You, Me, Us, and Them

"Jenna?"

"Yeah?"

"Door!"

"Gimme a- ah!" Jenna said, her shriek being cut off by a giggle. The five-year-old boy cradled in her lap sported a toothless smile and the biggest brown eyes she'd ever seen. "You weasel, don't pinch me! Pinching hurts, dude..."

The boy erupted into more laughter, clinging to her as she tried to rise to her feet.

"Tash, help!" Jenna said, trying and failing to keep her balance while fifty pounds of dead weight toppled her over. From her vantage point on the bed, Tash looked quite cozy with her legs loosely crossed.

"Nah," she replied, not bothering to look up from her tablet. "Blanket's really warm."

"You demon!" Jenna exclaimed, but she couldn't stifle her smile fast enough. "Travy, you gotta get off, please. Hey, Travis- hey!"

His hands were still chubby and soft, but they weren't as harmless as he thought they were. When his wayward flying hand smacked her across the jaw, it hurt.

Immediately, Travis sobered up and looked up at her with sad eyes. He clung to her pants and stepped on her toes.

"Sorry," he said.

"It's okay, buddy, but I gotta go," Jenna said, bending down and planting a kiss on his nose.

"Come right back," Travis ordered. Jenna nodded her affirmation and finally she was allowed to make the journey out of his bedroom, down the front hall, and towards the door. Her father was at the opposite end of the front room, standing in the doorway of the kitchen, pretending to intently mash potatoes. It was weird, but not enough so that it would warrant much more than a questioning look.

Thoughtfully rubbing her jaw, she didn't even think to check the peephole before opening the door.

The man on the other side stopped nervously pacing and squared his shoulders to the entrance.

Jenna stiffened. Her mouth fell open in shock. The man's mouth upturned in a hesitant smile; at least he had the decency to look uncomfortable.

After a few beats of silence, the man pulled his hands out of his jacket and started to fiddle with his zipper. "Hey, Jean-o."

That snapped her out of her stupor. In the nastiest voice she could conjure, she spat: "What are you doing here?"

His smile vanished. He swallowed thickly and furrowed his brows to make it seem like he was angry and not hurt.

"Sorry to disappoint," he said. "But I live here too."

"Like hell you do!" Jenna shouted. The man rocked back on his heels as if she had reached out and smacked him.

"Hey, easy." Her dad was at her side a moment later, sans potatoes, to step between them. The man was tall, but their dad was huge and much more intimidating. “Jenna, calm down.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me he was coming?” Jenna demanded.

Her dad was more confused than anything. “What? Your mom and I thought it would be a nice surprise-”

“A nice surprise?” Jenna parroted, making a face before turning to look at her stepmom, who was wringing her hands in the hallway. “What the hell?”

Her mother’s nostrils flared. “Jenna, stop it. Abraham’s family and you don’t choose who comes to Thanksgiving dinner.”

Jenna bit back her anger; she wasn’t mad at her parents, per se, and they didn’t deserve to carry the brunt of her frustration. So she huffed and stomped down the hall, back to Travis’ room, and slammed the door shut behind her.

Travis was curled at the bottom of his race car bed, his eyes misty.

“Why is Mommy angry?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. Jenna sighed and took a seat beside him. He buried his face into her sweater and she stroked his sleek black hair.

Tash had put the tablet aside. She was sitting up, staring at Jenna with unfiltered intensity.

“Is Abraham here?” Tash asked.

“Yeah,” Jenna said, sounding tired. She could hear he and her parents talking in the hall. Eventually, they migrated to the kitchen and Jenna shook out most of the tension in her shoulders.

Tash sounded much younger than sixteen when she spoke: “Why’re you upset?”

Jenna gave her a weird look. “What?”

Tash shifted uncomfortably and tucked her legs underneath her. “Dad was talking like it was a big surprise or something.”

Jenna had to look away. Again, she reminded herself that she wasn’t mad at Tash, so it wasn’t fair to take it out on her. She chewed the inside of her cheek, trying to cool the seething flames of anger that were burning up her chest.

Tash was nervously playing with a strand of her hair that was only a few shades lighter than Travis’. On a different occasion, Jenna would take a lock of her own hair and hold it up so they could compare. Or, more like Jenna could complain about how thin her hair was in comparison; she was a brunette through and through, one with fine strands at that.

