To Be, Or Not to be

“You can’t stay here. They are going to eradicate all life on this island. Something to do with contagious viruses being released under the sea. Contamination has been discovered on the other side of the island. I don’t know any more about it than that, they didn’t tell us much. But Dad, they said to come and help you get resettled. You need to leave. We need to leave, now.”

“I’d rather not.”

“It is not a matter of whether or not you want to leave, it is a matter of having to leave. The World Health Organization has determined that whatever has invaded this island has the potential to spread around the world, kill millions. They are going to destroy all life in an attempt to eradicate the potential spread. All life Dad.”

“How can they make me leave. This is where I live. This is my home. The only home I’ve ever known. I can’t just pack up and leave. My entire life is here. My work is here. I’ve got friends here. I’ve got memories here. What do you want me to do with my memories, friends? Leave them here? I can’t. That would be like abandoning my best friends. Could you abandon your best friends after having shared a life with them?”

“But you don’t have a choice. No one on this island has a choice. Everyone either leaves or dies. It is that simple. Now, have you thought about where you want to go. I can help you resettle. You can stay with me on the mainland until we find something suitable for you. You won’t be able to stay here! No one will be able to live here, no one knows for how long.”

When it comes to choices, I should be able to make them for myself. Yes, the consequences, if the wrong decision is made it can be deadly. I understand that. But aren’t there worse things than death? It seems that when you realize what you are being asked to leave, and where you are being asked to go, there is no choice really. How can they expect me to leave my life? That is what they are asking, that I leave who I am and become someone else. I am this place, this place is me.

I am as much a part of this land as is Beulah my tree, or Bee, my sea turtle. My street is a beach, my highway the sea. The stars and moon are my nightlights, and the sun causes my heart to glow. And they want me to leave this because I might die. What absurdity. Without this, I am dead.

What does death really rob us of? I believe it is the fear of there being less of what we have now, not more, like is promised. We are tangible, tactile creatures, who give and receive the meaning of life from people, animals, spirits, that may or may not exist. Does it matter? We believe because we can touch, feel, imagine what it is to be someone, something else. We breathe essence into living, by believing possibility is life. 

  Being afraid there will be less, when we have so much more, is pure folly. We place more credence on what may exist, than what does? The concept of the hereafter makes no sense. The here, and then the after, placed together as though they were joined by a magic no one can prove, a magician who doesn't believe in magic. It makes no sense. 

Why would what we have here, be the same in the hereafter? We must believe in what our imaginations tell us; it is all we have to base our speculation on. And yet, there is so much more that we refuse to acknowledge, when creating our own hereafter. I’ve got the sea, the rocks that emerge from beneath the water, and the molten rock below, biding its time. I’ve got the freedom of the birds above and the whales just off my starboard horizon.

No, I think I will stay. I will challenge this invisible reaper with all the tenacity love can procure. I find it difficult to believe Beulah will not complain about all this nonsense, possibly throw coconuts. Bee, I know, will bury the future in the sand as she has done for thousands of years and go about her business as though tomorrow is just another yesterday.

So many of our decisions are based on our desire to stay alive in one form or another, for as long as possible, and yet because of that desire, we forget to live. The dichotomy between life and death, is where we live. To deny a feeling or a touch because it might interfere with an abstract suggestion planted by fear, is not living. It, I believe, is a sign that we are already dead, and no one has had the courage to inform us.

I would rather take my chances on the continuance of life on this island, than on the projected inevitability of my death, should I remain.

Think about the possibilities.  We stumble through our existence for the length of time it takes one wave to embolden the sand with its presence, just a glimpse of an eternity. We are here, for less time than it takes to imagine not being here. So why waste it fearing what might happen after the inevitable escorts us from our place by an unknown suggestion, designed to provide us with the assurance that things will be better. Better? Better than what? How can things be better than the best? What we have now!

“Ah, you’re back. I appreciate your sincere concern for my wellbeing, but I decline your invitation. I must stay here as Beulah is afraid of the dark, and Bee, well Bee is getting older, and she sometimes has trouble finding her home. So you see if I leave, they will be left alone, and I will be left with nothing but loss and regret. I wish to avoid that for everyone’s sake, especially my own. 

I know you feel a responsibility towards me. So, I will help you fulfill your duty, by pretending I am not here. That way you can tell your superiors you didn’t see me, couldn’t find me, therefore I must be gone. Simple really.”

“I can’t do that. It would be as if I were allowing you to choose death. We have rules about things like that. You have many years ahead of you. You can begin again. With your knowledge of ecological systems you can help others adjust. Your work is invaluable. So, let me just go to the truck and get the boxes I brought, and we can get started. Alright?”

She means well, most people do. But they forget the one thing one should never forget; you can’t provide happiness, safety, or a heaven for another, no matter how well intentioned you are. They however, can make your life a hell if you allow them to.

I know of a cave, not far from here, with a view to die for.