now. I’ve got a pretty picture of the seaside in front of me.”

“That will be your desktop Granddad.”

“My desktop? Why on earth is it called my desktop when I’ve already got a desktop? My computer is on my desktop and now I have another one. This is so confusing Adam.”

Arthur smiled to himself as he shook his head.

“Hang on a minute Adam there’s a rectangular box and a little line that keeps coming and going.”

“It’s called ‘flashing’ Granddad. The line is flashing to indicate something needs to be done. It wants your password. Have you got your mouse?”

“Mouse? Mouse? I’m not like you Adam with all your reptiles and that little tortoise you have. I kept mice and rats when I was your age, but I don’t have any mice now, son.”

“I don’t mean a real mouse Granddad. I mean the thing you work the computer with. It’s called a mouse. Did they give you a keyboard and another small device? That small device is your mouse.”

“Yes, I’ve got what you call a keyboard with all the letters of the alphabet on it. It’s not at all helpful though the letters are all over the place and not in alphabetical order.”

“They’re meant to be like that Granddad. It’s like a typewriter keyboard.”

“Oh, I never learned to type. Your Nan did though, and she was good at it. I will have to find the keys one at a time. It will take me a while, but I expect I’ll get used to it.”

“You need to hold your mouse Grandad and then you will see a little arrow come up on the screen.”

“That’s amazing Adam. Now what do I do?”

“Now you point your mouse, the arrow, at that flashing line and start typing in your password.”

“But I haven’t got a password. They didn’t give me one.”

“Did they give you a receipt Granddad?”

“Yes Adam, but I don’t know where it is at the moment. I hope I haven’t thrown it away.”

“I expect they’ve put your password on the receipt for you. You’ll need to find it.”

“Well the very nice lady in the shop told me the computer was all set up and ready to go and I didn’t need to do anything. I paid extra money for that. I’ll see if I can find the receipt. I’ll phone you back in about ten minutes Adam.”

Arthur rummaged around in the drawers of his desk but failed to find a receipt. Then he noticed a piece of paper sticking out from a book sitting on a chair near him.

“There you are you silly receipt. Trying to hide from me. Now let’s see if there’s this password Adam wants. Ah, yes, there it is PASSWORD – plokij123.”

“Is that you Adam? I’ve got the password. It’s a bit weird it’s plokij123.”

“Type it in then Granddad. Then click the return key and it will open up your computer.”

Arthur typed in the password and waited.

“What do you mean-return key Adam?”

“On your keyboard, there’s a key on the right with an arrow that turns back on itself-like it’s got a hook on it. Tap that.”

“I think that’s done it Adam. I think it’s working now.”

“Great Granddad. I’ll leave you to it then.”

“No, Adam. I don’t know what to do next.”

“What do you want to do then Granddad?”

“I don’t know Adam. What can I do?”

“You can send me an email if you like. Just to get used to it and to see how it all works.”

“Is that a bit like texting on the phone Adam?”

“Yes, it’s a little bit like texting and you know how to do that don’t you?”

“Of course, I do son. I’m not that daft.”

“Right, Granddad. Open a window.”

“I’m not opening any window. It’s freezing out and it’s just started snowing.”

“I don’t mean open a window Granddad. I mean open a window. Get your mouse and point the arrow at the little cross right at the top. This will open what we call a window.”

“Oh, all these new words. I thought having a computer was going to be easy.”

“It will be Granddad once you get used to using it.”

“I hope so my boy. I really hope so. Now I’ve got this, what-you-call-it window thingy open so now what do I do?”

“Can you type in Hotmail Granddad and then click the return key again.”

“h-o-t-m-a-i-l.  Return key. I’m getting good at this. Done it Adam.”

“Now Granddad I hope the shop has already signed you up to this. Or else you will need another password.”

“Yes Adam, it looks as if it is working. The assistant did spend ages with me in the shop, but it was beyond my understanding. I wasn’t going to let her know I’m a computer imbecile. I just went along with it. I pretended I knew what she was doing.”

“Oh, Granddad, I’m sure they have many complete beginners go into their shop to buy computers. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“It’s okay for you Adam. You were brought up with all this technology. You know how difficult it was for me to learn how to use that iPhone you helped me buy. This is even worse!”

“You’ll soon get the hang of it Granddad. No need to worry. Now have you managed to get into your Hotmail account while we’ve been talking?”

“Yes. It all looks good.”

“That’s great Granddad. Now you can type me an email.”

“Right, Adam. What shall I put?”

“Anything Granddad it doesn’t matter. It’s just to get you used to using the keyboard and mouse and becoming computer literate.”

“Right, well here goes. h-e-l-l-o-a-d-a-m. I’ve typed it out so now what do I do?”

“You need to click your mouse on ‘send’.”

“Don’t click ‘delete’ Grandad.”

“Ooops.”