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African American Funny Inspirational

Jennifer was rolling her eyes again at her family arguing once again at Thanksgiving.


It was the same old story.

Her mother and grandmother were technically the culprits at hand here.

It started on the magical date of January 17, 1984, exactly two years before Jennifer was born. Scratch that. That was her birthday. It was actually two years, three days, and seven hours before the only child had been born. So technically speaking, the date was January 14, 1982 at the time of 10:32 pm.


January 14, 1982 was the infamous date that allowed her loved ones to start fighting with each other about where one of the ancestors really came from.. Jennifer’s mother, Cecil S. Farrington, was upset that her own mother, Sharleen Robyn Winnipeg, was not letting go of her stance that their ancestor, Gwen Winnipeg-Farrington, had entered the state Louisiana instead of the state Colorado.


And Gwen was persistent every single year that she was right about Gwen coming from the state of Colorado.

“It doesn’t make any sense to me whatsoever how she could even come from Louisiana. They’re nothing but a bunch of bottom-feeders wanting pity and attention for their own foolish financial mistakes.”


Both Jennifer and Cecil grimaced whenever their loved one implied that people from the South were poor. For the record, rich people did exist in Louisiana. That didn’t help the fact that Jennifer could stomach Sharleen the Mean Queen, which is what she called her in her diary, to say every time she didn’t speak up to her grandmother about her mean-spirited attitude.


“I’m sure that those mistakes weren’t made unintentionally, Mother.” As always, Cecil would be agreeable to avoid further conflict.

Of course she will take her side. She never has a backbone. Maybe that’s why I’m not strong like them. Jennifer thought to herself.


Meanwhile, her father, George, was out on the front porch putting together a swing set for Tonya’s new baby to arrive.


“You know, I don’t know, ladies. Gwen did live in Colorado until she died in the year of 1979. That’s what the archives said. Tonya told me her husband Larry was able to find out thanks to knowing the University Librarian of the UCLA Library.”


 Tonya was Jennifer’s sister; she was three years older than her and already in her fourth year of college. Being able to attend UCLA, balance a job as a businesswoman, and a full-time mother lead her to being the apple of the eye for the whole family to fawn over.


While Jennifer wasn’t a Brainiac, she was still able to get decent grades and get to a decent school. Sure, Harley Edison University wasn’t a top five school like UCLA, Harvard, Yale, or any of the other pretentious schools her parents tried to push her to attend, but in a way, she felt that this was the place that fully understood her soul. She didn’t need to put up the Farrington front when she could just hide her nose in a book. It was better than to make an embarrassing fool of herself.


Yet, why did she feel curiosity about who Gwen Winnipeg-Farrington was? Was she introverted like Jennifer? How did she handle her infamous family squabbles when she was the only sane one? What about her hobbies? Did she like to read poetry? If Jennifer stopped being afraid of writing stories, and just took that damn leap of faith, she could base Gwen off as a fictional character.

History may have been lost to the unpredictable chamber of time, but writing was that predictable necessity she needed to never let her characters be forgotten.


“Besides, if she had been to Colorado, she would have never gone down to that god-awful state to begin with.”


Jennifer started to see red. Her mother had warned her to give her grandmother a break, but she didn’t care anymore. She was smirking like a holier-than-thou person, making sure that everyone knew that she was above it all because her husband, Tory Errington IV, had founded one of the best black cuisine restaurants in 1959. Or was it 1938?


It didn’t matter. She was going to give Sharleen the Mean Queen a piece of her mind.


“How dare you say that about our own family member?! Don’t you have any shame inside of yourself?”

Everybody around her was so shocked.

“Jennifer, don’t be rude to your grandmother.”


By that point, George had stopped working on that crazy contraption and was already inside of the house.

“Are you serious, Dad? Don’t be rude to her? This is the same woman who said to you that being around people in Idaho would make you the next backwards cowboy?”


She proceeded to continue sticking up for herself. Her mother tried to hold her back by taking her right arm, but she fiercely pulled away from her. Sharleen was about to get a rude awakening.

“You know what your problem is, Grandma? You just hate the idea that someone else besides you could have a great life. What happened to you that was so awful that you had to be mean towards others? Did you not get enough hugs as a child? Was your precious Daddy not able to play with you and your collection of horse figurines when you were a little girl?”


Sharleen’s eyes were getting teary. Jennifer’s lip trembled as well.

She knew that it wasn’t right to hurt someone’s feelings.


At that moment, Sharleen and Jennifer knew that apologies had to be given out right now. There was no way that Thanksgiving was going to be ruined. Again.


Wiping her tears with her manicured pink nails, the demure but firm matriarch stood up and walked towards her grandchild.

“Baby, it’s not that I think I’m better than anyone else. I never want you to believe that for one second. I love this family and I would be all alone in the world without it.”


“I understand that, Grandma, but why are you obsessed about Gwen so much?”


Grandma breathed deeply.


“Because I have proof she was a Colorado citizen. When I was still married to my sweet Tory….may his soul rest in peace...”


“Amen…” A murmur of Amens was spread across the living room. All of the food was probably cold, but that wasn’t the biggest issue right now.


“He told me that his brother-in-law, Howard Harry Hill, a really corny alliterative name, had discovered that she attended a high school in Colorado. It turns out that before he had married my husband’s sister, Judith, Howard himself had dated Gwen. They used to be high school sweethearts; they were practically the talk of the town. But then, Gwen decided to move to Louisiana…”


“HA!” Jennifer slammed her hands on the dining room table. Everyone looked up at her stunned. They never saw this side to her personality before. She started to point her finger towards her frightened grandmother, feeling as badass as ever. “So you admit it! She lived in Louisiana and Colorado!”


But then Jennifer arched her eyebrows. “But that means Gwen lived in two states in her lifetime. Why didn’t we ever think that?”


“Because she wanted another life, Jennifer,” said Sharleen. “She didn’t think that her relationship was good enough because she thought she wasn’t good enough for him to date her.”


Jennifer immediately sat back down. Her jaw almost hit the floor.


“That’s awful…but the story has a happy ending doesn’t it?”


Sharleen shook her head, eyes closed, afraid to reveal the truth.


“No, honey, it doesn’t. Gwen moved on to marry Titus Winnipeg. That’s why we’re called the Winnipeg-Farringtons.”

“So if Gwen had married Harold, then I would have been Jennifer Hill-Farrington? Wow, what a roller coaster.”


Everyone started to laugh. What would they do without Jennifer?

“Let’s eat,” Jennifer laughed along with them.


Thus, the classic battle of the Winnipeg-Farringtons had come to a close.

THE END.

June 18, 2021 15:57

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