The breakfast date

Life had been dull. There was nothing to do beyond going to work and coming back home to sleep. Lisa's schedule reduced her existence to one of pure exhaustion. She handled a lot at work, beyond her pay grade. The commute she endured every day added to her woes. She spent her weekends of late sleeping and doing chores when she could. 

Am I depressed, or is this just fatigue? 

Lisa had been mildly depressed earlier in her life. She, therefore, knew that it manifested through sleepiness. She also cried often. Something needed to change. She wasn't living, just merely existing.

The problem that she had was that she didn't know where to start. Her friends were usually supportive, but she didn't want to reach out. She was not willing to share this burden with them. She reached for her phone.

"Siri, search for how to get out of a rut," she spoke into her phone.

Lisa mulled over several article suggestions. Most of them had the same recommendations. Yet nothing resonated with her. Or maybe she was just comfortable in this funk. She decided to come back to it later. 

Seeing as the laundry was piling up, she decided to get started on it. It had been weeks since she cleaned her clothes. She wasn't enjoying it, but it needed to get done. Lisa decided to get a distraction. She went through her playlists and selected the one with the most danceable music. In any case, the articles had mentioned that exercise was a mood booster. She considered her aggressive dancing great exercise.

She caught her reflection dancing on the mirror in the corridor. She looked ridiculous. It had been weeks since she laughed. The laughter went on for several minutes. She sat on the floor with a sore throat and aching ribs. Perhaps these articles were on to something. 

She got her phone to lookup more suggestions. Goals. That's what I need to look at next. She walked into her bedroom and opened her ottoman. All her old notebooks and journals were stored there. A while back, she made several lists. She had one that contained general life goals and other small ones. She read through all of them and smiled. When she wrote them, she was full of hope. 

Where did I go wrong?

Out of all the lists, the bucket list contained the most exciting activities. 

She rewrote the list on a fresh sheet of paper and titled it "2018 resolutions". This felt like hope. She took a deep breath. It was to select something to start. Her list had a combination of basic things and more daring things. 

The first thing she decided to tackle was going for a breakfast date. She was not a morning person. It was time to try new things, though. It was also going to be a solo date. 

As she cozied up in bed in her pink silk pajamas, she scrolled through Pinterest. She was looking for cute outfits to wear to her date. Looking through her feed made her feel warm inside. This is the feeling she wanted to have every night before sleeping. 

Lisa decided to keep the Pinterest tab open on her laptop as she worked. She took a look after every couple of minutes. The only way she would feel settled is when she felt like her plans for her date were solidifying. It was an unproductive day. She still had a swing in her hips because she could feel that things were changing. 

The next days were filled with Pinterest searches. Even the planning was making her feel so different. It gave her the same rush other dates gave her. The only issue is that she really wasn't making progress. She was dragging out this planning phase, and she was worried that it was going nowhere. 

Deadline. That's the push I need. 

Lisa opened her calendar app. She gave herself three days to the date. That would be enough time to plan an outfit and venue. She wanted to try a new restaurant out. 

The pressure of the deadline made her make decisions fast. Within a few hours, she had figured out a restaurant to go to. She went through her closet. There was a beautiful dress she had been saving for a special occasion. 

On Friday evening, she laid out her dress on her grey bedroom couch. She went to sleep by 9pm, much earlier than she was used to. Her alarm was meant to go off at 5am, giving her 2 hours to get ready. She woke up 10 minutes before it rang. 

She put on her morning affirmations soundtrack while she was still in bed. The track made her feel uplifted. 

Today really is going to be great!

She lept out of bed and stretched. She caught herself just as she was about to make coffee. She was a creature of habit. She hopped into the shower and sang her all-time favorite bathroom song- I will always love you by Whitney Houston. Her singing wasn't the greatest, but the bathroom acoustics helped.

She wore her pink velvet body-hugging dress. The criss-cross detail on her chest was more understated than she remembered. She took a mirror video. Her makeup was scattered all over. Some items were in her bags, others in drawers. Since she felt like she had time, she looked for all of it. She picked out the pieces for the day and settled in front of her mirror. 

She was done in good time. The drive was peaceful. There was no traffic, and her playlist seemed to be on the best songs. The restaurant was more on the emptier side. Still, she could feel eyes on her. She knew she looked amazing, and this was confirmation. 

She ordered a full spread and took out her journal. The only way she could comfortably have a conversation with herself is if she wrote. She dug into the colorful fruit bowl first. Eating healthy made her feel like she had her life together. Today, she was giving herself a mix of things. She was also going to have a small cheat snack to celebrate accomplishing her resolutions.

She took a moment to look around. It was crazy that she had never done this before. Breakfast dates were so peaceful. The air in the restaurant felt like it flowed better. This was just the beginning of her new experiences. She was excited to see what the year had in store for her.