The Only Chance for Us

2002

Kervin and Marcus are childhood bestfriends. They met on their sixth grade, when they both had a crush on Lily, the prettiest girl in their class. The young lads swore that one of them will be the boyfriend of Lily. One time during their recess break, they saw her holding hands with John. John is the son of the school principal. John always had a new uniform every year. John who had slicked back hair just like Leonardo Di Carprio. They both know they had no chance of winning Lily’s heart, and instead Kervin invited Marcus over to his house to play Final Fantasy XI. From then on, Marcus would often sleep in his bestfriend’s home and they would sleep in opposite directions.

Marcus was raised alone by his alcoholic father who often forget to make dinner. When Kervin’s parents knew about this, they always had an extra plate for Marcus. In their hearts, Marcus became part of Kervin’s family.

On Christmas Day, Kervin’s mom gave them pajamas. Green one for Kervin and blue for Marcus.

2013

“I love you”

Hearts pounding as one, Marcus and Kervin said those words in unison. In this right moment, both of them unaware of each other’s feelings, gained the courage to say what one felt for the other. In this fleeting moment, they both realized that they always knew what they felt for each other. A fork in the road then stood before them, to remain as friends, or to take a leap of faith.

A year later, they celebrated their first anniversary. Kervin surprised Marcus with a puppy.

2021

Kervin finally walked out of the door forever, something that Marcus always dreaded would happen. He didn’t even looked back at Max, whining at the scene unfolding before him, looking at the door left open by Kervin, his Papa who always had treats to give him when he came home but this time, he only came home to get his things. Knees weak at the love of his life walking out of their 7 year relationship, Marcus miserably dragged himself to Max. He hugged him tightly as continuous stream of salty tears flowed freely unto his Coldplay shirt and unto the golden fur of Max and sensing his sadness, the golden retriever licked his Dad’s tears dry.

He can’t do anything by himself. He depended on Kervin too much for too long that he now felt as if a bone has been pulled out of him. Every part of his body ached and longed for Kervin’s warmth. Through his teary eyes, he can almost see Kervin smiling at him, the way he smiled on the earlier years of their relationship. He can almost hear him smile, hear his contagious laugh, where he laughed at any silly thing that they did together.

Max is snoring lightly, curled up against the thigh of Marcus, and the latter drifted off to sleep, blissful memories with Kervin playing on his troubled mind.

Marcus woke up to his phone ringing. He saw Justine’s name flash on the screen but he just turned his phone off. Justine is a mutual friend of Kervin and Marcus, but he just wants to be alone for now. A ray of moonlight entered his living room and he begrudgingly dragged himself to draw the blinds shut. He wanted to be consumed by the darkness and by his misery. A single tear dropped on the carpet as he remembered that Kervin will never walk through the door again. He wanted so much to hold him in his arms again but he knew that wasn’t possible. He got up from his spot and all of his joints complained. He stumbled his way to their room and frantically rummage through the laundry bag to look for a soiled shirt of Kervin. He found a Pikachu shirt and he sniffed it, and there is a faint scent of Kervin. Marcus’ knees buckled and he sobbed as he realized his solitude. Everybody has left him. His father disowned him the moment he him that he loved Kervin, he has no friends except Justine, but he knows he’ll be taking the side of Kervin. That only leaves him Max. He suddenly felt guilty as he mustered his strength and went to the kitchen to give Max his dinner. The thought of dinner revolted Marcus and he just downed a glass of orange juice. Their fridge is almost empty but the thought of going to the supermaker already tired him out. Whenever they go shopping, Kervin is the one items taking from the aisles and Marcus is more than happy pushing the grocery cart and. Their fridge. Our fridge. He suddenly felt a cold air pass as he realized that it’s just his anymore. My fridge. A fresh stream of salty tears trickled down his already tear dried cheeks. Everything hurts. Everything in their home reminded him of Kervin. Our home. Our kitchen. Our bedroom. Maybe even their bathroom, Kervin might have forgotten his toothbrush. Kervin always decided the colors of their toothbrush. Green for Kervin and blue for Marcus.

He thought about what led them to this. How the forked road had led them here. “No”, he thought. All the things that happened led them to this.

2023

Marcus tried reach Kervin through Facebook and Instagram. He had also tried calling him but it all went to the voicemail. He had even said why he was reaching out it the first place.

Max had been his companion for a long time now. He was his only family left and he’s been ill for some time now, and the veterinarian had diagnosed him with cancer. When the time finally came, Marcus held Max’s hand as he went to a peaceful sleep.

“Thank you, Max.” This is the most painful moment for Marcus, but he smiled for his loyal bestfriend and son, who was always there for him when no one else was.

2025

In this post-pandemic world, people are still afraid of removing their masks in fear of contracting COVID-19, the virus that ravage the world and challenged governments and institutions. But even though half of his face covered by face mask, Marcus still recognized that smiling eyes, even with wrinkles forming around the eyes, looking at him with admiration and love. This time, it is meant for another person. Kervin is looking with admiration at a young woman who was laughing at something he might have said. Marcus reminisced all that had happened. The laughter and the tears. The ups and downs of his life. He smiled. He felt free and independent. He felt proud that he is still there, fighting for his place albeit alone. He then continued on his walk and he removed to wipe his eyeglasses that became foggy with all the memories, he found himself thrown back and sitting on his bottom at the side of a coffee shop. He looked up to a man who kept repeating sorry and gave him his eyeglasses with their palms grazing each other and he felt a zap running through his body. The man must have caught his eyeglasses when they bumped into each other. The man didn’t stopped apologizing even though Marcus said it was okay.

“At least let me buy you a coffee”, offered the man.

Marcus looked up to the man who smiled nervously.

“I’m Marcus, and let’s find another coffee shop. I hear their coffee here tastes sour”.