Jenna rested her cheek on Travis’ head. He was still hiding in her sweater. The silence between them made her feel even worse. When Jenna finally spoke, she sounded defeated.

“I didn’t even know he and Dad were talking.”

Tash gave a one-shoulder shrug. She wouldn’t look up from the bedspread. “Abe called a few weeks ago. They talked it out.”

Suddenly, it was all Jenna could do not to cry. She didn’t know what she was nodding at; what Tash had said, or her inner monologue that was chanting of course he did over and over again. Of course he would reach out to their dad, but God forbid he returned any of her texts.

Still, Tash didn’t know about any of that. Or, at least Jenna hoped she didn’t. She tried to sound cheerful when she spoke, but ended up sounded utterly pathetic.

“Seems about right.”

“Why are you mad at Ab-ah-ham?” Travis asked, pushing himself upright. Jenna gave him a weak smile as she wiped the hair out of his eyes.

“It’s complicated, buddy,” she said hoarsely. Tash was playing with her hands, looking conflicted as to whether or not she should lean forward and give her obviously distraught older sister a hug. Before she could, the door swung open. In stepped their father.

He looked less than impressed. “Jenna.”

He jerked his head towards the hallway. Jenna tossed Tash a glance, then stood to her feet and peeled Travis off of her waist.

“See you,” Jenna said, planting a kiss atop his head before stalking out into the hall.

She couldn’t quite read her dad’s expression; was he embarrassed? Angry? Disappointed? All she knew was that he would rather study the carpet underfoot than meet her eyes.

“Abe’s outside,” he said.

Her mom was standing down the hall, her arms crossed. Past the anger in her expression was sadness; evidently, she thought all of the drama had been sorted already. Jenna’s shoulders slumped.

She chewed her tongue - a bad habit that she picked up from her older brother - while marching towards the back porch, where her parents were shepherding her towards. No sooner had she stepped outside did they shut and locked the door.

Abraham was pacing again, just beyond the back porch. He glanced up when she stepped outside, but kept on pacing even as she stared holes into his head.

She walked up to the top of the steps and folded her arms. He ran a hand through his thin brown hair and said nothing. The ground was muddy and it caked the sides of his beloved Nikes, but he didn’t seem to care.

Fine, she’d bite. “What the hell are you doing here?”

He wasn’t quick enough to hide the hurt in his voice. “I live here.”

Jenna snorted while descending the stairs, stopping on the last one because she was barefoot.

He finally stopped moving and openly scowled at her.  

“God, what’s your problem, Jenna?” he demanded. “You’ve been begging me to come home ever since I left, but now that I’m here, you’re all-”

“Yeah, well,” Jenna said quickly, her ears burning in embarrassment. He was right, of course, but that didn’t mean she’d let him throw it in her face. “You didn’t.”

“What?” he said with a hollow laugh. “Didn’t … come home? I’m literally standing right in front of you.” She opened her mouth to reply, but he stepped up and cut her off before she could. “Did you have a stroke? How many fingers am I holding up?’

He waved his index and pointer fingers in her face until she smacked them away.

“You’re so annoying!” Jenna said.

“Says the one who’s being a colossal-”

“Yeah, well…” Jenna sputtered, white-knuckling the creases of her sweater. She wanted more than anything to turn tail and go back inside, but the door was locked. “I’m not the one who ran away.”

He pulled a face and let out a laugh that made her chest constrict with anger. “I’m twenty one, Jean-o. I didn’t run away, I left my parents’ house. Most people do my age-”

“You didn’t leave!” Jenna said, stumbling over her words as all the emotions whirling in her mind jumbled together and spilled out of her mouth. “Ugh, you did, but you didn’t leave leave.”

He laughed again. Her face went beet red. “What the hell is leave leave?”

“You didn’t leave like … like move out kind of leave,” Jenna said, pointing a shaky finger at his chest. His eyebrows furrowed as tears welled in her eyes. “You ran away! You left me-!” She clamped her mouth shut, then let out a frustrated sigh. “Us! You left us!”

Somehow, the fact that Abraham deflated peeved her even more. She stubbornly rubbed her eyes, hating herself for crying.

“Jenna, I didn’t leave you,” he said in a much softer voice. “I got your messages…”

Jenna, however, spoke louder. “Like hell you didn’t! You just get up and leave and … and … oh thanks for getting my messages and not replying. That’s real nice to hear that now …” She swallowed thickly as her voice broke. “After you ignore me for like two months…”

“It wasn’t about you,” Abraham said desperately, taking a step towards her and feeling the sting as she took a step back. “Come on, he was going to take my car, Jenna.”

