Like everyday when i crossed railway road for my office i saw a girl sitting beside a dirty wall. She looks very exhausted and maybe she smiting very rudely by someone. For some moment my heart pulsation get stop. I saw in her eyes there are no pain but something different thing which want to shout. I want to talk with her but my watch remind me i have few minutes to reach my office.
After my office i come back and i feel so restless. Whole day i just though about the girl. I just though about her eyes It's so deep and meaningful. I take my coffee mug and go to my reading room. Today's weather is so cold ans gloomy. I take a Chair go my balcony and enjoy the coffee. Suddenly a black butterfly come into my balcony and it’s fly freely. I seeing it and sip my coffee. Now i feel whole day's tiredness start knocking my eyes so it’s time to sleep. But the butterfly continuously fly in my balcony. I say it " ok dear little butterfly play my balcony, i am tired but your propellers are dark with red dot is amazing! "
I go to my room and lay on my bed. I fall a deep sleep very soon. I wake-up and i see that i am in a boat with some girls! It’s wonder me! " I muttering how it is possible? I was my room on my bed but wake-up in a boat!" I scared to see more then ten girls in that boat. What's going on? After few moments i asked a girl among them "where are we going now?" the girl simpered and answered " we all are the way of freedom". Again i muttering " way of freedom!" After one hour we reached an island and when we reached there i can't believe my eyes there are many girls more than two thousands! They are so busy and their eyes rambunctiousness with hope.
Now i can guess maybe i am going to part of a wonder. All of a sudden i hear a sober female voice. She say "I am black bloodworm " i try to see her face but the place is overcrowded. Finally i able to see her face! She is that girl who sat beside a dirty wall and i trued to read her eyes. She address herself 'black bloodworm' and she wear a long black cloth. I try to see again her eyes but i can't!
Maybe she will give speech today which is more valuable for all girls which are eagerly waiting to listen. But still i can't understand why i am here! I found that girl who is on the platform was so exhausted and helpless. But now she is look like a strength for others girl. And now i see her eyes sparking! Again i muttering "ok no more worry i have to face what's going on, good or bad!"
She start her speech. She says " i am the owner of this island. We all girls are the part of this island. Here we will not be dominated by any other human being." Then she says " follow my right hand yes that place there we will make a science lab and all girls will work there. Girls will strike out that innovative ideas to make our purpose fulfill. We will make a 'Dream way indicator' machine. " When audience here the name of this machine they astonished and asked her " how the machine work it’s new for us ". Then she smile and say " This machine help us to find our dream way, it will show the exact way that way will instruct us how we should work for goal". She again say " here is no-one who pulls us from behind to walk our way". "And that way will help us to be educated and self-defence". Among the audience one girl asked her " but whole life we will spent in this island?" The black bloodworm answer her " dear all girls will stay here till they are educated and strong to safe own self from the bad forces, and all girls will live here like a butterfly. After tamed all capacity you can leave this island to see the whole world. "
After her last sentence all girls clap their hands. And they shout loudly " We all are the pursuant of 'Black bloodworm ' and will be the witness of a devises machine."
Suddenly my start my headache and i wake-up. I see around but there are nobody in my room. I am alone on my bed and i see my clock. Now it’s 3am and it was a dream! But i am thirsty because this dream scared me. I surprised that black propellers with red dot butterfly now in my room! But i decide next morning i will find that girl and talk with her. I want to know about her. A ordinary girl came my dream as a courageous woman. How!
Next morning i go the road and i find her the same place. I set beside her and asked her last night you stay here? She answer "yes". Then i again asked what you want? Why you so exhausted? She see my eyes and says " I want a new world where women will live peacefully." Then she stand up and leave the place. I surprised and muttering " i want to know her eye's word and i saw the dream."
I can know her eye's word in my dream by my eyes and find her as 'Black bloodworm ' who is the representation of all women! It is not a dream it’s women rights and wishes. Maybe she never think one day she will give a speech for many girls! But it happened in my dream! And she will always remain my mind as a courageous woman.
I am waiting for her if she come back i will tell her about my dream! But i can't find her. My watch remind me so now i have to go. I start walking and think about that black butterfly. When i wake-up it was my room and i saw a dream about a courageous woman butterfly! I don't know what's going on but something different and amazing things. 'Dream way indicator' machine if i have! i will also find my way.
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47 comments
Hi Sanjida! I enjoyed the premise of the story a lot :) You might consider looking into a website like grammarly which will help you identify and fix grammatical issues to strengthen your stories. (Reading lots helps with this as well, like Christina suggested) Keep writing!
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Thank you so much to read my story and help me to find out my mistakes! Next time i will give more effort to solve my grammatical mistakes! 😊
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Hi Sanjida, thanks for sharing your story. I think you have some interesting ideas and imagery. For me, grammar is very important, and I recommend you work on that to make it easier for the reader to follow your story and get to know your characters without distraction. Especially watch out for those sneaky run-on sentences. Read lots and keep writing :)
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Thank you for your valuable comment! :)
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I thought this was a wonderful story. I think you did a fantastic job writing it. Great Job.
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Thanks a lot Daniel! ☺️
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Very lovely and interesting story! 😊💙🌟
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Thank you sooo much! :)
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Asides the grammar, your story was fantastic!
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Thank you! :)
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You're welcome.
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😊😊
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I love the story, but I noticed lots of typos and stuff. You need a few hyphens and the I's are capatialized when talking about yourself. Bit yeah, great work!
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Thank you so much for your valuable comment and next time i will follow your instructions 🥰🥰.
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Yeah, thanks! You can use a grammar correcting app or website to find all the mistakes and it usually fixes them for you.
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Okay!🥰 Thank you very much again😊
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I want to know from you my grammatical mistakes are too much? 😊 I mean i should give much efforts only for grammatical mistakes? 😊 waiting for your valuable reply.
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You should put as much effort into the plot and your characters as you do in grammar. Grammar is very important, but you also need good characters and a good plot. You have a lot of mistakes, but all you need is a correcting app to find them. I give the same effort for my storyline and plot as I do for my grammar. You should make sure your grammar is good, but also pay attention to your character. Like, in this one you explained how they felt very well, but the I's weren't capitalized. All you'd need to do to make it better is make sure tha...
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Thank you! And your comments are very important for me.. 🥰
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I love your title so much Sanjida! :)
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Thank you so much!🌼🌼😊
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Ahh, no problem!
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😊😊😊
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:)))))
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🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
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