After Abraham had admitted that he was failing three of his classes. Their dad always had high expectations for them, and Jenna remembered with frightening clarity the fight that happened that night; every curse under the sun was used, accusations were tossed left and right - all of the ones Abraham had only ever spoken to Jenna about.

“How come they’re your babies but I’m just a freeloader?” Abraham had said, pointing an accusing finger towards Travis’, then Tash’s room. “How come you make me and Jenna live in the basement while you go to every one of their parent-teacher nights? Why do you take out what mom did to you on me and Jenna?”

Jenna had flinched at every other word, but she went white as a sheet when her father’s booming voice shook the house.

“I treat you like a freeloader because all you ever do is take advantage of me and your mother - who pays your tuition, Abraham? Who pays your car insurance-”

“She’s not my mom,” Abraham said with enough venom to kill. Jenna covered her mouth with her hand. She could hear her stepmom gasp loudly.

“What’d you just say?” their dad said, his voice scarily calm.

“She’s not my mom! She’s not Jenna’s mom, and if anyone’s the freeloader, it’s her!” Abraham said. “She’s just an excuse to treat me and Jenna like garbage because you got a brand new family!”

Jenna, from her vantage point in the basement, couldn’t see exactly what happened. All she heard was the crash of something breaking (what she would later find out to be the china cabinet), stomping footsteps, and the door slamming shut. Travis started to cry. She could hear her stepmom sobbing until the early hours of the morning. Jenna sent a text that Abraham ignored:

You promised you wouldn’t.

In the present, Jenna could find nothing else to say. “You promised you wouldn’t.”

Abraham pursed his lips together and let his hands dangle weakly by his sides. “I know …”

“You lied,” Jenna said, unable to stop the tears from streaming down her face. “You always say that it’s just me and you, but it’s really just you.”

“That ain’t true,” he said.

“If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have left,” Jenna said, her lower lip shaking. “Or you would have taken me with you.”

He stared at her silently for a long moment. The guilt and shame on his face hardly made her feel any better. The wind was cold and her toes hurt as they pressed against the damp porch.

“I’m sorry,” he said lamely. He didn’t know what else to say.

“Me too,” Jenna said. “‘Cause you’re wrong. It’s not us and them, Abe, Kristan’s been more of a mom to us than ‘mom’ ever was.”

Abraham’s expression soured. He was three years older and while Jenna used to believe that he remembered their mom better because he had three extra years to be with her, she wasn’t sure that was necessarily the case.

“Don’t say that,” he said. “Come on…”

“I don’t care if it’s not true,” Jenna said suddenly. “I really don’t. I don’t wanna find mom, Abe. Kristan’s my mom. And I don’t care if you and dad don’t get along; you’re a jerk.” Abraham took a step away, looking at Jenna as if she were a stranger. “And you promised you wouldn’t say that stuff to Kristan.”

He stared at her silently for a long moment. It hurt her to walk away, but she had nothing else to say. She turned the handle of the doorknob and surprisingly, it was unlocked. Everyone was sitting at the table, plates in front of them, impatiently waiting for Jenna and Abraham to join them.

Kristan sat up in her seat as Jenna walked through the threshold. “All good?”

Jenna looked over her shoulder. Abraham was hurrying towards the back gate, towards the driveway. Who knows when she would see him again.

“I am,” Jenna said. “Abe’s gone.”

Kristan and her dad exchanged looks. They looked uncomfortable but thankfully didn’t press her as she wiped off of her feet and made for the table.

“Sit beside me!” Travis said, flagging her down with a toothless grin. “I made sure to keep a spot empty just for you!”

Sure enough, beside Travis was a vacant seat. Beside it was Tash, who gave her a hesitant smile. The place next to their dad was also empty and remained as such throughout the whole meal.

“Could you pass the turkey, Mum?” Jenna asked after pulling in her chair. Kristan smiled, the warm way she always did whenever Jenna called her that.

“Of course,” she said.

Her father gave her a lingering look but was easily able to shake off whatever was weighing him down and give Jenna a smile when she looked his way. Travis held her hand under the table.

It was easy to ignore the thrum of Abraham’s engine as he peeled out of the driveway.